We’ve been together for a year and a half (two years in November). I actually broke up with him last summer because i couldn’t handle our age difference. Then I felt like I made a mistake. I’m a pretty stable guy with a good income, job stability and a nice home. I’ve suffered from depression for years but, since we’ve been together, I’m not as depressed. When I get depressed, I bounce out of it fairly quickly. Both of us are pretty independent, get along well (lots of laughter) and compliment each other in our abilities.
I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining. I’m 46 with a young guy that loves me. But some days I don’t feel anything for him. I’m afraid to let go of the relationship because I don’t think I can find anyone better, who has the qualities and character he has. I also don’t want to be alone and i feel that no one else wants me. Is that settling?
He tells me all the time he’s happy I have low-self esteem because if I knew how attractive I was I’d go find someone else. I realize I’m not unattractive, but I’ve dated attractive guys in the past that ultimately only wanted sex. That’s not my scene. I’m a family man with pretty strong values.
Is there such a thing as true love? Is it unreasonable to want to find someone closer to my age, income and education level that is also attractive and has all of his qualities? Is it unreasonable to want to have butterflies with someone you love?
I’m feeling unfulfilled in the relationship and I don’t know what to do.
