[MAMJ]

Hi Smokey,

No he is not married. Single for almost 28 years. There is a lot of talk still and I remind him that talk is cheap. He says that he is trying to work on it because he is not good this stuff (relationships). He always says he has to step it up for me (whatever that means and if you can explain….please do). He is an entrepeneur so he has many things going on at once with business dealings and a major lawsuit. He is just starting up his seasonal business which takes up a lot of his time setting up booths, making business contracts, etc. I am very understanding and give him his space. Part of the problem is that I have not been able to tell him that I have feelings for him so I believe he is also holding back. My friends tell me I have to tell him my feelings so that we both stop miscommunicating and idling in this relationship. I am very scared of telling him that I would like to have a chance to show him that I am the woman he wants and needs in his life and that I believe he is what I want and need in a man – without scaring him away. I just don’t want to lose him. We take care of each other and we promised to be there for each other for the next 30 years or so. I can assure you that I don’t want to be only his friend for the next 30 years, but being great friends is the best foundation for a blossoming relationship. Ours is just starting to blossom. I know that he deeply cares for me. I hear it in his voice and I see it in his eyes. He is very tender with me. There is a lot of sexual inuendos (spelling?) between us and we are starting to get a little bit more physical. Can you tell me how to tell him my feelings so that he hears me, respects me and can let me know where he stands and what are his feelings and where he would like to see our relationship go? I want to marry this man and spend the 2nd half of our lives working on improving our relationship. Thanks.

[MAMJ]

Hi Malia,
As a woman, I wouldn’t put up with the boyfriend’s disrespect and dirty mouth. A real man knows how to treat a lady…he should always be respectful, courteous and a gentleman. In your case…and I am no expert..but I would be afraid of being the person on her rebound. It seems you are good to be careful and not cross that line by keeping your relationship on a “friendship” basis and not physical. I would caution you not to get more involved with her during the breakup time only because it could ruin a great friendship. If you can wait until June 2010 and maintain a friendship it might just lead into the romantic relationship you are looking for. And, if she takes up with another fella right away, don’t fret…he might just be the rebound guy…then she will be ready when you make your move. Good luck!!

[Member]

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