[WierdSituation]

Part of me wants to know how she really feels about all this since at first she kind of suggested we were “taking a break.” If she doesn’t actually feel that way then part of me wants to know so I can maybe move on quicker even though it would devastate me. And another part of me just wants to leave it as it is and continue with the occasional “how are you doing?” text conversations we have.

Today I sent her an honest text explaining how I have been struggling recently with school and my feelings but that I was also making some positive changes in my life. I personally feel like this was the right thing to do since I have bottled-up feelings and when we were together we were always honest. I told her I really missed her in this text and she responded with a apologetic but positive-mood text where she said she “misses me too and wants me to know that.”. part of me just wants to respond with something like “Do you REALLY miss me?”.

I still have extremely strong feelings for her. And I can’t accept the idea that there are other, better girls out there for me… because I honestly don’t believe there are when I look back at her personality.

Let me also explain that this girl essentially asked ME out in the beginning, and our relationship was the longest and most serious she’s had. She has multiple exes and has always been the one to initiate the break-up. We would discuss our future together and other things she had never talked about before with her other boyfriends.

[WierdSituation]

I appreciate your advice, and I realize that this is the best course to take, however I can’t seem to convince myself of that. I am in a constant limbo of wondering and dwelling, and I continually end up convincing myself that I made a huge mistake and ruined my relationship with the perfect girl. I constantly question the hope that we may have a future together since she kind of said we’re “taking a break.” And then I worry that that outcome is hopeless because I think that she has already, or will soon lose any form of attraction to me. I know I sound like a hopeless romantic here…

Part of me thinks I should talk to her or someone close to her to get my questions answered so I can stop wondering. But you do still not recommend this? What affect would this have on the possibility of getting back together in the future?

[WierdSituation]

As per request… I am posting in this same thread: Hi AskApril,

I am in a horrible situation where I can’t stop dwelling on my past relationship after my girlfriend broke up with me. I started dating her around 7 months ago, and she had fallen head-over-heels for me. One obstacle was, however, that we both go to different colleges which are separated by about 3 hours. This was my first serious relationship, and I was a bit slow with opening up to her.

After a great summer together (we were separated by an hour’s drive during the summer so we had multiple visits), we had to move back to college, and during the week after the move-in, I could tell something was bothering her from talking with her and texting her on the phone. After two weeks of college, she called me and said she “wasn’t sure about US,” and that she wasn’t ready to settle down. Rather, she said she was stressed with her college situation, and at the same time she felt like she was missing out on the college experience, and she wanted to experience that. She also mentioned that she feels bad that she’s the only girl I’ve dated and encouraged me to try meeting other girls. Also, (I have been suffering through some depression from college stress and thinking about graduation), she said that she wanted me to be happier while we were dating.

When she notified my one friend of the break-up, I found out she told him that we were “taking a break.” And that “If we get back together, it was meant to be.” However, this was immediately after the breakup with emotions flaring.

I have since had a couple conversations with her through text and I try to make it seem like I’m happy and getting over her, and I notice that she seems really happy. I asked her during our breakup if she had met someone, and she said “not really,” so I wouldn’t be surprised if she is already seeing someone else.

It has now been a little over 3 weeks since the break-up, and I am absolutely not over her, and I am constantly beating myself up about things I could have done differently to have made it work. I still absolutely feel like we were meant to be together because we were so similar and yet opposite in a lot of ways.. I feel like she was the perfect girl for me. People have said it just takes time, but with my lifelong habit of dwelling on the past, I honestly don’t think I will get over it. Part of my wants closure, but part of me wants to remain hopeful that we will end up back together.

Help? Should I write her? Call her and talk about it? Send flowers? or just forget about her (doubtful to happen).

[WierdSituation]

I guess on my next visit I’ll try to up my game 🙄 . If I get shot down I’ll probably have to find a new hairdresser 🙁 . Cheers.

[WierdSituation]

Yeah, I figured that would be the response, but I feel cautious about flirting or asking her out just because of the setting I’m in (a hair salon with other hairdressers and other clients). Is there any advice you can give me about how I could find out if she’s interested through a normal conversation? Any signs I should look for? What is it specifically that makes you think she’s interested? Keep in mind, I think she’s most likely at least 25, and she knows I’m 20, so I don’t know how she feels about that.

Thanks again

[Member]

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