[April Masini, your AskApril]

Where exactly do you work that you thought kissing at work was a good idea?

Yeah people make these jokes at work all the time, but this… this is the first time I’ve actually met someone who seems to expect a kiss. Bold move.

The young man might just be worried about his job, and rightfully so.

Kissing or getting too touchy-feely at work can get you in serious trouble. You could end up fired, on probation, or dealing with people gossiping about you like you’re some kind of soap
opera. Especially when you’re not even married.

And if your job allows PDA, maybe he’s just shy. You can’t hold that against him.

Also, why ask when he wants the address? He already said he’s coming. You should’ve just sent it to him. Why make it complicated?

Sounds like you’re poking at him just to see how deep his feelings run, and you’re coming across as insecure and needy. Pull it together. The second you stop chasing validation, he’ll start chasing you.

If you want to know where you stand with him, look at the real signs. Does he make time for you? Does he light up when he sees you? Those are the things that matter, not whether he kissed you in public or how fast he wanted an address.

And lastly, enough with the “pursuing.” Seriously, stop. It makes you less desirable. Just go with the flow. If he wants more, he’ll ask for more.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Moving in together can either make your relationship stronger or blow it up completely. Sounds like yours is the later.

When two people move in together, usually one person ends up carrying more of the load, and not everyone can handle that. When they can’t, they start acting out.

Is this the case in your situation? What was your contribution toward the rent, the utility bills, the groceries, and all the other expenses?

It’s not just about money. Arguments over chores and other little stuff can pile up and turn into serious resentment. So what was your contribution to the chores? Did you argue about chores?

Let’s start here, and we’ll figure out if you relationship can still be saved or you need to move on.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

That’s totally normal. Some people just stick in your heart, not just romantic partners, and that’s okay. What matters is that you don’t throw those comparisons in your current partner’s face or let it mess with what you’ve got now. But if you do catch yourself making comparisons, what you need to remember is people are different, and they love differently. Your ex loved you one way, and your current partner loves you in their own way. Neither is better or worse, they’re just different.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re not expecting too much too quickly. A couple of months is plenty of time to move things to the next stage. So the real question is, why hasn’t he made a move yet?

In my opinion, you should let him take the lead on this. Whoever does the asking sets the tone for the whole relationship.

If he’s the one who asks you out, he’s going to value and respect you more than if you do it. Men tend to see things that come too easily as cheap, and what’s cheap doesn’t get valued the way it should.

Also, do you honestly think you could handle it if he said no and then just go back to being friends like nothing happened? I seriously doubt it.

So let him come to you. If he’s interested, he’ll make his move. And if he doesn’t? Well, then you’ll have your answer .

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How exactly did moving 1,300 miles help your partner find his daughter?

You’re clearly not happy in this union. But you haven’t figured out why or you’re not telling me why. So my advice is to take some time and really think about what’s making you unhappy here.

You said he lies. Okay, but that’s way too general. That tells me nothing. Give me specifics. What kind of lies are we talking about?

You said his daughter threw your clothes away. Well, that’s not really about him, what matters is how he reacted when it happened. And you left that part out of your post. Did he stand up for you? Did he let it slide? That’s what I need to know.

You said he secretly talks to the mother of his daughter. There’s nothing wrong with him staying in contact with his child’s mother, they share a kid together. But why is it a secret? Is it because he thinks you’ll have a problem with it?

Maybe he left for 12 hours because he needed to cool off and get away from all the fighting at home?

You also said your kids adore him. Why do they adore him? What does he do that makes them feel that way? There might be more reasons to stay in this marriage than just the sex.

Personally? I think the real issue in your relationship is how he handles his relationship with his other family.

So tell me, what don’t you like about the way he manages things with them? And what would you want to change? Once we figure that out, we can work on what to do next.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Clarity? 😂

What clarity do you want? 😂

What part of “God doesn’t want me in a relationship with you” don’t you get? 😂

You’re the only one grieving right now because she’s already done and moved on

And yes, it hurts. It’s supposed to. You poured time, energy, and emotion into someone, and that hurts when it’s over.

But what are you gonna do? Ask her to go against what her “God” is telling her? 😂

There’s probably another reason she’s ending things, but that doesn’t even matter. She’s done with you. She’s moved on. And you need to do the same.

The earlier you accept it, the better for your sanity.

So get out there. Hang out with your friends. Meet new women. Have some fun. Stop sitting around waiting for clarity that’s never going to come. Move forward with your life! 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let me ask you this, does your active duty Navy husband cheat on you here in the US, or only when he’s deployed?

Because, when men are on tour there’s a whole lot going on. They’re dealing with no physical contact, loneliness, depression, anxiety, stress. And all of that can make someone look for comfort or emotional connection somewhere else.

In some units, there’s even peer pressure where being with other women is almost like a team bonding activity, and if you don’t go along with it, the guys make you feel like you’re not one of them.

Most men would cave under that kind of pressure. Only a very few men with really strong willpower and solid values can get through it without giving in.

But that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.

Whether he’s cheating at home or on tour, my advice stays the same.

Right now, you need to make a decision and stick with it for good. Is cheating a deal breaker for you or not?

Because every time you forgive him, you’re sending him a message that cheating isn’t actually a deal breaker. And each time that happens, his willpower gets weaker and he gets bolder about doing it again.

Now, as for this new man in your life, I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I will tell you what NOT to do.

Don’t make your marriage messy by cheating just because he cheated too.

Think about your kids. Don’t wreck your relationship with them because you want to get back at your husband.

You deserve to walk away from this marriage with your head held high, knowing you did right by your marriage and by your kids.

You don’t want your kids caught in the middle of both parents cheating. You want them to look up to you as the person their father should have been.

So if you feel like this new man is the right next step for you, then leave your marriage first and go into it with a clean slate. Do it the right way. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He might be 4 years older than you, but like you already said, you two are at completely different stages of life. You’re way ahead of him, and you can’t drag him along with you.

The good news is you’ve already figured out what the problems are. He puts his game ahead of you, and I’m willing to bet it’s the same story with everything else in his life, maybe even his hygiene.

And in addition to that, he’s perfectly happy with the way things are right now. He’s nowhere near ready to take the next step.

Now, could you give this kind of guy a ultimatum and get him to propose? Sure, I have no doubt he loves you. But that’s not the point. The point is he’s not ready,

You want to start a family. You will to go through 9 months of pregnancy. You will raise kids. Are you really ready to do all of that with someone who cancels plans on you because he needs to “finish one more match”?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No, no, no! Don’t do that to yourself!

You can’t turn down other guys just because you’re waiting around for something that hasn’t even happened yet.

There are tons of amazing people out there, and you’d be surprised at how great some of them might be if you’d just give them a chance. So talk to people. Go out. Have fun.

And here’s the thing, sometimes when a guy sees other people interested in you, it wakes him up a little. He might realize he needs to make a move before someone else does. But don’t make that your reason for dating other people, okay? 😉 I’m just saying it’s a nice side benefit.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you’ve spoken, shared pics, and you’ve both been honest about your height, weight, and finances, that attraction’s not just going to disappear when you meet. It’s probably going to stay the same, or get even stronger.

You’ve got no reason to be worried. Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen? You’re gonna walk away from something that feels so good right now just because of the slight chance the attraction might dip a little when you finally meet?

Come on. BEE-LIEVE

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Why does he gets defensive when the idea of being a couple comes up ?

Well Maybe he’s not into the idea of being a couple. Maybe he’s shy. Or maybe he doesn’t want you to feel pressured.

What I’m trying to say is, there are a lot of maybes here.

But one thing’s clear, he likes you and he enjoys your company.

But I’m not going to tell you to ask him to be your boyfriend. Don’t do that. What you can do is match his energy.

If you’re not already doing this, return his gestures. Look back when he stares at you. Invite him to have dinner with your parents. Make plans together. Show him you’re interested too.

That might give him the confidence he needs to step up and ask you himself.

Remember, men still want to feel like they’re chasing something worth having. In the men’s world “Easy” means “Cheap,” and cheap isn’t valued.

So whatever you do, don’t be the one to pop the question first. Let him come to you. 😉 And trust me, if he’s half the man you think he is, he will.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The energy isn’t going to magically bounce back on its own. Relationships don’t fix themselves any more than a dropped ball can throw itself back up. If you don’t catch it and toss it again, it’s going to hit the floor, hard.

But before I can actually help you, I need some clarity. What exactly was your relationship with this person? Because you didn’t say. Were you two just friends who talked a lot, or were you officially dating?

Those are two very different situations, and how you handle it depends on which one it is.

So let’s start there.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Sending lots of caring thoughts your way.

The answer to your question really depends on how long it’s been since you and your ex broke up before you were diagnosed. That’s missing in your post, so I can’t give you a straight answer without it.

How long ago was it?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I was this close to saying go ahead and ask her out officially. You’ve known each other long enough, she’s told you she likes you, and you clearly feel the same. So why not,

But then I read that part where you said, “nor do I want to let insecurity make me bail before something real forms.”

That stopped me.

What exactly did you mean by that? Because if there’s even a shadow of doubt in you about whether this thing is real, then you need to hold off. It’s not fair to ask her to commit to something you’re still questioning.

Just keep things flowing, spend time with her, enjoy the moments as they come. Let the connection prove itself instead of forcing it into a label too soon.

When it feels steady, not just exciting, then you ask her to be official.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I already have a response in mind😉, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and ask a few things.

How old is your partner’s boss? And what’s your partner’s actual position at the workplace?

Oh, and you mentioned kids, how many do you have?

Now, What exactly went down between you and your partner, and what did you say to this boss’s wife?

Forget the whole work-life being separate nonsense. He’s still his boss. Power dynamics matter, and pretending they don’t just makes you sound naïve or pretentious.

[Member]

Posts