[Mr Man]

[quote=”April Masini”]
My advice is to let go.[/quote]

Hi April,

Thanks so much for your thoughts and advice, I really appreciate it.

I don’t think I’m ready to let go just yet. It would be different if I had wronged her in a way that she couldn’t forgive or if she simply didn’t love me, but she’s clearly in an erratic state at the moment. One night she’s wholeheartedly telling me how much she loves, misses and wants to marry me, and two nights later is breaking up with me while saying she still loves me. This time last week she was saying things like ‘please don’t leave me, I can’t lose you’. It just doesn’t make sense, to her just as much as me. I must admit, I almost feel confident she can’t live without me and won’t let me slip away; do you think I’m being silly or blind for thinking this?

Regarding family/ culture: Again, this time last week she was saying that she can’t wait to introduce me to her family, ‘my mum will love you!’. Yes, we’re being secretive about our relationship at the moment, but she was always fairly confident that her family would accept, approve and like me when introduced to them under the right circumstances. And again, I’m sure the family/ culture issue isn’t a conscious reason for breaking up with me- if it was, she’d have definitely told me.

It’s interesting what you said about us not seeing each other for the past few months. I have to admit, I think if we had met up last week, even for just a day out, we wouldn’t be where we are now.

[Mr Man]

[quote=”Tango10″][color=#4080FF]Hi…sounds to me like she’s very confused. [/color][/quote]

Hi there,

thanks for your thoughts. Well, she’s not getting pressure from the family regarding boyfriends or anything like that, but things aren’t easy for her at home. She gets a lot of stick from her mum and that has been upsetting her recently, which is possibly a contributing factor.

Her ex-boyfriend lives in Iran and he’s pretty much just left her alone now, so I don’t think he’s pressuring her. Although, she said that, at times, she’s been thinking about him and feels like she’s misses him – although she hates him and would never want to be with him. Is that normal??? It sounds like she’s still traumatised to me, which I think is understandable.

I agree with you, people don’t just change their mind about someone that much and that quickly unless something has happened between them. Certainly nothing bad has happened between us. We have minor arguments at times, but generally we have a mature relationship and communicate very well. She texted me last night when I was in bed saying ‘you’re the only real man I’ve ever known, I don’t regret anything’ with you’.

I know she still loves me, it’s just so strange.

[Mr Man]

[quote=”April Masini”]How old are you both? What are the cultural differences you mentioned that keep you apart?[/quote]

Hi there,

Thanks for your reply. She’s 19, I’m 25. She’s Persian, I’m white. The cultural problem is with her family and has never been an issue that damages our personal relationship. It might cause a bit of friction in the long run, say if we ever got married, but keeping our relationship a secret from her family has never bothered either of us that much. On the contrary to it being a stressful part of the relationship, we found it kind of fun keeping it a secret!

[Member]

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