[nicole1]

1)The foreskin teared a bit.He told me stuff like that happen and that he’ll most likely need circumcision.
2)I wasn’t scared [i]of [/i]him,but [i]for [/i]him.The tear could get bigger or he would be in pain.That’s why I wanted him to pull out.

As for me looking for validation on sex,he says that things are indeed “better” and I’m really trying to initiate more often or be more affectionate and expressive in order to match his libido.Hopefully,there will be more impovement in this department but he says he’s good with that.
I will definitely try and do what you suggest in the last paragraph!I understand that he needs his own time and space after an argument and I believe I can give them to him.However,I’m hoping to meet him some time in the following days and ask him what I can do to make him more acceptive of my negative emotions.That is [b]really [/b]troubling me because ,otherwise, I’m afraid I will keep holding them to myself which,in turn,will lead to more (easily avoidable) issues…

[nicole1]

Issue with boyfriend…I think we are both at fault but he just blames me!
#1
Hello Arpil!
This is the second time I’m turning to you for advice. The first was only last month(we almost broke up because our friends broke up-thankfully we have moved on). Now, there is another thing that has been troubling us.
Around mid-February, my boyfriend and I had an argument about our sex life. According to him, he quite often felt like I wasn’t attracted to him and that, even if I was, I wasn’t showing it. From then on I have tried to be more expressive and I believe I’m improving. I must admit it’s not easy;I have low libido despite being only 20, whereas my boyfriend is the exact opposite. A bit more than a week ago I dared ask him if he was more satisfied and if I actually was becoming more expressive than before and he confirmed that things were getting better.
Then, we had an ‘accident’ on Saturday and, as a result, he has to get circumcised. The appointment for the surgery is set for tomorrow, Friday.
Last night he came over to my place and we ended up having sex. It was a bit strange and I was scared, but we made it work. This morning he tried to initiate again and I said ok as long as he would withdraw if I asked so. He was actually the one who suggested that!
Eventually I asked him to stop, he asked why, I said I was scared about him. Yet he kept going. I proceeded to ask him three more times before I sort of pushed him over. I told him not to do that again and he just rolled over and started getting dressed. I mimiced him as I had a class an hour later and told him to look at me. He didn’t. I reached to touch his back and said ‘don’t touch me’. The he muttered something about him not being able to handle him trying to guess how I felt. I asked if I could call later and he said no.
Now, here’s my issue. He has mentioned once before that I didn’t express my emotions and it was frustrating to him and I tried to be more open. But then he started to avoid the conflict that sometimes came when I spoke about negative feelings. As a result, I learnt to only express my positive feelings. Given this, how was I supposed to express my humiliation after what happened in the morning?(unfortunately I didn’t get to tell that to him. he always turns his back on me or leaves the house whenever conflict happens.)
I should also mention that he has a lot going on lately; he recently got his first job, he has a paper to write that he hasn’t even started and he has the surgery.
I feel like we have broken up. Should I try to call him in a couple of days since he has the surgery tomorrow? How can I get him to listen to me about my negative feelings?
Thank you in advance!

I would like to add that we finally spoke at night.I told him everything I mention above, he apologized and we made up.My question now is;how do I approach him when I want to talk about my negative feelings?Is there any way I can positively speak them so that I don’t look like the bad guy and get rejected?

[nicole1]

I see.Thank you so much for sharing your views with me!
I will try and be there for Jim for as long as he wants me!Hopefully,we can work things out!

[nicole1]

I should probably correct something, that,at first,Jim only told me that Fred had done something really bad and that’s what I said to my friend.A month later,when he came to our place,Cara pushed him to tell her and that’s how she found out.(I should mention that that ‘really bad’ thing wasn’t that he was flirting drunk,but that he had a threesome.I found out a week after they broke up for good but haven’t told Cara).
Also,Jim’s friendship with Fred was slowly but surely falling apart due to the latter’s messy personality.Jim told me he no longer considers him a friend and they still hang out.Just last night he was at his apartment,drinking,with some other guys.

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