[Daniel Carter]

Thank you for replying to me.
April I am 22 years old. When I met her I was 18 years old. She lived in the flat opposite my apartment in Miami with her aunt.
Our relationship was never long-distance while we were together. We spent real time together and saw each other regularly.
The long-distance part only started after she moved to Mexico, and that’s when everything ended suddenly.

I hope this clears things up.
Thank you for listening and for your time.

[Daniel Carter]

AskApril keeping it short and dangerous again 😂 respect.

Melanie… sharing a tent is already half the movie scene, don’t overthink it. You don’t need a speech, a plan, or a dramatic confession. Just be cute, relaxed, and a little playful. Laugh at his dumb jokes. Steal the blanket “by accident.” Let the vibe do the work.

If he likes you, you’ll feel it. If he doesn’t, at least you didn’t make it awkward for the next 10 years

Flirting is basically just saying “I’m interested” without saying it.

Trust me — tents have better chemistry than classrooms.

[Daniel Carter]

April, first of all, I really respect your honesty. You always tell the truth even when it hurts, and that’s why people trust you.

I reade this and it broke my heart. This guy loved her deeply, gave her time, money, trust, and patience. And she kept choosing someone else while keeping him on standby. That’s not love. That’s using someone’s heart.

He isn’t crazy. He isn’t weak. He just loved too much.

But loving someone who keeps disrespecting you slowly kills your self-respect. Love should feel safe, not like you’re always begging for attention.

Askapril, my question for you is:
How do you let go of someone you still love, when that person keeps proving they don’t choose you?

How do you walk away when your heart still wants to stay?

I think many of us are stuck in this same pain.

[Daniel Carter]

Hey!!!!
This honestly made me shake my head.

You treated her with care, respect, time, effort, and even support when she was struggling. And she couldn’t give you one simple message to say she was done? That hurts more than rejection.

When someone disappears like that, it’s not because you weren’t enough. It’s because they didn’t know how to be honest.

You didn’t chase her. You showed up. And she walked away silently. That says more about her than about you.

AskApril, how do you help your heart accept closure when the other person never gives it?

Because silence hurts more than truth.

[Daniel Carter]

This feels like loving someone who already started leaving.

You are not asking for too much. You just want him to care when you are hurting. And he didn’t. That’s the part that hurts the most.

Long distance only works when both people try. Right now, only you are trying.
AskApril, What do you think that
How can someone know if a person needs space… or if they already stopped loving but are too scared to say it?

Because love should not feel like waiting for replies

[Daniel Carter]

Reading this and honestly, it’s painful.

From the outside, this doesn’t look like lost love, it looks like a cycle where he kept coming back for comfort while doing whatever he wanted. Missing the old him makes sense, but that version of him isn’t there anymore.

That’s why advice from askapril hits so hard. First love feels permanent, but someone who lies, cheats, and then shuts you out isn’t your future he’s a lesson. And as much as it hurts, this ending is probably the start of healing, not something you should blame yourself for.

[Daniel Carter]

I’m not an expert at all, just someone who reads these threads and reacts honestly and this one made me say “ouch” out loud.

April said it perfectly: long conversations don’t equal a real relationship. Anyone can talk about “future” and “marriage,” but real interest shows up in actions — holidays, birthdays, meeting friends. After a year and a half, no card, no flowers, no family? That’s not being busy, that’s being distant.

From a regular person’s view, it feels like words with no weight. And fridge magnets as a gift… that kind of says it all. If you keep wondering whether you matter, that’s usually your answer. This is why advice from askapril stands out trusting your gut isn’t drama, it’s self-respect.

[Daniel Carter]

Whew. I read this whole thread and honestly… April said in one sentence what a lot of people dance around for years. That’s why AskApril hits different. No fairy tales, no cushions just truth you can actually use.

“You’re dating a married man who isn’t divorced because he doesn’t want to be.”
That line alone explains everything that followed. The ex, the kids, the money, the delays, the commitment ceremony all symptoms, not the disease.

What really stood out to me is how much work you’ve been doing. Moving twice. Driving an hour. Adjusting your life. Being patient. Being understanding. Being flexible. Meanwhile, he’s stayed exactly where he’s been for 15 years legally married, emotionally comfortable, and conflict-avoidant. That’s not bad luck. That’s a lifestyle choice.

And the ex “victim card”? That’s not magic. It works because he lets it. Paying her bills isn’t kindness. it’s avoidance dressed up as being a good guy. Boundaries would mean discomfort, and discomfort is clearly his kryptonite.

Also… can we be real for one second?
A commitment ceremony while still married is like putting a bow on a locked door and calling it progress. It feels good, but it doesn’t open anything.

April, I really appreciate how you shifted the focus back to her choices, not his excuses. That’s empowering and scary in the best way.

My question for you, April:
For someone who’s been patient for years with a conflict-avoidant partner like this, what’s the clearest action-based deadline that separates “giving it one last chance” from “accepting that this is who he is”? And how can she communicate that boundary without getting pulled back into guilt or delay?
Because love may be there but momentum clearly isn’t.

[Daniel Carter]

Honestly? This man is running a “boyfriend-lite” subscription all the emotional benefits, zero commitment, cancel anytime 🙃

He wants the late-night texts, the Valentine’s flowers, the “what are you doing right now?” check-ins… but the second you mention future, holidays, or honesty, suddenly it’s “we’re single” and “now’s not the right time.” That’s not confusion, that’s convenience.

Here’s the truth no one likes to hear (but Askapril its best):
If someone knows they want you, they don’t need time apart while still talking to you every day. They take action. They claim you. Period.

Right now, he’s keeping you emotionally undressed while calling it “friendship.” Sexy for him. Exhausting for you.

Ask yourself this and be brutally honest:
Does talking to him make you feel grounded… or does it leave you anxious, overthinking, and waiting for the next breadcrumb?

Because love isn’t supposed to feel like a cardio workout for your nervous system.

If he wants you, he can have you fully.
If not, he doesn’t get girlfriend access while choosing single freedom.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say isn’t another explanation it’s silence and self-respect.

(And yes… confidence is very attractive. Especially to you.)

[Member]

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