[kaivethmouse]

[quote]I am going to take some steps here like leaving my irl husband to be with him[/quote]

You’re worried about this guy you’ve never met in reality cheating, wanting to be with him without knowing how he behaves outside of technology, out in the REAL world, when you’re already married? Wow.

[kaivethmouse]

My ex was emotionally abusive & it escalated to physically abusive. He went through anger management and always promised to get counseling, but never did. Someone once told me if a man isn’t actively pursuing counseling or change, they won’t change or benefit from counseling.

He doesn’t seem interested in being the man you want him to be. Please, please, get out. You deserve way better and need to learn that you should never put up with emotional abuse. Abuse is abuse is abuse, and emotional abuse can leave longer lasting scars than some physical abuse.

[kaivethmouse]

Um, the question I want to know is, why are you letting this emotionally abusive, controlling man back into your life? You need to get out of that relationship, realize how much you are worth, and find a new guy that treats you right.

Hey, you might even find that ONE man who doesn’t watch porn. I am female, and generally do not approve of porn, but I understand that men watch it even with good/great sex lives. Its the same way that they sometimes check out other women. So, maybe you could accept that some porn is okay – maybe you can’t. But what you should be worried about MORE are the emails about girls, the multiple nudes that might be from real people he has talked to ,and his desire for other women. That should be the reason you have no trust for him, not him watching porn.

Leave, now. There are better men out there. And it really isn’t you. It’s him.

[kaivethmouse]

Men watch porn. Its a fact of nature, and doesn’t mean that they have an issue with their girl. You need to work on your self-confidence. Chances are, he would rather have you than a pornstar bimbo, and just watches it for motivation while masturbating.

And men masturbate, not just when they are horny, but sometimes when they are bored. It’s just something to do.

[kaivethmouse]

April, I cannot get my ex to leave me alone. He’s been having hard times with life and texts me constantly about his problems. This is my child’s father so I have to have contact with him. I just don’t have the patience or emotional energy to listen to his angst when in my opinion, all his money/legal problems are his fault. He was physically/emotionally abusive towards me and yes, I did file charges so he is on probation. I just need to get him to understand that I don’t want to be his friend, and all we have to do is parent our son together.

[kaivethmouse]

I agree with the above poster! Just give yourself time to digest that. It’s not that bad if it only happened once, and it was before /you/. So take it as it is: her being honest about herself because she wants to be open with you 🙂

[kaivethmouse]

I agree with the above poster! Just give yourself time to digest that. It’s not that bad if it only happened once, and it was before /you/. So take it as it is: her being honest about herself because she wants to be open with you 🙂

[kaivethmouse]

As a parent myself, I can hope that my son will not ever be like that & I won’t ever let him get away with it. It sounds like the daughter has some serious jealousy issues so maybe, instead of leaving, you could take a small step back to give her and her father and her father some space so that they can sort it out. To teenage girls, it is highly important that we have dad-time (believe me, I was one once & did all sorts of things to get my dad’s attention), so it could be that she is scared that she will lose her dad over you.

So, pretty much work on showing her you aren’t a threat to the relationship she has with her father & you aren’t there to replace her mother, for now, if you want this to work.

But who knows? Maybe April has better advice than me:P

[kaivethmouse]

Thank you again!

I just feel like I am so new to this. I will let you know how things develop & how the meet-the-friends goes!

[kaivethmouse]

April,

Thank you so much for your advice. I’m going to go for it & maybe do bowling with them all at some point. It is very nervewracking, but I am excited he wants me to meet them.

He is in the navy & might be going away to school for a month soon – is there hope that we can continue dating through that since we just started? I think I’d be able to handle it but its really daunting.

[kaivethmouse]

Thank you so much for the reply.

I haven’t mentioned the new guy to my ex yet & don’t plan on it until we are serious. Pics aren’t going on facebook and the new guy knows I am worried how the ex will take things. He knows I have been going out on dates, but doesn’t know that I have been going out repetitively with the same guy – we are up to six outings now, with plans for a seventh.

I really hope I am overestimating the spitefulness of my ex, but he’s not over me even though he is the one that broke things off.
I know there is nothing I can do to get him to move on faster, but it’d be nice.

He wants me to meet & hang out with his friends & him soon. He’s met one of my friends (he went running with us) but he has like, this group of Navy guys he hangs out with. Idk, hanging out with a big group of people & only knowing one of them is a little overwhelming? I think is the right word. How do I handle this? I told him I’d feel overwhelmed, but he really wants to show me off to them. I suppose I should take this as a good thing! My last relationship (the ex) didn’t like me being around his friends because of silly reasons, so maybe its that I don’t know how to act around a guy’s friends when I am dating him.

Sigh.

I want to do this right.

[Member]

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