Forum Replies Created
-
MemberPosts
-
ThisSucks
Member #371,952Sorry about that! POST EDIT 3/9/15:
I am convinced I have the absolute worst luck when it comes to falling for girls. I’m a 23 year old male. I met this girl (22) about a year and a half ago who was introduced to me as bisexual via her roommate who I was having a fling with. At the time, I didn’t have a romantic interest in her. We became best friends. BEST friends… as in I’ve never felt this close to a friend before, let alone a girl.
After reading the background I’m wondering what your opinion is on her sexuality.. and whether or not I should try making a move on her. I’m just worried about hurting our incredibly close relationship.
About 4 or 5 months ago I started wanting her as more than a friend.. and it has only built, big time, since then. Seriously. I am in looooooveee now.. and it’s most unfortunate given the circumstances obviously. She has a history of dating guys in high school.. and has made out with some in college (while she’s drunk, of course)… but she is clear to everyone now that she is a lesbian and not bisexual. The thing is.. rather than saying she has always been gay and it only took her until college to realize it (which is what I thought was generally the norm when people come out?).. she is convinced she WAS straight when she was dating guys. Dunno if that means anything.
So long story short.. I thought I was hopeless and I’d have to just wait until a straight girl who I was interested in came along. We’re so close that I told her that I have a serious crush on her and it didn’t really make things awkward or anything.. but she reassured me although she “loves me more than anything” she is gay and wasn’t interested in guys; and that she’d keep an eye on making sure she didn’t lead me on any more. But we hang out and talk almost every day. She’s met my family, I’ve met hers. We haven’t done anything beyond platonic other than mild cuddling/head-on-shoulder/tickling and stuff. We’ve drank together and she’s been a little extra flirty and held my hand too. I’ve remained platonic and haven’t come onto her though, other than jokingly. And she has texted me while drunk saying that she “wants me” haha. She has told me she has hung out with her ex BOYfriend recently and that they sometimes still kiss and stuff, but that it doesn’t mean anything to her. She has gotten jealous when I was with other girls. So… my point is I’m still CONFUSED. I’ve convinced myself that it’s not going to go anywhere but then she gives me a mixed signal. Do I lay down barriers and tell her to stop confusing me? Do I just continue as it is until I find someone else?
Member #371,952See new post at top! Member #371,952The thing is, she’s the one to bring it up and talk to me about it. I don’t ask her about it. I should just tell her it’s not my business? Member #371,952So I have an update: We’ve basically been continuing our relationship as it has been: hanging out one on one, getting to know each other better, etc. She definitely still leads me on and flirts with me.
Just the other night, she randomly texted me that her boyfriend was being a jerk and she doesn’t know what to do. She has never been this straightforward to me about her relationship before. This skirmish has turned into a point of uncertainty for her because her boyfriend was apparently blaming her for things and making comments to her like, “I think it’s time for me to grow up,” and “if you keep acting like this when we go out we’re going to have to talk about our future.” That sort of stuff; and they haven’t talked since then, which has been over 3 days. She told me her boyfriend is really controlling and she can’t really stand up for herself or be herself around him all the time. So because of the comments he’s made and the way he hasn’t talked to her in a few days, she is worried that he might be about to end things. The thing is, she told me she loves him and wants it to work out; but she also has been leading me on all this time too: we definitely aren’t “just friends.”
So of course I’m being the nice guy and telling her to stay positive and not worry about things, and that I’m here to talk to. Once again.. they have been dating for like 7 years and their families have grown so close, and she thinks he may have been “settling” for her for a while because of their families’ history and relationship; so I’m wondering if you thinks this sounds like a typical rough spot in a good relationship or if it sounds like it might be breaking up.. and what should I be telling her or doing since I still really like her?
Member #371,952That’s what I was planning on doing here soon. I’ll keep this thread updated with the results. Member #371,952Wow you posted that literally right as I was checking back on here. We are both 22. I really doubt that I’m in the friendzone, unless that is what she is currently trying to do go avoid ruining her current relationship, because there have been obvious signs. You don’t think 6+ years together is a sign that they will most likely just remain together? You don’t think it should be a barrier to me making moves on her? I have avoided making moves on her because I don’t want to be a home wrecker. Thanks again.
-
MemberPosts
