[coolsnew]

Thanks. After all my failures I have a feeling that I am going to be single and alone for a while. I have been alone in a crowded room for 15 years now so it is not like I don’t know how to be alone.

[coolsnew]

You ask me to let you know how it is going. Well it has went. I started to think of all the romantic things I have done in the past and have done for here lately. I even got a job offer that would move me closer and allow me to either get us a place to gether or help her and I get seperate places for the time being.

I have made a commitment to her and she has basicly told me that she is freaked out by it. She has lost the engagement ring I gave her and did not even notice it. She wasn’t even that upset about loosing it. I have also found out she has been texting and sending sexual photos to another guy (one that gives her pills). This weekend she has really been pushing me away.

After talking with a couple of friends I am going to confront her with what I know. I still love her and wish I could help support her but after the lies I don’t think that is possible. I am going to help her one last time and let her know that if she gets her act together that I might give her a second chance.

My best friend told me I deserve better. It hurts because I know she can be the best. It is tearing me up that it has come to this. I feel betraied let down and a whole host of other feelings. I am scared for her and the kids future and my own. I have not been very successful with any relationship. I keep getting hurt and or let down.
My fear for me is being alone. I am 35 and feel like I will never find the love I deserve.

It might be time for me to just become a hermit. When I can either afford it or have insurance for it I may seek counseling.

Thanks for your help.

[coolsnew]

I am doing my best to give her all the emotional support I can. We do not know who reported her. One of her children is with their father the other two the father is not in the picture by his choice.

She is getting counseling and in an outpatient treatment program.

Thank you again
I will let you know how things go.

[coolsnew]

Thank you for your advice. I will look into getting that book.
As far as what more is going on with her, this is a case of DHS over reacting.

My stress is seeing her in pain and feeling powerless to help. More of my issues are being only employed part time, finally begining a relationship with great potential, and again not being able to do more for the woman I love.

Thank you again for your advice. I will try and be more romantic or work on learning to be more romantic.

[coolsnew]

We have been on several dates. It has been kind of hard as of late but that is something I should try to do more of (Wooing her). Her parents have temorary custody currently. She does not have custody because of some accucations of drugs and depression. She has had some problems but has been and is currently getting help. Child services is over reacting and not giving us any help.
When it comes to the “it” I talked about it isn’t just sex. That is part of it but not the end all and be all. Some of it is just holding her but sometimes she pulls away. The best way to describe the it is establishing a physical connection. In my dating and relationship history I have been sensitive to my partner pulling away. I take it as a strong sign of rejection. When someone pulls away from me in just the slightest or doesn’t want me near them physicaly I take it really hard and as a sign that they don’t find me attractive or want to be near me. I don’t feel right forcing anything physical because I see it as forcing myself on someone who does not want me.
We connect on so many levels. We are both highly intelegent, have similar spiritual beliefes, and we have differences that both of us are attracted to. I love the way she always spends time to get ready to even go out the door to just get the mail.
She is attracted to my sincerity, kindness and admires how I can remain calm even in emotionally tense situations. I am attracted to how smart and inquisitive she is. She is also very beautiful.
I know there is a lot of stress right now in both of our lives. And I know the effect it can have on a person. I have a degree in mental health so I do have some idea that this is only temporary but my rational mind and emotional mind get in each other’s way. I am just afraid that when we get the stressors in our lives worked out that I will still be hypersenitive to being rejected and it will affect our relationship.

[coolsnew]

Like I said we have known each other for over 30 years and have become really good friends over the last 14. It never really developed into a serious relationship until this summer. We offically became a couple in the middle of July. The only thing that we have done is kiss. She has not been married before but her last longterm relationship ended over a year ago. Her children are 14, 6, and 1. At this time she does not have custody.

I have talked with her a little about it and let her know that it is something I feel is important to our relationship and that I want to persue. So I may have all ready messed things up. It has taken us 14 years to get to this point were we realized that we belong together. It might just be my fear and own insecuritys of the past of not the kind of guy a woman is intimate but just friends with nothing more.

[Member]

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