Thanks for the advice, April. Of course you’re right – I guess I just need time to get my head round it. For her, it happened years ago, but for me it might as well have happened yesterday. And it is completely not her fault – if she’d struggled she could have suffered serious injury. So, much as it hurts to know my wife made it as easy as possible for her rapist to penetrate her and have intercourse, I know deep down it does not constitute consent in any way. I have more difficulty with her actions the next day, being able to go through a long day of business meetings hours after having been raped twice and knowing that, despite taking emergency contraception, it had happened at her most fertile time of the month and there was still a chance of pregnancy – I guess that reaction in itself might have been a form of denial. I agree we have a lot to talk through, and I do take your point that, however traumatic this is for me, it has been infinitely worse for her – not only having suffered the attack but having bottled it up this long. I promise that I will do my best not to be judgemental and to give her the support she deserves.
