[islander0710]

April
He finally came over to talk after three weeks of no call.
It was a very mature and calm discussion. Initially he agreed to respect my wishes. Within 20 minutes our chemistry got in the way and he was doing and saying what he could to get back. I was strong and made light of it. We were able to sit and talk and joke as the friends we’ve always been.
We texted several times since then about regular days events. I am having a hard time dealing with the reality of losing my lover. I’ve never gone without sex and intimacy for over a few weeks in my entire adult life. In two days it will be one month of no sex.
I am eager to go thru this so my brain and body will see it can be done.
I know what needs to be done to work and prioritize me but I am in a funk.
My mind spends time on rationalizing why I shouldn’t start it up again. It’s very hard to stop the thinking.
I did cry the night after I saw him. I’m not sure if it was for him or the thought of not having the intimacy period.
I’m going to read your books and hopefully get some more tools to get me back on track. Thanks again.

[islander0710]

Thank you so much April.

He did contact me via text asking how I was doing. Then today texted me with a play by play on his days events and said he would like to talk. I said that he could call me anytime.

He has not called yet. I seriously doubt he will try again to make me “see the light” and start this up again. But if he should I will explain that I am not relationship material at this time. I have done much thinking and accept that I have projected a lot of fears onto him and assuming he will not be who I think he is should we make a go at a real committed relationship. Even if that is the case, meaning he would be good relationship material, the fact I still worry about it confirms that I am not ready.

Thank you so much this is a great service 🙂

[islander0710]

Almost same situation here except I ended the relationship with him. We clicked in every way, excellent communication, respect, so much fun. However I have some insecurity issues that he knows about and did not want to get involved with a committed relationship until I worked through them (going to counseling, recently divorced after 20+ marriage that I ended)
So I guess you can say we had a friends with benefits relationship between excellent friends that turned out to be a big surprise for both of us how well we were together. It was fantastic and there are NO regrets. He is amazing and feels the same way about me.

Since the breakup or my ending it, he has not made any contact with me on the matter. I know the business aspect is okay because we have exchanged at least one email specifically regarding a business matter just yesterday.

I dont want the relationship to start up again. I need more time. I have broken it off before and he always takes a few days then calls with a great mature conversation that eases me back and we start again. Each time getting stronger and stronger in our connection. Again, we are amazing together but I have anxiety/insecurity issues that consume me and I just am not ready. We never knew we would fall in such deep like for each other (honestly he may have known that he had desires for me but I never did all those years until one day it just happened)

He has not made contact regarding this matter.
Since I do not want the relationship to start again do I not mention it again until such time as he brings it up? Once I feel I have learned to deal with my issues I plan on calling him to give it a real try. Okay for me to tell him this IF or WHEN he ever brings it up?

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