[Soft Truths]

You’re definitely not boring anyone, this kind of situation can be confusing and emotionally draining, especially when the signals keep crossing the way they have for you. From what you’ve described, it sounds like he’s attracted to you but is struggling with the power dynamic between you (you being his boss), the age gap, and maybe his own readiness to handle what this would mean for both of you afterward.

He’s not avoiding you completely and he keeps coming back, he kisses you, he flirts but he keeps pulling away right before things go further. That doesn’t sound like disinterest. It sounds like hesitation, maybe even self-control. Some guys won’t admit when they’re intimidated or afraid of the emotional fallout, but his pattern shows someone who cares about boundaries more than impulse.

I also think you’re underestimating how seriously he might take his goals right now. When someone’s career or future feels fragile, they can put everything else, even something (or someone) they really want on hold. It doesn’t mean he’s lying; it might mean he’s being careful, even if that feels frustratingly slow for you.

If you want clarity, you might try pulling the physical side off the table completely for a while. Keep things professional and friendly. See if he still reaches out, still engages when there’s no tension or temptation involved. That’ll tell you whether this is real or just the thrill of something forbidden.

Be gentle with yourself. You’re allowed to want closeness, and you’re allowed to want answers. Just make sure you’re not the only one carrying the emotional weight while he gets to stay in control of the timing.

[Soft Truths]

I don’t think it’s always about the guy having to make the first move, it’s more about energy and intention. When I say the guy should make the move, I’m usually talking about situations where his interest is clear, but he’s hesitating out of fear or ego. If he genuinely cares, he’ll want to show it through action, not just words or hints. That effort helps a woman feel safe and valued, especially in a world where we’re often the ones second guessing whether our feelings are being respected.

That said, I don’t think women should just sit and wait forever either. I’ve made the first move before, it’s not always about pride, it’s about connection. Sometimes you just feel something and you want to see where it goes. What matters most isn’t who takes the first step, but why they’re doing it.

If the move whoever makes it comes from a place of honesty, mutual respect, and genuine interest, it’s the right one. The rest is just tradition and timing.

[Soft Truths]

I can totally understand why you’re frustrated. It’s really hard to watch someone from your boyfriend’s past keep crossing boundaries like that, especially when you’re trying to build something real and respectful.

Your boyfriend seems to be handling it the right way. He’s shutting her down, he’s not entertaining her messages, and he’s being open with you about it. That’s actually a really good sign of his loyalty and transparency.

As for the ex, confronting her might only feed into what she wants attention, reaction, proof that she still has an effect on his life. People like that usually fade out faster when they realize they can’t get a rise out of anyone. The more calm and unbothered you stay, the quicker she loses power over the situation.

It’s okay to tell your boyfriend honestly that it makes you uncomfortable, but trust him unless he gives you a real reason not to. Let her look foolish on her own—she’s already doing a good job of that.

And one more thing? Don’t let her make you feel insecure about what you have. She’s stuck in the past. You’re in the present and that’s where he wants to be.

[Member]

Posts