[Lune David]

April, can I ask you something Christmas-related for myself?
When a guy doesn’t invite the woman he’s dating to Christmas with his family — even after months together — is that just normal holiday boundaries… or is it usually a sign he doesn’t see her in his future?

As a guy, I know Christmas is a big ‘family territory’ moment, but I’m curious: how do you tell the difference between healthy space and a quiet ‘you’re not part of my holiday plans’ message? Would love your advice on this.

[Lune David]

April… this whole story had more plot twists than a law-school soap opera.
A man who confesses his love while engaged, then sabotages finals, punches walls, blocks doorways, and emotionally detonates like it’s his side job — and he still thinks he’s relationship material?

This guy doesn’t ‘create drama’… he BUILDS it, decorates it, and charges admission.
And the worst part? He only acts right when he’s scared you’ll leave — not because he’s actually changed.

Honestly, I’m confused how this man made it through engineering school when he can’t even manage basic emotional wiring.

April, here’s my question:
Is there EVER a situation where giving a man like this a “second chance” is smart, or is it basically signing up for Season 2 of emotional chaos?”

Because from where I’m sitting, giving him another shot feels less like romance… and more like volunteering as tribute

[Lune David]

**April, this whole situation is giving ‘boyfriend energy with discount commitment.’

He’s fixing her apartment, spending holidays with her family, making future plans… but the moment Facebook shows another woman, suddenly he’s ‘just a friend’ who ‘doesn’t want a relationship’? Girl, he’s acting like a husband but labeling himself like a WiFi connection — available, but not responsible for any emotional outages.

And let’s be honest: when a man says he doesn’t want a relationship, that’s the only part you should believe. Everything else — the dinners, the daily chats, the repairs — that’s just premium-level confusion.

April, help me out here: why do men treat women like girlfriends, but call them ‘friends’ as if a title costs rent money? Should she stay on this rollercoaster or get off before he posts another ‘just a friend’ from a rural arena?

[Lune David]

April, I read this whole story and honestly… this guy isn’t ‘busy,’ he’s just not showing up.

Anyone who wants you will make time — even between work, school, tornadoes, and family dinners. But he’s giving her sweet words and zero action. Weeks of silence say more than all the ‘I miss you sweetheart’ lines he dropped.

She’s basically doing girlfriend-level loyalty while he’s giving part-time effort with no title. And that’s not a relationship — that’s a waiting room.

[Lune David]

**Alright, buckle up… here we go.

I just went through this entire thread — yes, every twist, turn, wristwatch, snowstorm, hug, and philosophical debate about degrees — and I’ve gotta say… you two stopped being ‘just friends’ somewhere around the part where he held your hand after the ice was gone.

Look, guys don’t do all that for a ‘buddy.’ Nobody is driving through blizzards, delivering gourmet coffee, offering weekend getaways, dropping a watch worth a quarter of a car, and smiling like he saw the sun for the first time… unless feelings are involved. Real ones. The kind he’s low-key terrified to admit because he thinks your PhD makes you some kind of mythological creature.

You’re not misreading a single thing. You’re just pretending not to see what’s already glowing like a neon sign. The guy is into you. Deeply. Consistently. Unapologetically.

And honestly? You’re into him too — your whole story reads like someone who’s trying hard to be ‘objective’ while already emotionally 10 steps ahead. No judgment… just saying what everyone else is thinking.

The only “problem” here is both of you waiting for the other to make the official move. He’s scared he’s not enough. You’re scared to look too eager. Meanwhile the rest of us are sitting here like…

‘Hello? This is already a relationship!’

So yeah — stop overthinking, keep things steady, and maybe give the guy a little signal that you’re not going anywhere. He doesn’t need to finish a degree to be “equal.” He just needs to know he’s chosen.

Good luck — though honestly, it looks like you two already won.

[Lune David]

Man… you went on just one coffee date, but your mind jumped straight into a whole story about what it could be.
Meanwhile, Lauren has already moved on and started something new with someone else — and that’s okay. It happens.

When a girl says, “I don’t want to give you false hope, I fell for someone else,” she’s being direct and respectful. There’s no hidden meaning behind it — she’s simply choosing a different path.

Here’s the realistic part:

You’re thinking about “chasing” her, but she’s already emotionally focused on another person. Even if you tried, it would only make things heavier for you.

April’s point is also true — dating apps feel like a competition. People swipe fast, make quick decisions, and it can get overwhelming. If that style isn’t for you, it’s completely fine to step away and meet people in real life where connections feel more natural and less pressured.

As for Lauren:

Don’t chase her.
Don’t try to stay in her life hoping she’ll change her mind.
Don’t settle for being her backup plan.

Let her go with maturity. Someone who accepts a situation calmly always stands out in a good way.

And usually, when you truly move on, one of two things happens:

She’ll fade from your mind and you’ll realize it wasn’t that deep.
OR

She may remember the good energy you had when you weren’t trying too hard.

Either way, you come out stronger and more confident.

[Lune David]

Bro… you basically did the emotional version of burning down your own house because you were scared someone might steal it.

You loved her, panicked, acted like a robot with trust issues, and then expected her to read your mind and see the soft, romantic version hiding behind the “I don’t care” mask. Meanwhile she’s over there confessing love on Valentine’s Day and you’re replying with… silence. My guy, that’s not protecting your heart — that’s self-sabotage on expert mode.

April’s advice is solid: own it, apologize, tell her you acted out of fear, not lack of feelings. No begging, no chasing her like a rom-com extra — just genuine honesty.

But please do not show up talking about “if your ex messes up, call me.” That’s not romantic. That’s “backup boyfriend energy.”

If you want any shot in the future, keep it simple:
“I didn’t treat you right because I was scared. You deserved better. I’m truly sorry.”

Say it, mean it, walk away. No ring speeches. No timelines. No emotional PowerPoint presentation.

If she ever misses you, she’ll remember you apologized like a man, not panicked like a toddler with WiFi problems.

[Lune David]

Man, if my wife kept giving me gifts like that, I’d start checking if she secretly pulled them from the “Random Sale Basket” at checkout. 😂 A scented candle after you’ve been talking about your favorite author for months? That’s not a gift — that’s a cry for help.

But honestly, April nailed it. You can’t upgrade a person like a phone. If he’s been this way since day one, he probably assumed you were cool with it. Guys don’t notice hints — we need clear instructions, bullet points, and maybe even a reminder alarm.

Just tell him straight: “Bro, listen. Gifts don’t need to be expensive, but they do need to have a pulse.”

You deserve someone who pays attention — not someone shopping like he’s speed-running a supermarket.

[Lune David]

It really sounds like you’re giving this relationship more energy than he is, and that imbalance is what’s making everything feel confusing. He enjoys you when it’s convenient, but he isn’t showing the consistency or enthusiasm you need. April’s advice makes sense here — his actions are telling you he’s just not as invested.
You deserve someone who doesn’t make you guess where you stand.

[Lune David]

Honestly, this whole thread feels like a roller coaster built by someone who’s scared of both heights and commitment.
Even April Masini — the actual expert here — would probably say he’s rushing because he’s chasing excitement, not stability.

If his energy is “go fast, then panic,” your energy should be “thanks, but I prefer rides that don’t break down halfway.

[Lune David]

Thanks, April — your response really puts things into perspective. It’s incredible how a marriage can slowly shift into a power struggle without either partner actually intending it. The way you simplified “don’t sweat the small stuff” makes the situation feel a little less overwhelming — even if ignoring a messy house or burnt cereal does feel like an Olympic-level event sometimes.

I appreciate how you emphasized showing appreciation in small, consistent ways. It’s easy to forget that kindness and patience can sometimes change the emotional climate faster than any big “fix.”

My question for you is:
In a situation like this — where one partner starts making real changes, softening their approach, and practicing patience — how do you know if the other partner is actually warming up… or if they’ve emotionally checked out for good?

[Lune David]

Hi April — thanks for this post!

It feels like there are a lot of signs here that point toward “something more than friendship” — the casual touches, mood-lifting attempts, and frequent invites can easily go beyond normal “just friends” behavior.

At the same time, mixed signals and hesitation might mean he’s still figuring things out (or maybe scared to cross a line).

Here’s my question: If you could pick one “make-or-break” moment that tells you this friendship has a real shot at turning romantic — what would that moment look like?

[Lune David]

I read your post — this sounds really confusing and emotionally draining. From what you wrote, he seems to be acting more like he wants attention, validation, or drama — not a real relationship.

You deserve someone who treats you with honesty and respect, not someone who uses you to feel good and then goes back to someone else.

If I were you, I’d take a step back and give myself space to heal. You don’t owe him a response just because he’s trying to get your attention.

[Lune David]

Wow, April — this hit harder than a reality check at 2 a.m. 😅 But seriously, you’re right… a ‘situationship’ feels fun until you realize you accidentally signed up for emotional taxes with no benefits.

She really does need to figure out what she wants — because if she wants an actual boyfriend, she shouldn’t waste time trying to turn a FWB into a love story when he’s clearly enjoying the perks without the commitment. And honestly, if a man truly sees you as girlfriend material, he doesn’t act confused about it for this long.

April, your breakdown made so much sense. I actually have a question for you:
What’s the best way for someone to emotionally detach from an FWB when they’ve already caught feelings, but the guy is still in ‘casual mode’?

I feel like that’s the part most people struggle with — the letting go, not just the understanding.

[Lune David]

I read your whole post, and it’s clear you’re getting a lot of mixed signals from him. One moment he’s romantic and says he loves you, and the next he pulls away and says he can’t be in a relationship. That back-and-forth is confusing and emotionally draining for anyone.

From what April said, it really does seem like he wants the comfort of having you close without giving real commitment. Staying in contact might keep you stuck in the same cycle.

April, I have a question:
How should she set a clear boundary here? And if she chooses no-contact, what’s the best way to protect her peace so she doesn’t get pulled back in again?

[Member]

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