[Patience21]

Ok…
Maybe I’m the one who needs the help more.. I wish relationships weren’t so hard…8(

Thank you very much for you time and advise!!

[Patience21]

Thank you for your advise I apperiat it very much…
On a a note, I’m seeing her or we are not together we are just friends at this point… Since 4 months ago.. I just was needing the advise on how to be there for her and if I should or not… I know I can’t fix her problems but, you can be there for people if you care for them… Me backing away was from the freindship not as a couple.. And she panics… You are right about me wanting a relationship with her I would Be interested in a romantic relationship with her… And that’s my confusion, if situations like this will change in time… As far as the testing me goes , just wondering if she is testing me to see if I will leave her and not be there for her like everyone else in her life…
I know hearing this story and your advise is probably what is best… But knowing what I know about her, putting her issues aside she is everything I want in a woman… You say I may be drawn to the issues from inside me… If I choose to stay by her side would you have any advise for me to be there for someone like her? I know it’s against your advise.. From a friend to a friend being there for her?
Thank you for your time…

[Patience21]

Hi
Thank you for the reply… I do understand that my children come first, and I don’t bring any of her drama into our life. They’re real mother does plenty of that.. One thing I didn’t mention is that she gets child support from 2 of the fathers, what I ment by no help is they have nothing to do with the boys at all.. The 2 oldest boys don’t ever see there fathers and the youngest sees his week on week off.. She works full time construction very hard work, and has never asked me for anything she has always done it on her own which I admire her for it… She has her oldest son in counseling right now for depression, and a couple weeks ago he tried to take a bunch of ibuprofen pills to hurt him self… As far as her father goes what I meant by taking care of him is being there for him he doesn’t have much and he’s taking care of 2 of his kids and 2 of there babies… And he is in bad health..

So my question to you, every man in her life so far has basically abandoned her.. Instead of getting to know her, and taking the time to understand her.. I have the patience, love and desire to do so… Are you saying I should just give up because there is no hope? Not be there for her because, she will never change? I’m very confused… How do I go about doing so, if I have so much feeling for her and her boys??.. Do situations like this ever change?? I know she will always be somewhat broken and I accept that I just want to be by her side while she tries and heal herself… I don’t want to be just another man in her life that just abandoned her when she needs someone… Is she possibly testing me?? Or am I just being hopeful about the whole situation and if so how should I go about ending it? I acctually have tried 2 times in the last 4 months to just walk away and she panics…
Also I did get a vasectomy after the first incident…

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