[brvail711]

ive been with my boyfriend for about ten months and had a issue i wanted to ask. about two weeks ago i saw him at a bar with his friend well i ended up staying at my boyfriends house. (which we got intimate) the next morning was like every other day. i havent talked to him since that morning. he said hed talk to me later and i had texted him a few days later to have him stay the night. he said that “its not going to happen.im done with everything and everyone.” well now my boyfriend has always been able to talk to me when he had a problem. he ask always has been honest. now all of a sudden he isnt talking to me and wont respond to me. i am his first real serious relationship since his ex-wife. i am so confused and dont know how to get him to talk to me. he had sent me a few texts but just short and blunt. i do have my camera and key at his house and was planning on heading over there tomorrow to get my stuff. i just dont know how to go about it. do i call and let him know? then thing is is that i want him to talk to me even if he does want to end it i just need to know why and whats going on. its bugging the crap out of me that he cant talk to me about this. i dont know if he is scared since we are serious or what? i need to get him to open up to me and own up to how hes treating me. do you have any advice? i mean hes never done anything like this and i am just confused and frustrated. how do i get him to tell me whats going on? can you help? thank you

[witch_goddess]

I think you should let your boyfriend understand that with his no talking policy to you bugs and upsets you. If you know his daily routines say when is he going to be vacant, then grab that opportunity to talk with him heartily. Express your feelings over the situation and clear things out. It seems like your boyfriend is avoiding you for an apparent reason, which I do not have the full idea on what is the real score that happens between the two of you.

This issue won’t be settled if your bf doesn’t want to talk with you, hence encourage him to talk so that you won’t be upset and troubled anymore.

Hope everything will turn out for the better.

[brvail711]

thank you so much. the weird thing is is that i have my camera and key there and if hes done i mean hey thats fine i just want to know why. i called him to let him know i wanted my stuff but i didnt want it outside his or my house and to call me when he is home. he hasnt responded and if he doesnt tomorrow im just going over to his house to get to the bottom of this. the thing is knowing who he is he is always honest and clear. and if he wanted to end this he wouldve said im done or we are done. You know? thank you for your help.

[April Masini]

Well, something’s up! My guess is that even after dating this guy for 10 months, you didn’t get to know all of his facets, and this part of him is troublesome. It certainly sounds like he broke up with you and he did it very clumsily. It’s a really impolite way to break up, but it is, at the end of the day, a break up.

If you haven’t seen him in 2 weeks, and his texts are just blunt and emotionless, I think he’s done.

What I would caution you to avoid is trying to make him do something he doesn’t want to do just because [i]you[/i] want it. I know [i]you[/i] want a reasonable explanation. You want a civil break up. But this isn’t who [i]he[/i] is. I don’t think you’re going to get what you want, and while it’s hard to accept someone you’ve been intimate with could be such a philistine, his blunt break up may be able to help you move on. Don’t spend a lot of time trying to extract an explanation from him.

Don’t show up at his house without calling or getting an okay from him to do so, but do be very firm that you want your camera and your key back and that’s it. He may not want you to come over because he thinks you want to “talk.” If he knows it’s just to get your things, he may be more open to the idea. If he won’t deal with you, have a friend or family member get it for you. And if that doesn’t work, have him mail the items to you.

And move on. Sometimes when a person is so unreasonable, it can make moving on easier.

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