[kezara]

Hi again April,

Thanks for your msg and support. He claims he has Behcet Syndrome, which I made him show me on the net, I spelt it wrong in my search so it didnt come up. It does exist, with the symptoms he had, and he said I could meet his dr to clarify he has it. Hopefully that is all it is he has, I guess I will know in 3 months. Behcet’s is not contagious. But anyways he is moving 6 hours away for another job next month so that works out well. If I was true to myself and my values I wouldnt have ever got intimate with him in the first place as he is still legally married and is not my type physically (the attraction is only emotional, and that is not enough, particularly for anything lasting). We basically have been friends with benefits, never boyfriend-girlfriend, and I made it clear I wasnt his gf yesterday when he told someone I was the other day. I guess I got involved with him because at 35, I am increasingly doubting I will ever meet a man who is truly my type; they all are either not my type emotionally, physically or both…seems all the good ones my age are taken. Are there any other women out there (particularly women in their 30s and 40s) who end up “settling” for someone they dont really fancy because you dont think you will meet the one perfect for you? Be interested in hearing your thoughts. I guess you kiss a lot of frogs b4 you meet your prince as they say. Anyways live and learn. It’s better to be single and true to yourself than be with the wrong person I think (but easier said than done). It’s just lonely sometimes, as I travel for work I never meet single men my age who are my type…doubt I ever will, not in this country anyway, dont fancy many Australian men. Luckily my biological clock is not ticking, just would love to meet someone who fits what I want as a life long companion. Would be nice to hear other member’s thoughts….been plenty of views.

[kezara]

Thank you April for your reply. I feel stupid and embarrassed, it sometimes takes someone else’s perspective to really see things how I should. Firstly, all my tests came back negative, thank goodness. The dr recommended I get another blood test in 3 months to be sure, which I will. When he returned I told him I went for tests and have been stressed and asked him why he ignored me when I pointed out the blisters. He said he didnt hear me and has had a condition for many years caused by food allergies called partial bajet syndrome that occassionally causes blisters or ulcers on the 2 most sensitive parts of his body-his penis and in his mouth. I was dubious whether or not to believe him so looked up partial bajet syndrome with various spellings and it does not exist!! I told him on Friday we would not be having sex again and I wanted him to show me written results of a thorough std test which he agreed, but now I am worried again (abt herpes) as he obviously lied. I will confront him about that tonight, will be interesting to see how he explains his way out of this one!

We were/are living together as just housemates then we got involved after I met some of his friends and family and confirmed his marriage has been over for a year and she is staying overseas permanently, but as he is still legally married I never should have gone there, I never have been intimate with a married man before, seperated or not, it is not the right thing to do. I am not feeling good about it. I will be moving out shortly. If he can produce clear test results we may stay friends, who knows.

Thanks again April for your thoughts and advice.

[Member]

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