Ok, thanks for the response. Further background and one last thought. We have four kids. Oldest is 18 youngest is 10. If it wasn’t for the kids I think we would have been divorced long ago. I understand that I need to change to make things better, I just hesitate to make that investment if she is out running around and then lying to me about it. Worst case scenario for me is that we work it out and five years from now it comes out that she was running around and I leave her ( I’ve been through this with her once before and if it happens again, I’m out). That’s why I need to check her story out. But I also see your point about how that could backfire, even if she did in fact do nothing wrong, in which case it becomes a leap of faith go with your gut type of decision. I may wait it out and try to direct conversations at upcoming soccer practices to see if anybody says something to me about it without my directly inquiring a out it. I say something like, “thanks for posting all the pictures, looks like you guys had a lot of fun”. To which the reply might be, “we’ll some more than others”. What do you mean- well your wife and the coach were really having a lot of fun—what kind of fun, etc., etc. I would appreciate your view on this strategy. I am a financial fraud investigator so I guess it’s just in my nature to want to get to the truth before I invest in a marriage improvement program. On the other hand I once read that the greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Maybe I should just focus on that, take a leap of faith and hope for the best.
