[KandR]

I know that losing weight isn’t something that happens over night, I think he has a hard time getting that though. I have a feeling that this stems from his ability to drop or gain 20 pounds in a month or so when he was younger, as is the metabolism of a young man. Now that he is into his 30’s, his old methods for losing weight are not working as quickly as he would like and this is frustrating him. I think I might take the scale and hide it for a few days, say that maybe the batteries ran out and I am getting some at the grocery store, that sort of thing. Maybe taking it away will help to divert this behaviour, like if he doesn’t see it when he walks past the bathroom he won’t have the sudden urge to hop on, and therefore won’t fixate on it more then he needs to?
I will keep doing what I am doing to support him and hopefully he will ‘buck up’ a bit.
Thanks April!

[KandR]

Thanks for replying, April

I like your ideas, we do are not religious or anything so I don’t know what to do about “spiritual” stuff because I am not spiritual at all. I don’t think he is religious either, he has never said anything that would me to believe he was anyways….Even when his father died he didn’t speak much about religion at all.
He works long days, 10-12 hour days, 6 days a week usually, and it is a physical job (scaffolder) so he is always climbing, carrying, lifting, walking, etc. We also have a very high-energy dog that I take to the park every day, if he can join us he will otherwise he walks the dog in the evening after supper….
We try to be healthy, we stay away from artificial things and I am a very good cook, so I often make all meals from scratch. I make my own salad dressings, my own marinades, my own seasonings, we only have gluten maybe a few times a week, as his body is sensitive to it, and I try to keep healthy snacks around the house so he isn’t tempted to go pick up anything from the store (little bags of nuts, popcorn, fruit, grain crackers, veggie bags, etc) So I do try to put in as much effort as I can as far as the food thing goes, we both see a very good naturopath and she helps to keep our bodies running smoothly as well. I try to do what I can to take charge of that part of our lives, however sometimes I still find a burger wrapper in the car even though I made him a very nice lunch. I know everybody indulges once and awhile, its natural, but to do that and then get so upset over 1 pound just seems…..counter-productive? I feel that isn’t the right word, but you know what I mean.

I also now think that maybe his job has something to do with this, as I was rereading what I had written the fact of what his coworkers say at work really stuck out for me. We have been together for over 8 years, 7 of those years he worked at a different type of job (welder) and the atmosphere was different. Most of the men there were married and had children, there was a fair amount of young guys that were just starting out in the dating world, but not many ‘damaged’ guys. They used to joke around with him about asking me if I had a sister for them, that sort of thing, I think it made him feel good. They never had a bad thing to say about him, he was a hard worker and always helped them out.
Now in this new job, it seems like from what I hear many of his coworkers are just a shade to the left of being feral. Many of them are going through tough divorces, have cheating spouses, machismo issues etc. I frequently see texts on his phone from his new coworkers with highly pornographic material in them (which is also funny so I don’t care), they send each other raunchy jokes, lots of just “good ol’ boy” stuff. I feel like that sort of environment breeds a lot of negativity and posturing….
do you think that could affect how he sees himself as well?

[Member]

Posts