Thanks for your advice, it does help to look at it from a different point of view. This whole situation is just so messed up in so many ways. I have no problem with anyone, i told him plenty of times i welcome the baby, I even bought little gifts for the baby for the holidays. I am in my mid 20’s and ofcourse my ideal partner is not a single parent, when we met he did not have kids but right before we met, he met some girl and decided to have a kid with her, this is something 2 strangers decided while they knew they’d be living 1000 miles away and he never wanted to be with her. He’s in his mid 30’s and really loves kids but I dont understand what kind of people are these? Wouldnt u want a family and kids? not just a random kid from a random person not even anyone you love. This is so hard to deal with, after we have been together for 6-7months this baby was born. Yes, I did expect to be a full part of this whole thing, I was shocked to find out I cant come and even more shocked to find out he was afraid to bring me up to her. He did later on but still . The reason me and him are not living together is because I want to make sure this will not be a problem for me. He has already talked to me about starting a family, getting engaged, he wants kids and a family with me but Im very scared. He says the baby’s mother wont ever be a problem but this is already the 2nd trip and if I cant be involved I never will be.
I have no kids so if we stay together, I dont wanna be 8-9months pregnant about to give birth and find out he has to go away all of a sudden cuz his child has a cold. you know? I want the family and children but i want it to be as special to my partner as it is to me. When me and my partner have a child, I do not want anyone to come before this child and i dont know if that will be possible with him, especially when he does not even try to include me and its already his kid’s 1st bday. I dont know what else to do.
