When you become a parent, your child has to come first — before your relationship with anyone else. So I’d encourage you to put your focus on what’s best for you son. Whenever you’re considering doing something, ask yourself if what you’re about to do is good for your son. If it’s not, don’t do it.
Since your son’s father is an addict, you have to really understand a few things about addicts. They can be wonderful people with great attributes, but their relationship with their substances [i]alway[/i]s comes first. Until they have a stable history with their addiction, it’s very difficult for them to have stable relationships with other people.
Your ex boyfriend is right — that you should work out your legal issues with your son together first, and then, if there’s peace and stability, only then, should you consider dating again. So go to court together, if possible — and separately if not. Get a visitation and support schedule signed off by the court, and stick to it. It’s important for your son that his father does the right thing, so do your part in allowing for that relationship. 😉
If things go well, co-parenting, for about six months to a year, then consider dating again — if your ex is interested. But don’t mistake sex for love. I know you want to feel loved, but just because a guy has sex with you doesn’t mean he loves you — even if he once did. Focus on parenting for now, get your life in order legally, and then, work out your social and romantic relationship with this ex. 🙂
Hope that helps!
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