[Jordan1836]

I tried something along the lines of that and she said she she doesn’t want to get my hopes up, and she doesn’t want a relationship.

But I asked her why after one month of breaking up she would want to go out with me, and she didn’t really have an answer.

I feel like if we go out together “as friends”, things will slowly start picking back up. Because most people don’t go out to eat with their recently broken up ex’s. I feel like I’m pretty good at talking and can talk my way back into, and back my words up as well. We will see. It got moved to Friday because of stuff that came up.

And I may be having false hopes and just sparing myself the heartbreak by giving into us being friends, but I feel like after the first “date” on Friday, I will know for sure exactly what she wants and I can go from there.

Thoughts?

[Jordan1836]

So I thought I was done with this, but apparently I’m not. We talked for awhile after she said that, and I brought up something about starting fresh, because she said part of her doesn’t want to let go. So after that she sent me another message and she said:

“let’s be friends and take it from there. But strictly friends.”

Then she proceeded to ask me out to lunch Thursday.

What is your opinion on that? I’m really confused right now to be completely honest. 😕

I would love to go out to eat with her, because I haven’t seen her in so long, and I feel like she understands that Im really trying to put effort into this relationship, and a part of her wants to give me another chance.

[Jordan1836]

So I did the letter, gave her flowers, and her favorite candy, and left it on her car for her to wake up to, and she texted me this morning saying:
“What you did last night was really sweet, and I appreciate the effort you put into it, but it’s happening too late. I don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore, I’m sorry, I don’t know how else to get that across to you. I just want a friendship, but if that’s too much to ask for, then I understand.”

I hate girls so much. She tells me to give her space and give her time. I give her a month and a half and I do something and it’s too late. It’s a lose/lose.

[Jordan1836]

So what would be the best way to go about letting her know I’m willing to change? A letter and gift waiting for her by her car?

The only problem with dating people that are near me, is I go to a community college 30 minutes away, and I live in a town of about 1000 people 😉 . But in a year I’m moving off to a university that is 30 minutes away from her but in the opposite direction; so nothing would really change other than I’m getting a place to myself. We were really close with each other’s families, and her mom talked to me about the whole situation and said she was rooting for us but knows her daughter is stubborn but to give it time.

But anyway, thank you for your quick reponses. This is helping and giving me a sense of relief. Because, before, I had no idea what was going to happen, and always lead myself to believe things would work out. I have two options and I know what they are now, and I know it’s a long shot but I’m willing to put forth the effort. If only she knew that. 🙄

[Jordan1836]

I’m in a tough situation. I don’t want to give up, but I feel like rejection would hurt a lot worse than letting it go. I just blame myself so much, and I like to think of the what ifs. Like what if I would have done this, we would still be together, or what if I would of done this, she would be back with me by now. I guess I can try the flower and the note, but I don’t think that will work at this point.

[Jordan1836]

I understand the thinking emotionally part, but wouldn’t buying you’re ex a gift after she told you she wants to be nothing more than friends, would many that be too much? I’m using the friend side to try and not push her away any further.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get her back, but she won’t talk to me over the phone, she won’t see me in person, and she doesn’t want to talk about anything in the past. She also said she would never date me again, and she just wants to be friends. So wouldn’t giving her gifts frustrate her?

[Member]

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