[lbjtexas]

It took a truck and flatbed trailer to move it all there. The good news is that it is still packed in boxes but it is upstairs in the detached garage and inside I have a some misc furniture pieces and mirrors that were my moms. I stopped taking anything back with me when I went for visits because it always irritated him when I took more back with me than just my overnight bag. I always had to walk on eggshells, his mother too. I’m tired of the games and confusion and uncertainty. My head is still spinning and probably will for a long time. Thanks for being patient and understanding. There is so much more to this story and I wish I could say it all in 100 words or less but that is impossible. His mother is a minister too. I don’t know if I mentioned that or not.

[lbjtexas]

That is the way it made me feel after I sent it but it was not my intention to cause drama. My big dilemma is that I don’t have anyone that will go load everything up and bring it to me. I cannot afford to hire movers or I wouldn’t be writing for your advice. I’m in a pickle and cannot seem to come up with a solution on my own and I just want to get my things and close that door. Maybe I am dramatic because I have put myself in dramatic situations and now I am trying to get away from that lifestyle and I don’t know how to do it because I am too desperate and still hurt. I feel like everything is coming unraveled in my life since I took this “leap of faith” and moved away & started a whole new career that I don’t feel real secure in yet. I’m scared to death at times and wonder if I am going to be successful or homeless in the next month. And I don’t have the confidence I had 20 years ago when I lived here. I don’t mean to sound like a whiney baby or want a pity party but that is exactly what I sound like! What I really want to do is scream at the top of my lungs – not whine. I cannot believe these words are coming from me but they are. This is not who I use to be at all. I don’t have a clue what to do. Just leave it there for now and maybe one day in the near future I will be able to afford to hire movers and look back at this and go “oh geeze – I was pathetic”.

[lbjtexas]

Hello again April! I need your advice once again relating to me getting my belongings from his house. I sent his mom an email last Sunday asking her to arrange to have all of my things that are inside the house be taken outside by the garage on the day that I come for everything. I don’t want to go inside again – too many memories. And I also told her I was not emotionally strong enough to deal with him and asked that he not be present when I come if at all possible. I told her that I love her and thanked her for her support and advice she had given me many times and that I thought the sooner I can get everything out of their way the better it would be for all of us. She has not responded yet and I don’t know if I should give her a couple of more days or just call her. I hate getting her involved in any way but I also don’t want to speak to him at all. What should I do?

[lbjtexas]

Thank you so much…..and I will buy your book

[lbjtexas]

Thank you again for your stern advice. I needed to hear that. And you are right. I think I’m lazy because each relationship I have I get so swept up in it that I am blind to see all
of the red flags and another reason I know is messing me up…..I want a relationship too bad. I know it sounds like I haven’t had time to actually be single but I have. All 3 marriages
were short. The longest relationship I’ve ever had was for 8 years. And we never married. First marriage was 4 years. I divorced because he is an alcoholic (we are best friends to this day and share
4 beautiful grandchildren) the second was for 11 mos. He was mean to my son and got into porn way too much/often. The last was for 6 years. He was very abusive & I had to get a restraining order
against him and haven’t seen/heard from him since 2008. My mother was married 4 times and had abusive marriages. I hate the cliche’ of “following in your mothers steps” but that is what I am
doing! Now that I have a new career in sales I can keep myself busy and work all of the time and make lots of money. I am not going to worry about being single anymore. I am going to embrace it. I
love my new apartment and my new job. I just need to stop letting my mind wonder about him and what he is doing. Move on like you said. Any suggestions on how to do that successfully? What do I
do when he calls me or text me? Just don’t answer? And you are so right about my fear of having no connection with him. It’s hard to let go. But I know that I must. Thank you again. You have helped
me so much.

[lbjtexas]

Thank you for your advice. I love him so much. I have a very strong connection with him that I’ve never had with anyone else. We will go a couple of weeks without talking and can’t stay away for longer than 2 weeks at a time. I know it is an unhealthy relationship, my family doesn’t want me to have anything to do with him. And he is mostly why I moved away from my hometown. Why then can’t I close that door? Is it because I still have a lot of my belongings there stored? I need to just get everything from his house and see if I still feel the same or if that does help me with closure. I met him in a very low and depressed time of my life. I was living with my mother taking care of her. She died a year ago June 13th. I moved in with him and his mom (yes, he lives with his mother) for about a year. We have been through a lot together, his grandfather died last January, the same week his mom found out she has stage 4 leukemia, then my mom died in June. We have had so many memorable times together – good times. We get along great. He was my best friend for 3 years and I miss that so much. I miss him. And his mom. And now I am here in the big city by myself with a whole new career selling cars of all things. Everything has changed and I feel so alone. So lost. And then he does this to me. I’m still crying 2 days later. The tears just flow and I am so deeply hurt that he could actually do that to me. Does he even feel bad about it yet? I hate to think that he is that cold hearted. And that confuses me even more. Please advise on why I can’t let go of him even though I know it’s not a healthy relationship. What is wrong with me? I should know better at my age. We have both been married 3 times each. My 32 year old son has been telling me my “picker” is broken for years and to stay away from men. I want to grow old with someone. I want a companion. I want to be happy.

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