[needit5555]

Thank you. Your comments made me think. We do love each other very much and want a future together.

What do you think of the idea to keeping our commitment to one another but live our separate lives with our current spouses until we are freed of our commitments? This way we can fully focus on our relationship without the inteference of the past. This might take 1-2 years. If we go in this direction and during the 1-2 years, how, when, and for what do we communicate? Do we set boundaries? Is it better to cut-off communication? Any ideas how we can structure this?

Again, thank you.

[needit5555]

Hi April … thank you so much for the response. I think there is a lot of truth in what you are saying.

Here is the current situation…. my “love” has been out of the country for about 1 month visiting her family. During that time she contacted me twice, IMed me twice… to which I sent a brief Hi back. She will be returning from her trip by this weekend, it would be 16 days since I last heard from her. She has been out of the country before to visit her family but during that time we stayed in touch everyday. This time it is different.

Given what has happened, what should I do if she sends me an email, messages me, or calls me? How should I respond? Do I take it casually as nothing has happened and see what happens? I don’t think confronting her makes sense if this is her way of telling me that she wants her space, I’m more then happy to give it to her. What do you think? I want her to be happy and will be more then happy to step aside if she doesn’t feel it for me. She can also tell me she loves me and this doesn’t mean anything. I guess you know by now who the real love striken person is here, 🙂.

Thanks again.

[needit5555]

Hi – just as a little background, I’m 43 y.o., we have known each other for about a year. But the unusual thing is that we are in a LDR, more then a 1,500 miles separate us. I love her and feel extreme passion for her but I’m not sure if she feels the same. During this time we have seen each other twice.

Even though she says “I love you and I want to be with you”,I don’t feel that she shows the passion. I assume this should include thinking about me, wanting to be with me, making me a priority in her life, etc. Aren’t these part of being in love? I struggling to see if its better to be friends rather then lovers. I asked her this and she says:

“yes i love you and i want to be with you. why would we just be friends? we talked about this before…you don’t have to keep thinking about the right thing to do for me. I can decide for myself, I want to be with you. Why do u have so many doubts about me? It does hurt a little when u suggest that we should just be friends.”

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