[eurobeauty]

Hi April,

So he will be here in a couple days to spend the weekend together while he’s here in my city for work. I still suspect he’s seeing another girl because of comments and things I’ve seen posted. It’s really bothering me. How can I get past this uneasy feeling knowing that he’s been talking and possibly sleeping with someone else while I’ll be spending the weekend with him and being intimate. With those thoughts being in the back of my mind. It just puts a bad taste in my mouth and I can’t get over those thoughts. I should be excited to see him not feeling bothered and uneasy.

[eurobeauty]

Great! I’ll take a look thank you!

[eurobeauty]

Ok thank you April. I guess time will tell. And in the meantime let him take the lead and hope for the best. Thanks again xo

[eurobeauty]

Well I know I will be staying with him for the couple days while he’s here so I’m sure we will be able to do something while he’s not working. He did text me today and said he was looking forward to seeing me. So I guess things are ok. But there is still that underlying feeling like he is probably seeing other people which I don’t like. But will try to not think too much about it. I just hope that things get better and not sure how I will know if he wants to be exclusive in the future or not. If he doesn’t bring it up is it ok to ask him later down the line? I just don’t want to sit here wondering and waiting where we stand forever if he doesn’t bring it up himself

[eurobeauty]

So just wait until he contacts me first then?

[eurobeauty]

From the beginning of January to the end of March we werent talking. He had gotten back together with an ex which then it didnt work out. Since the end of march he contacted me again apologizing for ending something good that him and I had to go back to his ex which was a complete mistake he said. we re connected and saw eachother once since then. and now will be the second time if i do end up seeing him.

I know I should be dating other guys and I am talking to other guys but my hearts all about him. And im more into that relationship with him then with anyone else. It’s just how I’ve always been.
So I have not heard from him since Saturday afternoon. Should I contact him? And should I ask him why he’s been so distant the past few days? I just sense a shift in us and it concerns me. I dont know if I should ask him about it or not. Or should I not ask him about it at all and just wait to see eachother if we do end up seeing eachother? Ive also been told to leave it and not message him at all and wait for him to contact me first. Not sure what to do.

[eurobeauty]

Hi April.
I wrote in a little while ago regarding this guy I’m seeing. We have been talking for a few months now, it’s a long distance thing, he lives in Florida I live in Ontario Canada. Since we started talking we’ve only seen eachother once when he came up here for work but speak almost every day. Where he would text me almost every morning and a couple times during the day and we talk to eachother like we are a couple even tho we’re not in a committed relationship. He’s coming up again in two weeks for work where we had planned for me to go stay with him while he’s here which we were both excited for to see eachother. Now here is my dilemma. I speculate he is talking to other women as well. I guess technically he is allowed since we’re not in a relationship but seeing as I’m not like that it’s difficult for me to date other men as I have such strong feelings for him. I see other girls comments on social media and things like that to make me pretty sure that he is. And it really bothers me. But for the past Week about, I’ve noticed a change between him and I. I’ve noticed he’s a bit more distant towards me. Doesn’t text me in the morning anymore , doesn’t text me as often through out the day, maybe like once each day, I’ve sent him a couple pictures on snap chat where he used to respond to but the last two I sent I noticed he just looked at them and never replied to them with another picture or a text reponse. Told him a couple times I missed him where he just replied with a kissy face emoticon like sending me a kiss. The past few days hasn’t told me he missed me or was thinking about me where before he used to. He still texts me every day but once later in the day and just briefly. Send me a kiss emoticon and just a brief conversation and that’s it. Maybe will send me a picture of himself from the day but that’s all. I’ve been feeling in my gut that something is off and there is something wrong but afraid if I bring it up and ask him why things are different between us, it’ll make me look needy and bad and will push him away. He’s supposed to be coming up in two weeks. Should I step back a little and give him his space and wait to see him, maybe seeing eachother will make things better since its been almost 4 months since seeing him last? Or should I bring it up to him now and ask him what’s going on? Please help. I’ve been losing sleep over this the past few days and have anxiety. I haven’t even heard from him all day today and that’s not really normal. Usually I’ll hear from him at least once but today nothing even though he’s been online social media and chat apps. I’m really scared to lose him but worrying maybe he’s pulling away.

[eurobeauty]

Thank you April 🙂 Very happy I found this forum. You’ve definitely helped put things in a new perspective for me. I’ll use your advice and focus on me and let him come to me at his own pace. Thanks again 🙂

[eurobeauty]

Yes you’re right. I just have to fight the impatient feeling of wanting to get things going. Waiting on him is taking forever. But you’re right to leave him come see me when he wants and move at his pace. Thanks for the advice April

[eurobeauty]

So your end advice would be to just leave things as they are, and just let things fall into place themselves without asking him where we stand? And also let him be the one to come up to see me first?

[eurobeauty]

I’m sorry for the mix up. I mentioned in my first post that we did meet up once while he came up here for work 2 months ago. I went to see him for a few hours while he was here and we spent some nice time together. Since then I have not seen him. That’s why we were planning to see eachother soon, either me fly down to Florida or he flies up here to see me.

He also does have the funds and he does work and does pretty good for himself but I think it’s just like any normal situation where you want to get the extra money together and take the time off work to make a trip instead of flying out on a whim. So I think that once we were in a steady relationship (if that happens) we would end up seeing eachother more often.

Thanks April. You’re absolutely right. I guess I just really have strong feelings for him and want to know where this is headed so I don’t waste time on him. I’m not the type of girl who likes to date multiple men at once when I really have eyes for one guy and like him. It’s hard for me to date like that. But you’re right not to ask him and let things go where they may at his own pace. I need to try to not be so impatient and worry that some other girl will snatch him up and I end up hurt again cause my feelings for him grow everyday as much as I try to hold back

[eurobeauty]

I feel as if I m waiting for so long for him to come up here and since he came up here to Canada last time when we saw eachother for work thats why i thought it would be ok to fly down to see him since who knows when he will come up here. He keeps telling me he is going to and just waiting to get enough funds together but Im growing impatient which is why I said Id fly there. So should I hold off on asking him about where we stand until after we see eachother?

[quote=”April Masini”]Long distance relationships are very different than in town relationships, and if a guy hasn’t made a move to date you within three months, he’s probably not that serious about the relationship. 😕 At least not yet! 😉 My advice is that you hold off on flying to see him — and let him be the one to come to you. It will give you an idea of how serious he is about you.

As for his dating other women, I think you should assume he is, since the two of you are only talking online. This isn’t a bad thing — unless, of course, you are assuming otherwise. It usually takes three months of in person dating to decide if you want to continue seeing the person and six months of in person dating to decide if you want to be monogamous. Seeing other people before that six month mark, is healthy because it keeps you from committing prematurely.

So sit tight, and let him be the one to fly to you, and meanwhile, play the field, as he probably is, until the two of you know each other in person, well enough to feel there’s a commitment.

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