[embruce]

I like a guy who is a really good friend of mine and i go to uni with him, not just like; i am crazy in love with him… but I’m sure he doesn’t see me in that way. Recently another friend of mine told me about a conversation a few of the guys were having were my name came up and they agreed that they thought i liked this guy (the one i do like) and he told them he wasn’t interested… and i pretty much came to that conclusion anyway because of the way he acts. I have confided in him too much, and he is way out of my league, i can see why he doesn’t like me, probably thinks I am a crazy person. anyway so here is the dilemma:

do I
a) do nothing, although i am worried that if i don’t say anything that he will try to make it clear to me that he doesn’t like me (because he thinks i don’t know…) and this will damage the friendship.

b) Lie to him, tell him I know he thinks I like him, but its not true, i only like him as a friend thats all, and even if i did like him i wouldn’t think that he liked me anyway…

or c) tell him the truth, tell him i do have strong feelings for him but I can’t help it, i have tried really hard to stop liking him, and that i know he doesn’t feel the same way so he doesn’t need to bother trying to let me know that by the way he acts or making up a fake girlfriend (an idea one of his friends had to get me to back off a bit).

which option will be the least damaging to our friendship?

[April Masini]

I lean towards “a”, but with I think there’s something even more important here… I’m afraid that if you continue to hang out with this guy, you will continue to harbor feelings and long for a relationship that will never be.

I realize this is not what you want to hear, however I think that it’s in your best interest to [b]stop hanging out with him.[/b] My suggestion is that you change your habits and start opening yourself up to meeting new people — and specifically men. The best way to eliminate the awkward feeling you have around him, as well as the (potential) pressure he may be feeling, is for you to start dating other guys. Once the focus is no longer on him things will become easier for both of you.

More important than that, you sound like a terrific young woman! And terrific woman are worth something. It’s time for you to move on and to find a guy who values you for the great date and girlfriend you can be! You deserve a great boyfriend (or a great date), not just someone who only likes you as a friend despite the fact that you

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