[col]

So what I did this weekend was completly not a normal situation for me, and I think that why it’s eating me up and stressing me out so bad.
So this guy asked me to hang out sometime roughly 3 weeks ago. We have “hung” out (not a date) had a few drinks at the bar and watched a movie at his house. and we continuely talk during the week on a maybe everyother day average. We have never talked about a relationship status between us or heck if were seeing each other.
So point of my story. I hung out with some friends this weekend and ended up hooking up with another guy friend of mine. Sexual and everything. I live in a small town so news is totally going to get around. So friends are telling me that guy number 1 is going to be pretty upset when he hears about it. But I am not sure about that, we’ve only hung out a couple of times. Since were not “technically” dating can this wreck the possibility of us getting to know each other more? I don’t want to justify what I did I just am not really sure how to approach it. Do I tell him up front hey I hung out with another guy this weekend, “just wanted to let you know before you hear it through the grapevine”? or do I not since I don’t even know if he’s told anyone we’ve been hanging out? I would really like to get to know guy number one and have a chance with him, and I suppose it goes to say if I really liked him I wouldn’t of hooked up with anyone else.. I guess I was totally out of my element and didn’t see what I was doing as wrong. Maybe more like a friends with benefit kind of thing.. What would you do/or say about this situation? Any help would be extremely appreciated. I am thinking now I should maybe ask if we can chat in the next couple of days, tell him about it, and leave him to make a decision?

[ThinkingRight]

As a guy I strongly recommend that you[b] [i]do not[/i][/b] say anything to thing guy if you are sincere about wanting to establish something meaningful with him. I don’t know of any guy that wants to be with someone everyone else has been with. I’m not saying that you have been with everyone else, but the impression will be that you have sex with anyone and everyone easily if you’re having sex with guys you’re not in a relationship with. Even if this was a one time thing, he’s never gong to believe that. I wouldn’t.

On a separate note, guys want to respect their girlfriends. They don’t have serious relationships with girls they do not respect. If you want this guy or any guy for that matter to respect you — respect yourself.

I can’t imagine why you would have sex with some guy you’re not interested in when you’re interested in someone else, especially in a small town where you know that everyone is going to talk and the guy you [i][b]say[/b][/i] you like is very likely to find out. Weird stuff!

[col]

I complelty see where your coming from. And yes it was a one time thing. When I am in a relationship with someone I am faithful, thats why i am so torn about this. This is not a normal me thing. 😀 But hey we all make mistakes in life and this is one that I will learn from.
And as far as in a small town and not wanting everyone to know. I don’t see how anyone can do that either, let alone sitting here believing I was one of those people.
Thank you for answering my post. I really appreciate it. 🙂

[relation]

If you really want to take your relationship to a long way, then reveal the truth. If your Guy is a mature person then he should understand that it is normal for a human being to make mistakes.

All said and done, you should not repeat such a mistake in the future…

[April Masini]

First of all, you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re free to date whomever you want, since you’re not really in a relationship with anyone.

If the guy you’ve hung out with is upset that you hooked up with someone else, that’s his problem. He can’t claim you without even asking you out for a first date! You didn’t cheat on him. You’re playing the field. If he doesn’t understand that, he’s not boyfriend material.

That said, I can’t tell you if this ruined your chances with him or not, because I don’t know if his hearing you hooked up with someone else is going to make him suddenly uninterested. But it may make him rise to the competition and want to make you his own, rather than share you. Sometimes guys need a little competition to make them step up their game.

I would not advise you making the first move with this guy, however. He knows where you are. He knows how to reach you. If he wants to ask you out on a date, he most likely knows how to do it. If you do run into him or see him around, you can be flirty and available, but don’t throw yourself at him. Make him work for the date — his reward will be all the sweeter for the challenge.

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