Yes, I maybe running away from my problems, but that’s all I can do. Suicide was the only option that I had that time. Everyone was stressing out because of me. I just didn’t know how to handle everything then. Well for as of now I have passed all the killing myself thing and actually want to do live my life.
I cant be honest to my parents, because if my parents find out that i have been seeing my boyfriend, we are not going to have a talk. It is going to get violent. I am real scared even now just thinking that if my dad does find out that i still see my boyfriend. He is going to beat me. Just because I had ran away from the house they think I have dishonored the family’s name. My dad has tried to file complaints on my boyfriend before. I don’t want any of that to happen again. I cant tell my parents anything about my boyfriend. I have tried to explain to my parents before when they had gotten me engaged to the first guy. I sat down and had a talk with them and cried in front of them for hours. But they didn’t understand then. Then how are they going to understand now. And even when I had come back home they didn’t wait for me to fix myself up, but had sent me to India to choose a guy. They will never understand.
Yes i do want to live my own life. Even tho now they don’t let me work. I have no money at all. I know that if I do leave. I have nothing with me. From leaving the house last time I have found out who is really supporting me and who isn’t. All my family members are disappointed with me.
I cant tell anyone even “my fiance” I have never talked to him. Wouldn’t i just tell everyone that i don’t want to get married just by leaving again???
