[Moonatic]

dear april,
sry for not replying sooner, but i just wanted to see, how things between the guy and me would develop.

so, after i confronted him with the facts a couple of times, he admitted he has got debts, he is trying to pay now.

we have met a couple of times (he wants to see me every day, but i only have time at the weekends. plus, i also want to meet friends at the weekends….so i see him about once or twice a week).
he also textes me every day (from 9 a.m. till he goes to bed.)

on the other hand, when we meet, he doesnt try to kiss me, touch me or anything. i once even slept at his place but he didnt even try to cuddle.
so i asked him, why he behaves like that (sending sweet flirty messages, taking me out for dinner and even making plans for new years eve with me, but not telling me, what he wants).
he said, he really likes me, but
1. the fact that i had really bad experiences with guys in the past, made him feel insecure.
2. he wants to be sure, we have the same morals, same interests, etc…..so the relationship would work out.
(somehow thats my mistake….i told him, that if another guy was going to break my heart, i would need a psychologist).

the thing i am wondering about now is, that this could also be an excuse…..i think it could be possible, he is still into his ex-girlfriend. for e.g. he doesnt want to take me to places, she is the same night. another thing is, that he started commenting on my faceb.. wall…. in the beginnning those comments were shown on his wall, but after a couple of weeks he changes his privacy settings, so no one can see them anymore.
i also told him, i am wondering if he was still into his ex (although he never talks about her, unleast i am asking). he told me, that he was not into her anymore and that they are not in contact. (dont know wether to believe this or not).

cann you give me some advice? what do you think about the situation?

[Moonatic]

i also think he could be a narcissist…i read a lot about it and its usually very hard to tell wether someone has this kind of disorder or not…..how can i make that sure?

[Moonatic]

sry, i forgot to tell you tel plan……the plan is to finish studying in germany (because i still go to university here and at his location it would be too expensive)…after i will have finished studying (which still takes about 2 years) he wanted to move in together with me. unfortunately, he didnt call me yet from his holiday in turkey 🙁

[Moonatic]

his behavior has changed a little since we are together again: he came for a secret visit (he didnt tell his family, he was in germany, which he has never done before. he came just to see ME. he tells me, that he wants to live together with me and that he loves me very very much and he wants to go (and pay) on vacation with me, when i will visit him in september. by “taking his air away” he means, that i controlled him too much..asking questions like “who went with you to the party, checking him out on facebook, who was sitting next to you,etc”. i also was leeching on him (text messaging him a lot, wanting him to call me every day)….that made him feel like in a cage, he told me. well today he is going to turkey to visit some of his relatives….he told me that he will go for a couple of days to a party place far away from his relatives location. (with one of his friends from germany who is also on vacation there.)

[Moonatic]

so my bf and i are “back on track”. in the past i used to spy on him on f****book a lot. now he can do there what he wants…unfortunately i am pretty sure, he is flirting there with other women 🙁 i also asked him about it and he said, he was not flirting with anyone and if i dont stop controlling him, he will break up with me again. there are several signs, he is flirting with other women…somehow i can understand him, because the conversations we had always ended in a fight….since i know, he is flirting there with other women, i gave up to ask him abuot it….because he wouldnt tell the truth anyways….. i am scared, he wants to meet another woman secretly in person now (when he comes to germany for a visit). in the beginning of our relationship he also wanted to meet another gilr and flirted with others online…..he stopped that, when i caught him and promised me to never ever do that again. i think he is maybe not quite sure, wether our relationship is going to last (because of those fights during our last conversations). so my question is: how can i make him stop doing that? will he ever stop doing it?
the last two days were really nice and yesterday he told me on the phone that he loves me a lot (i hope he means it).

[Moonatic]

i am 24 and he is 30.

[Member]

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