[Flower14]

Thank you April. I have one last question. Do you think it’s selfish n inconsiderate of me ? Because I haven’t been a good girlfriend and I haven’t sacrificed much in the relationship. ? Like I said I love him n want to move in. But my family will go insane n turn on each other. He says that’s needed so they can see their mistakes like I said. He says I need to choose happiness n that if I stay here. That’s not hapoiness

[Flower14]

I guess I’m just desperate. I’ve made so many mistakes and always chosen my family first. It is true I’ve been selfish and not the best girlfriend. I guess it’s also me feeling guilty and very bad. For allowing so much to go wrong

[Flower14]

[quote=”Flower14″]Thanks for the advice. He just wanted me to move in so we could be happy without my family issues. N we could get out of debt faster. And see how compatible we are before getting married. I do want to move in. But I know what it’s going to cause with my family. He says I shouldn’t worry because they don’t love me and it will work out. N I don’t need my aunt or my cousin because they threatened to to hit me. N my dad. If he really loved us he wouldn’t leave. But he’s so embarrassed by my actions. It’s not that I don’t want to move in. It’s just I don’t want to cause more family problems. They’re going to turn on each other. It will get ugly with them. And I don’t want things to get uglier with them. He just says I don’t sacrifice and I’m allowing them control our relationship because all I’ve focused on was what they want. He says I don’t love him. Because I never sacrificed anything I always cared more about my family problems. N their feelings. He says if I really loved him. I would’ve sacrificed moving in. Even if things got ugly.i can’t move out. I’m still in school and waiting to graduate. N that’s when we were supposed to move in. He’s been here for me so much. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have graduated. He’s done so much for me and I haven’t sacrificed anything He says I don’t give n f about him. And it’s true. I haven’t sacrificed anything. I’ve always put my family first. I’ve been very selfish. I wasn’t there for him. I was horrible I never fought for the relationship. I’m too much of a coward. To stand up. To my family. He says I won’t fight I’ll allow anything to happen with my family. Because I’m too scared of them. N I don’t fight for the relationship. He’s done so much and I’ve been a bad girlfriend. I’ve never listened. I’ve never communicated. But I am scared about messing up the family more if I move in. They feel I’m choosing a man over my family. I’m just so emotionally craxy. I love him. I’ve been a bad girlfriend. I’ve been horrible. I just idk should I sacrifice messing up the family? To move in with the man I love . He’s really the best boyfriend I’ve had a great guy. Or should I mess up my relationship have him leave me. I haven’t shown I care I’ve been selfish disrespectful. He’s told me he feels unloved n unwanted for the longest time. He just says I’m willing to loose the relationship because I won’t stand up to anyone. I’m so broken. And so all over the place. I really don’t want to loose him. He says no matter when I move in. With him or someone else. My family will turn on each other. N go crazy. He says I’m thinking of a solution. But there’s no solution. With my family. I know I’ve disrespected the house. And I lied to the family. I know I’ve done a lot of bad things in this house that’s not mine. My family says I’m selfish for leaving the house. Because my dad will leave to our country. N my mom will suffer. N it will cause a lot of drama. They say I don’t love them if I do it. But if I don’t move in with Gabriel my boyfriend it shows I don’t love him. N yes I care about my family and I love Gabriel. N j know I haven’t sacrificed anything. But it sucks being in the middle. I don’t want my relationship to end. But I know he’s fed up with my actions. N my family. He’s ready to leave. He says things are gonna get worse no matter what. I’m a lost cause. I don’t want to loose my family or him. But with how things are idk. I love him I do. I’m so desperate to find a solution or fix things. Or someway to make someone happy. And I can’t move in with a friend. Because I don’t have any to move in. And he’s going to say oh it’s because you don’t want to live with me in my studio. It’s because you don’t love me. N I do want to move in with him. But I’m just scared n worried about what’s going to happen with my family. I know that me moving in with my boyfriend. Will cause disaster. N I’ll loose some of my family. He says disaster needs to happen so they can realize their mistakes. I haven’t sacrificed anything. It’s the perfect moment to sacrifice. But idk should I let him go he’s so awesome. He’s been great to me. It’s like I’m torn with what my family says and with what he says. I guess I’m just weak. I really need all the advice I can get. N if I stay here I won’t be able to see him really. N I can’t move out on my own. I have so many loans to pay off n I have to work and New York is expensive. I just I’m so lost. Idk how to go about things. I need more advice please and thank you[/quote]

[Flower14]

Thanks for the advice. He just wanted me to move in so we could be happy without my family issues. N we could get out of debt faster. And see how compatible we are before getting married. I do want to move in. But I know what it’s going to cause with my family. He says I shouldn’t worry because they don’t love me and it will work out. N I don’t need my aunt or my cousin because they threatened to to hit me. N my dad. If he really loved us he wouldn’t leave. But he’s so embarrassed by my actions. It’s not that I don’t want to move in. It’s just I don’t want to cause more family problems. They’re going to turn on each other. It will get ugly with them. And I don’t want things to get uglier with them. He just says I don’t sacrifice and I’m allowing them control our relationship because all I’ve focused on was what they want. He says I don’t love him. Because I never sacrificed anything I always cared more about my family problems. N their feelings. He says if I really loved him. I would’ve sacrificed moving in. Even if things got ugly.i can’t move out. I’m still in school and waiting to graduate. N that’s when we were supposed to move in. He’s been here for me so much. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have graduated. He’s done so much for me and I haven’t sacrificed anything He says I don’t give n f about him. And it’s true. I haven’t sacrificed anything. I’ve always put my family first. I’ve been very selfish. I wasn’t there for him. I was horrible I never fought for the relationship. I’m too much of a coward. To stand up. To my family. He says I won’t fight I’ll allow anything to happen with my family. Because I’m too scared of them. N I don’t fight for the relationship. He’s done so much and I’ve been a bad girlfriend. I’ve never listened. I’ve never communicated. But I am scared about messing up the family more if I move in. They feel I’m choosing a man over my family. I’m just so emotionally craxy. I love him. I’ve been a bad girlfriend. I’ve been horrible. I just idk should I sacrifice messing up the family? To move in with the man I love . He’s really the best boyfriend I’ve had a great guy. Or should I mess up my relationship have him leave me. I haven’t shown I care I’ve been selfish disrespectful. He’s told me he feels unloved n unwanted for the longest time. He just says I’m willing to loose the relationship because I won’t stand up to anyone. I’m so broken. And so all over the place. I really don’t want to loose him. He says no matter when I move in. With him or someone else. My family will turn on each other. N go crazy. He says I’m thinking of a solution. But there’s no solution. With my family. I know I’ve disrespected the house. And I lied to the family. I know I’ve done a lot of bad things in this house that’s not mine. My family says I’m selfish for leaving the house. Because my dad will leave to our country. N my mom will suffer. N it will cause a lot of drama. They say I don’t love them if I do it. But if I don’t move in with Gabriel my boyfriend it shows I don’t love him. N yes I care about my family and I love Gabriel. N j know I haven’t sacrificed anything. But it sucks being in the middle. I don’t want my relationship to end. But I know he’s fed up with my actions. N my family. He’s ready to leave. He says things are gonna get worse no matter what. I’m a lost cause. I don’t want to loose my family or him. But with how things are idk. I love him I do. I’m so desperate to find a solution or fix things. Or someway to make someone happy. And I can’t move in with a friend. Because I don’t have any to move in. And he’s going to say oh it’s because you don’t want to live with me in my studio. It’s because you don’t love me. N I do want to move in with him. But I’m just scared n worried about what’s going to happen with my family. I know that me moving in with my boyfriend. Will cause disaster. N I’ll loose some of my family. He says disaster needs to happen so they can realize their mistakes. I haven’t sacrificed anything. It’s the perfect moment to sacrifice. But idk should I let him go he’s so awesome. He’s been great to me. It’s like I’m torn with what my family says and with what he says. I guess I’m just weak. I really need all the advice I can get. N if I stay here I won’t be able to see him really. N I can’t move out on my own. I have so many loans to pay off n I have to work and New York is expensive. I just I’m so lost. Idk how to go about things. I need more advice please and thank you

[Flower14]

So I should leave my boyfriend the reason he wanted me to move in. Is because if I live here I won’t be able to see him. Or talk. N we could get out of debt faster. N be happy. N not deal with my family. But if I move in it’s gonna destroy stuff with my family. I love him so much and he’s thinking of leaving me

[Flower14]

Wow thank you for the advice Do you think I’m a coward ? I always said I was going to move in and never kept my word If I live here with my family I won’t be happy with him. N he’s in debt to be traveling to another state. I was going to move in. But not with all these family problems. And if I move out. They will turn against each other. And things will get ugly with my family. I feel like such a coward and liar for not keeping my word. My family thinks I deserve to be hit n punched for disrespecting the house. I’m going through so much emotional issues He says I’m a coward for not standing up n stupid for making him wait longer to suffer. But idk what to do I don’t want to make the family suffer. Or him. I want to both make them happy I just can’t move out and let the family destroy themselves like that because of me. And he says they don’t care about me.they don’t love me. That I’m a coward a liar and naive and stupid I just don’t know what to do any more advice please I’m so desperate to save my relationship n my family

[Flower14]

Thank you. That I understand. I admit my mistakes. And understand them. The problem is idk what to do. How to do it ? My family disapproves of my relationship they feel I have disrespected the house which is true. And they don’t like the age difference. It’s 13 years. And they feel I’m going to ruin my life. I’m ready to settle. They said if I move out with him. They will never talk to me again. I won’t be invited. They’ll hate me forever. They will go to his house n beat me up. Because they hate him and they think I’m going to ruin my life and be unhappy and they said more. And I love him and I do want to move in. And I don’t want to loose him. And he’s been through so much with my family and me. He said if I don’t move in. He will leave me. We been together 7 months. But I don’t want to make my family unhappy N never talk to them again. I’m in the middle it’s the hardest decision of my life. I love them both. And I want to make them both happy. But I don’t want to loose him. And we promised to live with each other. Before all the problems. It was so clear to move in. But he says I’m a coward for not standing up to my family. And his ex went through the same problem. And she sacrificed. A lot of money and family problems. She’s his age too. She sacrificed more. And he said that means she loved him more. And was not a coward. But I am. Idk what to do. I love him so much. But family is going to hate me. And my father is gonna go back to our country. We never really lived together this is his first time here I haven’t lived with him since I was seven and I’m 19. N if he leaves my mom is going to be alone. I live in my cousins house. N they hate me for being with him. So idk what to decide I’m in the middle

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