[TheArtistsTechnique]

Well in reading what I have posted here you only are hearing the negatives about my boyfriend. He does treat me good and I do honestly feels he is genuine that he cares about me and loves me and only wants to be with me. This is the first guy I’ve dated and actually felt he is the one. He makes me happy, but this situation doesn’t.

I do not think he respects some of my views because he is stubborn and he doesn’t see things the way I see them. I also think people are the way the are, no matter how much you try to influence them to be something else. In saying that, he thinks female-male relationships are okay to have, where as I don’t feel that way. I trusted him he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me and he is the first guy I’ve trusted. All my other boyfriends, I made them cut ties almost immediately with their girl friends…Mostly because I was jealous BUT after I broke up these boyfriends, they become friends again with the girls they cut ties with. I did tell my boyfriend to end talking to his other girl friend because he ruined my trust for that relationship when he secretly planned to hang out with her while I was out of town for a few days… that ended the trust for the female friend, and yes I almost broke up with him then for that. He has lost contact with her for me because I am more important to him.

I tried to show him that I would trust him being friends with this other female friend and although this girl still made me jealous and suspicious… I didn’t force him to stop being friends with her. He hasn’t done anything with her and she’s more of boyish acting then most girls, so I didn’t see any type of flirting coming from her, but she is very protective over my boyfriend, which made me question. She actually scared away the girl before me. Anyway, I took all of her nasty comets and brushed them off because I don’t really care what she thinks of me. They always came off playful, but were still mean things to say. But now I’ve a reason not to trust her and that’s it for me with her. I let the friendship play off and now that I have a reason to want this to end, I’m telling my boyfriend he can’t be friends with her.

Thank-you for your replies… although I’m still hoping April will give me her input too. (hint hint)

[TheArtistsTechnique]

The only way you will trust him being around her is if you can get to know him. The fact that he won’t do that, seems sketchy. The fact that he’s jealous seems like he hasn’t let go of her, but she has let go of him. The bottom line is can you trust her? That’s what mostly matters. If you aren’t worried she will cheat on you, then who cares what that guy does or not, only what she does matters.

Your finance sounds like she just doesn’t want to loose him as a supportive person to lean on. She’s engaged to you so obviously you win when it comes to who she wants to be with.

[TheArtistsTechnique]

I’ve had a guy that was my friend for a couple of years and we hooked up. I told him I liked him and wanted to be with him and he just brushed it off. We had a weird relationship because he would hook up with me yet not want to be with me. I felt so used and rejected!

Stop being intimate with him. If he really wanted to be with you, he would. It’s harsh but true. This is why you don’t have relations with friends because you either could have an amazing relationship or you have nothing, not even the friendship, because the friendship will never be the same.

I’ve lost two male friends this way, we stopped talking and hanging out because once we started dating other people, our others didn’t like us being friends since we had been together sexually.

I suggest if you want to cut the emotional strings, don’t ever do anything intimate with him again, keep it strictly friends and start dating. Get someone else to occupy your mind.

Be friends with him but don’t be as close to him right now until your feelings fade. Don’t keep hanging out with him if it hurts you, you have other friends, hang out with them.

[TheArtistsTechnique]

Thanks for responding. Yes, I have always thought deep down they liked each other, but I thought I was just being jealous of their friendship because it was a girl. I decided not to ask him to cut ties, because I trust him. I also didn’t want to tell him to stop talking to her because I didn’t want him to resent me for telling him what to do and eventually leave me. We have been together for over a year and half and every other day and sometimes everyday, they text or call each other, about anything from getting together, funny stories, or needing advice. I feel that was too much and told him so, yet it continued anyway. When we were first dated dating, she would text him mean things about me, like digging up dirt on me because I’ve somewhat known her through college. Then she started to become my friend when she got a boyfriend, but she still was making fun of me when we were all hanging out and I would get jealous because my boyfriend would ignore me and mostly just talk to her. I have dealt with all of this and now she is actually causing us to fight and he’s standing up for her. I have just had it and I did tell him if he continues to be friends with her and her let her treat me like this, I would be gone. He told me he ended the friendship with her, but I still think she’s going to try to get him to be friends with her again and I’m afraid he will secretly be her friend. My boyfriend is friends with her boyfriend too so I know he’ll be upset if he has to cut ties with him as well. Her boyfriend and his female friend live together, so it’s going to be hard to trust that he won’t be seeing her too. Should I let him be friends with her boyfriend?
And yes, you hit the nail on the head with there is probably some attraction but she isn’t a long term girlfriend material for him so that’s why nothing happened. There friendship started because my boyfriend was friends with her brother, so they kinda knew each other and hangout through her brother. Her brother left for college and then they become more friends, and now he is more friends with her than he is with her brother, which is sketchy to me too. I do think there is attraction, but he has told me repeatedly that she is a nut and makes bad life decisions, so that is why I think he would never date her. She’s not the kind of girl I think he’s sees bringing home to the family or spending a lifetime together. Also, I’m very close to my boyfriend’s sister, we are like best friends, and my boyfriend’s sister hates this girl. My boyfriend is very close to his sister too so I know for sure, this female wouldn’t make it as apart of the family, like me.
One more part to this story my boyfriend was in a very serious relationship with another girl before me. His female friend didn’t like this girl and would get furious when he would hang out with her. My boyfriend would sneak around and still hang out with her and their other mutual friends and lie about where he had been. His female friend hated his ex and I feel she contributed to their break up. Ultimately I am afraid this could happen as well, since she has caused drama and gotten my boyfriend and I to fight with each other. How do I get her totally out of the picture without loosing him out of him feeling I’m been too controlling?
I’m really good to my boyfriend, always loyal, cooking, cleaning for him always, I’ve gotten into the things he is into, and I’m close to his family. I even told him I want to marry him. I’m three exams away from becoming a certified teacher and I told him once I start making money that I would support him to go back to school. I deserve better than this crap from his friend.

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