[timd84]

Done and done.

I’ve taken your advice and the distraction is taken care of. Little uncomfortable but very necessary. Thanks for hanging in there with me while I got my emotions in check.

Ever since we had children I’ve been seeing her, as she’s been seeing herself, primarily as a mother. Our marriage took a back seat and I guess we forgot it was there. We both became complacent, let our marriage deteriorate and I never honestly pressed her for a change until just recently; I believe she can change.

I’ll take a few months following your instructions and will be sure to report back.

Thanks for keeping me on track.

-Looking for a peace

[timd84]

Wow.
Thank you April and Yvonne for your thoughtful replies. You both are the outside perspectives I needed.

I agree April, she may be playing games with me or I may be reading too far into her friendliness; either way, I’ll get hurt and hurt others if I engage in any relationship without making decisions in the one I’m in first. But that’s logic talking and we know what I’m dealing with is emotion. My entire marriage, until now, I have never viewed another woman as something I desired. I would be lying to you ladies if I told you I have no desire for her still. What do I need to do to get her out of my mind? I’ve already declined a lunch once with her and, after 5 minutes, began to brood over why I didn’t go to lunch with her. Please understand, without considerable effort applied in the correct way I may stay infatuated with her; i do understand this is infatuation at this stage and it too will pass.

Remember how I told you I passed on our lunch together? Well she just texted me asking if I’m okay. Even though she’s in a relationship, I’m not daft. I can tell she is in someway drawn to me; making it even more difficult to straighten this all out. I’m still very attracted to her as well.

Enough with the office distractions. Let’s talk about my marriage.

My wife and I were in love. I felt it. Once you got past all of those different stages of what you think love is, you finally arrive there. I think it’s somewhere between looking past their faults and doing their laundry. I understand she wants to change her life but I feel deep down that the damage is so deep. To put this in guy emotion, I don’t know if my love for her surpasses the hurt she inflicted. But I find my love for my children makes me strong enough to do anything. But do I stay strictly for my children? Is that fair to myself? Is thinking about myself selfish here?

Should I spend anymore time thinking or act upon my current impulse?
I don’t want to sit around and get analysis paralysis but this situation is pretty heavy.

-Looking for peace

[Member]

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