[screed22]

I don’t think I’m trying to control her or the relationship. I don’t demand to see her every day. When she tells me she has other plans, I always tell her to go have fun. I don’t get upset or angry about it. I understand she has a life outside of me. And I’m over the fact that she may be dating other guys on the side, I really am. I even told her that I understand we are not in a relationship and if she wants to see other guys it’s her decision, and I’m fine with that. And once again, she insists she isn’t talking to or seeing any other guys. And I believe her, to an extent. Haha.

My only issue is why have things changed? Why does she act differently towards me?

[screed22]

Bear with me here, this is kind of a long story.

I met this girl online. We talked every day for 3 months before we got to meet because she was living out of state at the time. Multiple times, before we met, she would tell me that she thinks she was falling for me, how much she liked me, how we are perfect for each other, and even one night in a drunk voice mail, she said she thinks she loves me but isn’t sure. Which I agreed with and had the same feelings.

She moved back and we started dating, but have not made anything official. This talk between us kept up for about a month through text messages and in person. She told me I’m the only one she wants, when we would see each other she would tell me how much she liked me and that she adored me, and I would wake up to good morning texts every day. Lately, I’ve noticed a big change in how she acts around me. The good morning texts have stopped, she has not told me that she likes me or adores me in at least a week. We have always called each other babe, or she calls me baby sometimes. She hasn’t said that in a few days either. And now I feel like I only hear from her if I text her first. I have no problem being the first person to text, but when it’s always me, I feel very annoying. I asked her about this. I asked if her feelings have changed at all. She insists nothing has changed. She says she is bad at showing her emotions, but I don’t know if I believe it because when we first met, she had no problems showing her emotions. She is also recently separated and her divorce will not be final until March. She also says she has her guard up because of this, which I completely understand and believe to an extent. My only issue is how everything has seemed to change. I asked about starting a relationship and she says she is nervous about it, which again, goes against everything that we used to talked about.

Every time either one of us would go to the others house, we would always greet each other with a hug and kiss. Lately that has been slowing down too. I get a goodbye kiss, but the hello kiss is very hit and miss and I feel like I have to initiate. She doesn’t really accept my compliments anymore. I don’t bombard her with them, but when I see her I will tell her how good she looks, things like that. And she usually says “eh” or brushes it off. This is her sense of humor, and I get it, but that’s not how it used to be.

My saving grace is that she still makes plans with me. She rarely ever suggests anything, but she never has, she is very indecisive. When we are out together, she still holds my hand, which she initiates. She cuddles with me when we watch movies. She talks of future events. When we talk about personalities, she says things like “get used to it” or “you’re going to be seeing a lot of that”. Stuff like that. Before we ever met, she bought us tickets to a college basketball game to see my favorite team play. Valentine’s day came and went. I got her some gifts, nothing big, but she did not reciprocate. I tell her the tickets were more than enough, but even a card or something would have been nice. So, part of me thinks she may be keeping me around until after this game, which is next Thursday. I’m also guilty of over analyzing everything, just so you know. Haha.

But, I also feel like some of this is my fault. Because of me noticing this, I have not been acting the same around her either. I have not been as up beat, and I guess you could say somewhat “depressed”. But I told myself, and her in a text message because she was out with her friend, that I’m done acting like that. I’m going to be the guy I was when we first met because that’s the real me. She didn’t reply, but we spent all day together yesterday. Everything I have described above happened yesterday. We were going to spend the night together, but her friend called her because she had broke up with her boyfriend, and she went over to her house to talk. Which I was completely fine with. They are very close, and there is no way I would ever want to come between that. When I left, she kissed me how she has not kissed me in a while. It was not a one kiss walk out the door type of thing. It seemed to have some sort of passion in it. I texted her good night when I went to bed, but no reply. But I did get a text from her at about 2:30 in the morning kind of explaining the night, so once again, a little bit of a saving grace.

I know this was a lot, and I apologize, but I just want to know what could be going on inside of her head. Thanks!

[screed22]

I guess I’m confused as to what you mean? Haha

[screed22]

I am sorry if this is crossing the line. But can I ask the name of this girl, or at least where you guys live? This sounds eerily similar to a situation I’m currently going through with a girl right now. It’s scary how it sounds like the exact same girl.

[screed22]

You make a lot of great points haha. Well thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I think it’s going to help me out a lot. Thank you!

[screed22]

It does help. Thank you! Just based on our conversations for those 3 months, it just seemed like a forgone conclusion that once she got here we would start a relationship. I think I was more upset than anything about her lying to me. Had she told me from the start that she’s been seeing other guys, I wouldn’t have taken it so hard. I over analyze everything in my head, it’s hard for me sometimes to just sit back and let things play out.

[Member]

Posts