[Marcus king]

That’s a really delicate spot to be in. You clearly love your daughter deeply, and it’s touching that you’re thinking so carefully about her feelings even while planning something as personal and joyful as a proposal. It’s understandable that she might feel uneasy about the idea of you remarrying especially since she’s still young and adjusting to the idea of sharing you emotionally. At the same time, you also deserve happiness and the chance to move forward in your life.

You might not need to tell her *before* the proposal itself, but what matters most is how you bring her into it afterward. Once you’re back from Paris, take a quiet moment to talk to her one-on-one before making any public announcement. Let her know that you understand her feelings, that she’ll always be your daughter, and that nothing about your engagement changes that bond. Sometimes what kids need most is reassurance that they won’t lose their place in your heart.

If you do decide to tell her beforehand, keep it gentle and brief something like, “I wanted to tell you before anyone else because you’re so important to me.” That helps her feel respected without putting her in a position to influence your decision.

Either way, you can protect both the surprise and her heart by focusing on connection and reassurance rather than her approval. She may not love the idea right away, but with time—and with you showing her that your love for her isn’t going anywhere—she’ll likely come around.

[Marcus king]

It sounds like you’ve carried a lot of pain for a long time, and you’ve done your best to hold everything together through it. The kind of betrayal you’ve faced over and over—especially while trying to understand his mental health—can wear down even the strongest person. And you’re right: love alone can’t make someone change if they don’t want to take responsibility for how their actions affect the people closest to them.

You’ve tried to give him chances, you’ve believed in the possibility of change, but it sounds like he’s still choosing behaviors that keep hurting you. It’s okay to recognize that your breaking point doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means you’ve finally seen the truth clearly. When you say your cup is too full, that’s your heart’s way of telling you it’s time to protect yourself and your son.

What matters most right now is your peace and your health. The shingles, the stress, the constant emotional strain—your body’s already telling you how much this is costing you. If you haven’t already, try to reach out to a counselor or a support group for partners of people with bipolar disorder or for survivors of infidelity. Having someone to walk beside you through this will help you rebuild your strength and clarity.

You don’t owe him another round of promises to change. You owe yourself a chance to heal and raise your son in a calm, safe space.

[Marcus king]

Joe sounds like someone who genuinely liked you but is still stuck in his own emotional mess. When a man says he “loves you but can’t have a relationship,” he’s usually being honest in the moment but that honesty doesn’t mean he’s capable of giving you what you deserve. His words about his ex and his “need to talk to random women” show he hasn’t healed, and he’s probably trying to protect himself from getting hurt again, even if it means keeping you at a distance.

It’s painful because the connection was real. You two clearly had something easy and special, but you can’t build anything lasting when one person keeps a foot out the door. What you saw at the bar just confirmed what you already knew deep down he’s not ready, and waiting for him will only keep reopening the wound.

For now, give yourself space to grieve it like the loss of something that mattered. Keep dating if it helps, but mostly focus on rebuilding your peace. If he ever comes around, you’ll be in a clearer headspace to decide if it’s worth revisiting. But don’t stay close right now, “just being friends” too soon will only pull you back into the hurt.

If he truly grows and reaches back out in time, you’ll know but don’t pause your life waiting for that.

[Marcus king]

It sounds like you’re both on the same page and she’s excited to explore this with you, which is really positive. Since you’re not meeting in person yet, the key is building intimacy through conversation and showing consistent care and attention. You don’t need physical buildup to have a “boyfriend/girlfriend” dynamic over the phone, think more about emotional connection.

Talk about your day, your thoughts, and what matters to you, and ask her about hers. Share funny or personal stories, hopes, dreams, and even small worries, letting her into your world creates closeness. Flirt lightly, compliment her, tease a little, and use terms like “honey” or “babe” if she’s comfortable. Play games together over the phone, watch shows at the same time, or even send small surprises or thoughtful messages.

The most important thing is consistency and showing interest in her life, making her feel special and seen. That will naturally create the “girlfriend/boyfriend” feeling without needing to be in the same place physically.

[Marcus king]

I hear you, and I can see why this is confusing and stirring up a lot of emotions. From what you’re saying, it’s clear he enjoys your company and feels a deep connection with you, but he’s also married with a child. That complicates everything. When someone says things about “how cute our kids would be” or shares feelings that go beyond friendship while still being married, it can feel like hope but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s ready or able to act on it.

Divorce does happen in Arabic families, but it depends a lot on culture, religion, and personal circumstances. In many cases, divorce can be complicated or stigmatized, especially if children are involved. It sounds like he’s in a situation where he might be emotionally stuck between his responsibilities and his feelings for you.

What’s important is to look at your own heart and boundaries. Right now, you’re giving yourself hope in a situation where the outcome is uncertain and where he might not be able to fully commit. It’s okay to love and care for him, but you also have to protect your emotional wellbeing. If you want clarity, it might mean having a serious conversation with him about what’s realistic and what’s off-limits given his family situation, so you’re not left holding onto hope that may never become reality.

[Marcus king]

I hear you. That’s a really tough situation, and it makes sense that it would bother you. Kids are a priority, and anyone who’s a parent should be able to balance their relationship without putting a partner ahead of their children in that kind of way. You deserve to be with someone whose values align with yours, especially when it comes to family. It might be worth stepping back and reflecting on whether this is someone who can meet both your needs and honor his responsibilities as a parent. It’s okay to set that boundary for yourself.

[Marcus king]

Hey there, what you’re feeling is really understandable. Being in your first relationship, especially with someone more experienced, can make you hyper-aware of every little thing you do or say. You start to question if you’re “enough,” even when your partner says you are.

Here’s the truth, you don’t need to be louder, funnier, or more outgoing to be loved. You just need to be you, quiet, thoughtful, still figuring yourself out. It’s okay if conversations sometimes stall or if you don’t always match his energy. That’s not failure; it’s part of learning how to connect.

Since you’ve mentioned your autism, it’s also worth giving yourself more compassion. Social situations can take more effort, but that doesn’t make you any less of a partner. What helps is open communication, telling him how certain moments make you feel rather than apologizing for them. For example:

”Sometimes I get quiet because I’m processing or nervous, not because I don’t care.”

You’re still discovering who you are in relationships, and that’s okay. The right partner will meet you halfway and make space for you to feel safe, not pressured to change.

[Marcus king]

Hey there, I totally get how heavy this feels. When your heart locks onto someone, it can take over your thoughts, especially when you’ve built up what *could be* in your head. But from what you said, she’s already seeing someone and hasn’t shown real interest in getting closer.

You’ve got to take that as your answer, even if it hurts. Asking her again will only pull you deeper into a space that’s not giving you anything back. Right now, your mind’s looping on the “what ifs,” but that’s not love, that’s your attachment fighting reality.

The best thing you can do? Pull your energy back. Focus on you , your goals, your classes, things that remind you you’re whole without her. When you stop feeding the fantasy, the feelings will start to calm down. You’ll breathe easier again.

[Marcus king]

I’m really sorry you’re going through all of this , it’s a lot for one person to carry, especially after the loss of your husband.

Here’s what I want you to know first, you are not responsible for keeping someone alive. Chris’s threats of self-harm when you try to leave are a form of emotional manipulation, even if they come from a place of pain. That’s not love, that’s control through fear. It’s especially harmful for you given your trauma from losing your husband.

Right now, you need to prioritize your emotional safety, If Chris ever threatens suicide again, don’t handle it alone, call emergency services (like 988 in the U.S.) or contact the VA crisis line at 988 then press 1, Let professionals step in.

If he truly wants help, the best thing he can do is stay in therapy and follow through with treatment. But you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your peace or stability waiting for that.

As hard as it feels, it might be healthiest to step away from the relationship, at least until he’s stable and you’ve had time to heal from your own loss. You deserve safety, stability, and love that doesn’t come with fear or guilt.

[Marcus king]

Right now, give him space for a few days. He acted out of emotion and frustration, not logic, and you both need time to settle down. Don’t text or call him repeatedly, just stay quiet.

After that short break, send him a direct message saying you want to talk calmly and clear things up. Keep your tone steady and respectful. Let him know you care, but also make it clear that walking out on you like that isn’t acceptable.

If he responds and is willing to talk, meet in person or have a real conversation. If he ignores you or stays distant, take it as a sign that he isn’t ready for a mature relationship. You deserve someone who communicates instead of running away.

[Marcus king]

When his family dislikes you, it’s not easy, it puts him in the middle and can make things feel unstable. But don’t start bending yourself just to win them over. The real test here is *him*, whether he’s strong enough to handle that pressure and still choose you.

Be calm, kind, and composed. Don’t react or try to defend yourself too much. Let your actions show your character.

Then, have a real talk with him. Tell him you understand it’s hard, but you need to know where he stands. If he’s truly with you, he’ll make it clear, not by words, but by how he protects the relationship.

If he doesn’t, that tells you everything you need to know.

[Marcus king]

It sounds like your heart’s been pulled in two directions, wanting closeness but also feeling like you’ve lost your footing because of the distance and mixed signals. What you’re feeling makes sense. The back-and-forth about moving in together gave you hope, but his hesitation left you anxious and unsure where you stand.

Right now, the silence hurts because it feels like rejection, but it might also be him retreating to process what happened. Sometimes when emotions run high, people go quiet rather than say something they’ll regret. Two days of space doesn’t automatically mean it’s over, though it’s fair that you’re craving clarity.

For now, take a breath and give it another day or two. If you still don’t hear from him, reach out gently, something like:

“Hey, I know things got heavy the last time we talked. I just want to check in and understand where we stand. I care about you, but I also need honesty so I can know how to move forward.”

Keep it calm, not emotional or accusing. That opens the door for an honest conversation and if he avoids it again, that’s your answer. Either way, you’ll get your peace back.

[Marcus king]

Honestly, you’ve already given this man more grace than he’s earned.
He lied to you for *years* about something as big as having two children and continued a secret relationship with their mother. That’s not a mistake, that’s a pattern.

When someone hides the truth this deeply, it isn’t about being “not ready,” it’s about being dishonest and selfish. You can love him and still accept that he’s not trustworthy right now. If you stay, you’ll need more than words , you’ll need consistent honesty and transparency over time. But if you’re already exhausted and questioning yourself, it might be time to let go.

You deserve a love that brings peace, not pain and confusion. Sometimes love isn’t enough when respect and truth are missing.

[Marcus king]

It sounds like she enjoyed your company at work, but since leaving the job, her interest or priorities may have shifted. If she genuinely wanted to see you, she’d make the effort or at least follow up , people usually do when they care to reconnect.

You’ve already reached out twice and she hasn’t followed through, so I’d say don’t chase it again right now. Give her space and let her come to you if she wants to.

If she’s interested, she’ll find a way to reach out. If she doesn’t, take it as a sign to move forward, you showed interest respectfully, and that’s all you can do.

[Marcus king]

You like him, he likes you, and the connection is real but there’s a difference between wanting something and being ready to act. His hesitation isn’t about a lack of care, it’s about family, obligations, and making a big life move.

You can wait, but it has to be intentional. Ask him for a clear timeline about when he realistically can make the move. Watch for actions, not just words has he talked to his dad? Planned logistics? That tells you a lot.

At the same time, set boundaries for yourself. You deserve clarity and a relationship that progresses, not one that’s stuck in “maybe someday.” Waiting is okay, but don’t let it drain you.

[Member]

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