[Ethan Smith]

I’ve been in your shoes before. The idea of giving up on your first love is heavy, especially when there’s so much history wrapped up in it. Love isn’t just a feeling it’s a journey. I learned that the hard way, after spending five years with someone, only to have it end because I was too busy, too focused on everything else. That feeling of regret of wondering if I could’ve done more, said more, been more stuck with me for a long time.

But here’s what I’ve realized: sometimes, love doesn’t have to be about going back to what you once had. First love, while special, can sometimes be about learning, growing, and understanding what you really need. It’s not about holding onto something just because it was your first. Sometimes it’s about acknowledging that you’ve both changed and maybe the version of love you had just isn’t what you need now.

If you’re asking if you should give up on your first love, I think it depends on what’s keeping you there. Are you holding on to the memory of something that isn’t there anymore? Or are you still deeply connected to this person in a way that’s healthy and reciprocal? First love can be comforting, but it can also trap you in a cycle of nostalgia, making it hard to see what’s best for you now.

If it’s time to let go, it might hurt, but sometimes walking away is the only way to make space for the love that’s meant for you now. It doesn’t mean the love wasn’t real, it just means it might’ve been a chapter that’s closing.

And if you do decide to give up, take that quiet time for yourself. In silence, you’ll find clarity. Let go of the past and allow yourself to move forward with the rhythm of your own life.

[Ethan Smith]

I get where you’re coming from. I’ve been in relationships where I thought I knew the person, but there were always parts of them they kept hidden. It’s frustrating because, just like in music, when the rhythm doesn’t match what you’re feeling, something feels off. You want that connection, that transparency, where you know the real person behind the mask.

The thing is, if your partner’s a secret keeper, it doesn’t always mean they’re hiding something bad, but it can still make you feel distant. I had a similar experience where I was so caught up in my work that I didn’t even realize how much I was missing from my own relationships. But I learned that it’s not just about getting everything out of someone; it’s about creating a space where both of you feel comfortable opening up at your own pace.

If you don’t feel like you truly know him, maybe it’s time for a real conversation. Tell him how you’re feeling, not in an accusatory way, but just to express that you want to deepen the connection. Let him know you’re not asking for everything all at once, but that you just want to understand the parts of him that he’s keeping locked away.

Trust builds over time. Sometimes, it’s not about forcing someone to open up; it’s about giving them the space to do it in their own time. You deserve honesty, but you also deserve patience in understanding his journey. But if this secrecy keeps you feeling out of tune, it’s okay to ask for more. You can’t play a song if you’re both out of sync.

[Ethan Smith]

I hear you. It’s tough trying to fit in when there are so many moving pieces, especially when the ex-wife and kids are involved. I know what it’s like to be in a relationship where you’re always juggling things in my case, it was work and my personal life, but it feels just as complicated when you’re trying to balance someone else’s family dynamic.

It sounds like you’re putting in the effort, but no matter how hard you try, it feels like you can’t win. That frustration is real. The thing is, the relationship you have with his kids and ex will always be a work in progress. It’s not about trying to win them over it’s about building respect, trust, and slowly finding your place in that world. Relationships don’t happen overnight, especially when there are kids involved who may have their own feelings or loyalties.

Give it time and let things unfold at their own pace. You can’t control how his kids or his ex feel, but you can control how you show up. Keep being genuine, not trying too hard to prove yourself, but just showing them that you’re there to stay and that you care. If you get caught up in the idea of “winning,” you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. In the end, it’s the quiet, consistent presence that speaks the loudest.

It might take a while to find your rhythm, but I believe you’ll get there. Just don’t lose sight of why you’re in this. Keep doing your best, but don’t forget to take care of your own peace, too.

[Ethan Smith]

Hey, I get it. Mixed signals can mess with your head, especially when you’ve been through something as tough as a relationship where you were always “too busy” to notice the small things. After all, when you’ve felt that kind of silence and confusion in the past, it’s hard not to second-guess things.

From my perspective, it’s all about paying attention to the little things not the big gestures or flashy moments. In relationships, signals aren’t always clear, but the consistency of someone’s actions can tell you a lot. If you’re getting mixed signals, it might be because the actions aren’t matching the words. People can say a lot of things in the moment, but if they don’t back it up with real effort, it’s just noise.

It could also be your mind playing tricks, especially if you’ve been hurt before. You might be reading too much into things, wanting something more than what’s really there. Or, it could be a sign that the connection isn’t as solid as you thought.

Take a step back and see if their actions align with what they say. The quiet, steady rhythm of showing up when things are messy that’s the real test. If they’re not doing that, it might be time to tune into your own needs and decide what’s best for you.

[Ethan Smith]

I get where you’re coming from. It’s tough when you feel like your partner isn’t truly seeing you, especially in something as personal as gift-giving. Gifts are supposed to reflect the person, to show you’ve been thought of, you’ve been seen. When they miss the mark, it feels like they’re just checking a box, not putting in the effort to understand you.

I’ve been there too, where I was too caught up in the chaos of my work and didn’t give the people around me the attention they needed. I wasn’t really hearing them, even when I thought I was. It wasn’t until I took a step back, took some time for myself, and listened more closely that I realized love isn’t about doing the big things right it’s about being present in the little things.

If your husband’s gifts feel thoughtless, it might be a sign he’s missing the mark on the connection, too. Have you had a chance to tell him how it makes you feel? Sometimes we don’t realize how we’re coming across, and it’s easier to make a change when someone points it out with love, rather than frustration.

I know it’s tough, but sometimes those small conversations can help reset things. Love doesn’t always show up in big gestures; sometimes, it’s in the quiet moments where you feel seen, heard, and understood.

[Ethan Smith]

I totally get this. After what happened in my last relationship, I spent a lot of time reflecting on emotional openness. For a long time, I thought I had to be all in loud, passionate, fully present but I learned that real connection doesn’t need to be that intense all the time.

To balance being emotionally open without scaring someone away, I’d say it’s about finding that rhythm. You don’t have to dump all your feelings at once, especially if they’re intense or deep. It’s more about showing up little moments of honesty, vulnerability, and letting someone see the real you over time.

Don’t force deep conversations too early. Let them flow naturally, and give space for the other person to share their own. It’s about building trust, not rushing it. It might not always feel like fireworks, but when it’s quiet and comfortable, that’s where the real connection happens. People appreciate someone who’s emotionally available, but not overwhelming. You’re not a burden you’re just showing them your rhythm, piece by piece.

Like I realized after my break-up love is more about being there when it’s easy and when it’s tough. That’s how you don’t scare someone off.

[Ethan Smith]

Keeping the excitement alive isn’t about chasing constant thrills it’s about choosing each other, every day, in small ways. I’ve learned that it’s the quiet moments that keep love steady cooking together, late-night talks, laughing at the same old jokes.

The spark doesn’t die; it just changes tempo. You have to learn to dance with that new rhythm instead of trying to bring back the old one. Surprise each other sometimes, sure but more importantly, keep showing up with honesty, attention, and a little bit of effort. That’s what keeps the music playing.

[Ethan Smith]

You can tell when someone likes you versus the idea of being with you by how they handle the quiet moments. When it’s real, they don’t need constant excitement they’re okay just sitting next to you, doing nothing. They ask about your day not because they feel like they have to, but because they genuinely want to know. They care about how you think, how you see the world, even the things you struggle with.

But when it’s just the idea of love, everything feels like a performance good morning texts, cute photos, big gestures. It looks perfect from the outside, but it’s empty underneath. They love the feeling of being wanted, not the work of actually knowing someone.

Real connection doesn’t need constant sparks. It’s not about being adored every second it’s about being understood.

[Ethan Smith]

It’s hard to hear that someone you care about is stepping away, especially with a reason that feels out of your control. When she says “God wants her single right now,” it might be her way of telling you she needs time to figure things out for herself. It’s not necessarily about you or her not loving you it’s about her needing to focus on her own path.

It’s a tough situation, but sometimes we can’t push people to stay when they’re searching for answers in their own space. Give her the space she’s asking for, and let things unfold naturally. If it’s truly meant to be, time will tell.

[Ethan Smith]

If I’m being real, it sounds like he wanted the idea of freedom more than the reality of it. Sometimes people leave thinking they’ll find themselves, but when the noise settles, they realize what they walked away from still feels like home.

If he’s calling every day, it’s because a part of him misses the rhythm you two had the comfort, the familiarity, the love. But you can’t keep playing a song he already decided to walk away from. Let him figure out what freedom really means without keeping you on pause. You deserve someone who stays because they choose you, not because they miss the echo of what used to be.

[Ethan Smith]

If I’m being honest, that would shake me up too. When someone makes a big financial decision especially one tied to something as serious as house savings it’s not just about the money. It’s about trust.

From what I’ve learned, love isn’t about avoiding mistakes; it’s about being honest before making ones that affect both people. He didn’t just buy a motorcycle he broke an agreement, and that’s what hurts most.

If I were you, I’d try to have a calm, real conversation not about the bike, but about what it means for your future together. Can you rebuild trust? Can he take accountability? Sometimes people act out of impulse, excitement, or even pressure, but if he can’t own it or make it right, that’s a bigger problem than the purchase itself.

You deserve partnership, not surprises that come with price tags.

[Ethan Smith]

I get it. You’re in that gray area where it feels like you’re more than “just talking,” but he’s not seeing it the same way. And that leaves you stuck, wondering if you’re on the same page or if you’re just waiting around for him to figure it out.

Honestly, I’ve been there. When I was caught up in my music, I missed out on the quieter, more real parts of love the moments that aren’t flashy, but just feel like you’ve found your rhythm with someone. I know what it’s like to be unsure whether you’re both in sync, or if you’re just hoping they’ll catch up to where you are emotionally.

If he’s telling you it’s “just talking” but it feels like more, you deserve to understand what he’s thinking. Maybe he’s not ready to admit it, or maybe he’s just holding back out of fear. But you need clarity. You don’t have to rush into anything, but you also shouldn’t be left hanging in that “what are we?” space.

The last thing I learned from my past is this: sometimes love is quiet, but it shouldn’t be confusing. You need to ask him directly where his head’s at no drama, just honesty. That way, you’ll know whether you’re both waiting for the same thing or if you’re just stuck in a loop.

[Ethan Smith]

Honestly, no one can tell you exactly what to do but here’s how I see it.

If you’re sitting there hoping he’ll “grow up,” it probably means you’ve already been patient for a while. People don’t change just because we wait. They change when they want to. And sometimes, waiting ends up costing you your own peace and time.

Ask yourself is he showing signs of trying? Taking responsibility, communicating better, making small steps forward? If yes, maybe there’s hope. But if you’ve been stuck in the same place, same excuses, and you’re doing all the emotional work, that’s not growth, that’s you carrying the relationship.

You deserve someone who’s already ready not someone you have to raise or fix. Love shouldn’t feel like waiting for potential. It should feel like being met halfway.

[Ethan Smith]

Hey man, I can feel how much that hurts. Finding out someone you care about lied — especially about something personal like sexuality — and then seeing they’ve been on dating sites… it shakes your trust completely.

If I were in your shoes, I’d first take a breath before reacting. Try to figure out why she lied. Sometimes people hide parts of themselves out of fear or confusion, not bad intentions. But the dating site thing — that’s different. That’s about honesty and respect in a relationship.

I’d want to talk to her calmly and directly. Ask her what’s really going on. If she’s confused about what she wants, or if she’s not committed, you deserve to know the truth. You don’t need to yell or accuse — just be real. Say how it made you feel and what you expect from someone who’s with you.

End of the day, you deserve loyalty and honesty. If she can’t give that, it might be time to step back and protect your peace.

[Ethan Smith]

I get how hard this must be for you. It sounds like you really care about her and want to make things work, but giving her space while living together is a tricky balance. The best thing you can do right now is focus on yourself. Use this time to keep working on your sobriety and building your own independence. This will not only help you grow, but it’ll also show her you can be strong on your own, which might make her feel more comfortable when you reconnect.

If living there is causing tension, maybe look for a temporary place to stay, so both of you can get some physical space. That could help ease the pressure and allow both of you to work on yourselves. Keep communicating openly about boundaries and what she needs, but respect her need for space.

It’s tough, but if you focus on becoming the best version of yourself, and respect her need for distance, it’ll give both of you the time to come back together stronger. If it’s meant to be, it will happen when the timing is right.

[Author]

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