[April Masini, your AskApril]

The spark fading? That’s normal. That happens.

But what you’re describing sounds like more than just the spark fading

If he’s so distracted or too tired to talk to you, then something is going on, and that’s what we should be focused on.

Has something changed with his job? Is there family drama? Is he stressed about something specific?

Sometimes when people are going through stuff, it spills over into their romantic relationship, and you end up feeling the effects even though it’s not really about you.

Sit down and have a real conversation with him about it. Tell him what you’ve noticed and ask him what’s going on. Then get back to me and let me know what he says.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Not everything needs to be analyzed to death. Sometimes things are just good. So take a breath, lean back, and enjoy the moment.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

From what you’ve told me about this guy, he’s only interested in getting you into bed.

A man who actually wants a relationship with you is going to care about getting to know you. He’ll want a real connection. You wouldn’t be sitting here confused about his intentions because his interest in you as a person would be crystal clear, just as clear as this guy’s focus on sex is right now.

If you go ahead and ask him out or ask if he likes you, he’s going to see right through your desperation (and honey, you are), and guys can smell that a mile away.

If he’s a player, he’ll absolutely go along with it just long enough to get what he wants. Then you’ll either get ghosted or become his backup plan while he’s out chasing someone else.

If you’re looking for casual fun and you’re okay with that, fine, go ahead. But if you want som if you don’t ething meaningful with someone? This guy isn’t it.

Lastly, NO is always enough if you don’t want to have sex with someone, Being polite shouldn’t be your concern. You don’t owe him your body

[April Masini, your AskApril]

“He claims the child’s mother doesn’t want the child around new partners”

The first thing you need to ask him is “Am I a new partner to you?”

Because five years is not new. Five years is “we are a real thing,”

I get why the mom might not want new women around her kid. That’s fair. Kids need steady people,

But a five-year girlfriend?

So it is something to worry about. Maybe he doesn’t see a future. Maybe the mom just doesn’t want you around. Maybe both. But this alone can’t be used as a measure of where you stand in his life.

Because he can’t just force you into his kid’s life against the mother’s wish, especially as a girlfriend.

All you can do is talk to him, tell him how this makes you feel, and see if he can convince the kid’s mom.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Five years together, and you’re not married? Is that your choice or his?

Because that answer matters a whole lot.

The uncomfortable but honest truth is, unless a guy is a deadbeat, a lot of his time and attention will go to his child and to who the child is with.

And here’s the other thing, he’s got to be super careful about what his kid sees and thinks about him. That’s why he probably lets his ex get away with stuff that she gets away with. He’s trying to keep the peace for his kid, even when it drives you crazy.

I need more information if I’m going to give you real help here.

Tell me about the actual situation between your man, his ex, and his kid. What’s their custody arrangement look like?

When you say she’s making accusatory calls and sending messages that mess with your peace, give me examples. What exactly is she calling or texting about late at night? What’s she accusing him of?

The details you give me are the key to me giving you advice that actually fits YOUR situation,

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let’s get this straight

You’re mad at this guy for having a conscience? He hooked up with you once, felt bad about helping you cheat on your husband, and now he doesn’t want to keep doing it. And somehow he’s the bad guy in your head?

Let’s call this what it is, you wanted an affair, he wanted out, and now you’re upset he won’t play along. You feel “used” because he won’t use you again? Come on.

And you keep saying you want to do right by your marriage while also being upset this guy won’t keep cheating with you.

His guilt or lack of it? That’s got nothing to do with your choices. Stop making him the center of this story. He’s out. He made his decision.

Now you need to make yours: Are you going to work on your marriage or are you going to leave it? Those are your options. Not “let me figure out if he really felt bad.”

Stop cluttering this up with what he thinks or feels. What do you want? And whatever that is, be honest about it with yourself.

That’s where doing the right thing actually starts.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Does her 15 year old live with you or with his father?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

What exactly are you after here? Do you not want to date him because he’s already with someone else, or do you just want to date him at all?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you want this to work, you’ve got to have the guts to talk to her about it.

It’s bold of you to think you can figure out sexual compatibility all on your own. You two are a team now.

First thing you must understand is, different women, different chemistry.

The time it takes for a woman to get arouse again after orgasm varies.

Some bounce back in a few minutes, some need hours, and others… well, who knows?😂

In this case, after her orgasm, Pull her in and cuddle. Don’t panic. Be gentle.

Every 5 minutes (no, I’m not saying use a timer 😂), try light touching, a caress on her breasts or inner thigh. Watch how she reacts.

If she looks into it and relaxes, go down on her briefly, then try penetration again. If she’s not into it, stop and try again later.

For some women though, it’s more complicated. After they come, they dry up or their vagina muscles tighten and more sex hurts.

In that case, she might not want you all over her right then. She can just rest her head on your chest until she’s relaxed enough to go again and if she’s dry, use lube.

If none of this works, you’ve got one option left. Work on yourself.

You’re probably wondering what the hell I mean.😂

You need more foreplay for you. Have her jerk you off or give you a blowjob and get yourself close. Enjoy as much as you can before you actually start penetrating.

If your girl really cares about you, she’s not gonna want you starved. She’ll work with you so sex is good for both of you.

Sexual compatibility is huge in relationships. Tons of relationships end over bad sex. So no, you’re not overreacting. You deserve good sex😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Whether her hints are friendly vibes or something deeper, what really matters here is how you feel about her.

What exactly are you so afraid of losing? The chance to torture yourself forever wondering “what if”? Come on.

You’re not risking anything.

That fear? It’s made up. All in your head.

Telling her you like her isn’t going to blow up the friendship. She’s not going to stop being your friend just because you caught feelings.

All you have to do is tell her exactly how you feel about her.

If she wants to stay friends, keep it cool. Don’t turn it into some big dramatic thing.

What happens after you tell her depends completely on how you handle her answer. If you act weird, it gets weird. If you’re cool about it, everything stays good

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He doesn’t value you. And the uncomfortable truth is if you send that message? He’s never going to.

Men like a chase. They want to hunt. They want that rush that comes with going after something they can’t quite have yet.

I don’t need to spell out what he sees you as, you already know.

The very first time a man looks at you, he already knows what he wants with you. He might want to sleep with you and still have absolutely no interest in dating you.

Those are two completely different things in a man’s mind.

If you send that message, I can tell you exactly what’s going to happen.

He’s going to smile, screenshot it, send it to his friends, and they’re all going to laugh about it. That’s not what you want.

You cannot convince a man you’re worth dating. If he didn’t see it when he first met you, you’re not going to change his mind now.

Men aren’t like women that way. They make up their minds fast.

So don’t send it. You’re worth more than chasing after someone who’s already shown you he’s not interested in what you’re offering.

Well, except you think what he’s offering is enough for you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Okay, hold on. I need you to help me understand something here.

When you say “Complicating everything, his late wife died suddenly years ago” was your boyfriend still married when the two of you got together? Because that matters.

And I’m trying to get a clear picture of what’s actually hurting you in this relationship. You mentioned he talks about his dead wife, you found out about a child from before his marriage, and there was flirting with other women (which you say is settled now). But what’s really the problem? Is it all of that combined, or is there something else going on?

Here’s what else I need to know. Who’s the one calling for these breaks, you or him? And what’s the reason each time?

How many kids do you have? And is he helping out financially with what they need?

What does your money situation look like right now?

I know these are a lot of questions, but I need the real picture here so I can actually help you figure out what to do.

Answer honestly, this isn’t about judging you, it’s about getting you some real advice that’ll actually work.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You want to know if you can rekindle something with her? Yes, but not by chasing her like a lost puppy.

She’s juggling a toddler, baby daddy drama, and a new job. That’s a full plate, and trust me, she doesn’t need anyone adding to it right now.

The timing? Off. Way off.

You’re suffocating her with all those calls and texts.

Every time you push yourself into her space, she’s gonna pull away more.

You need to stop forcing your way into her life. You’re just pushing her farther out of reach.

So, if you want any shot at all in the future, stop chasing her.

Find a time when she’s more relaxed, after work or whatever. Walk up to her, and own your mistakes.

Straight up tell her that you’ve realized how selfish and childish you’ve been.

Let her know you understand her life’s tough enough already, and you don’t want to be one more thing weighing her down.

Tell her you’re willing to give her space if that’s what she needs. And, if she does need help, you’re there, but only if she asks.

That’s all you can do. Anything else? You’re just digging yourself a deeper hole.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I get where your girlfriend’s coming from.

If the script was flipped, I’m sure you’d feel the same way.

Catching your partner, especially one in recovery, lying about anything tied to that recovery?

That’s a gut punch. It messes with trust much more than you can imagine. She’s sitting there thinking, “What else is he hiding? Is he even really recovering, or am I being played?”

To make things worse, you didn’t just lie., you disappeared for ten days right after.

Let’s be real, if her trust dropped to 50 when she caught the lie, you nuked it to zero when you left.

Those ten days could’ve been used to rebuild what broke, but instead, they made the crack a canyon.

Now, if you’re serious about getting that trust back, and assuming this wasn’t a full-blown relapse, you start by owning what you did.

No excuses. No but. Tell her straight up that you understand how bad it looked and that she has every right to feel hurt and betrayed. Then, say you’re sorry, in a way that shows you truly mean it.

After that, make it clear you’ll do whatever it takes to earn back her trust. That means consistency, transparency, and time. She doesn’t owe you instant forgiveness, and you shouldn’t expect it.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

When people say they’re “confused,” what they really mean is they’re tangled up between the fantasy they have of their partner and the truth of who that person really is and what they’re actually doing. 😁

In your case, what’s happening is simple, he’s ignoring you.

And he’s ignoring you because you’re not on his priority list, not even close.

Now, it’s up to you. Do you want to stick around for someone who’s clearly got you at the bottom of their list? Or do you realize you deserve way better than this?

[Member]

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