[glam0927]

It sounds like you’re in a seemingly unbalanced relationship. You’re giving her all that you’ve got.. she’s taking it and giving you nothing in return. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man with a spine, honestly. You need to stand up for yourself. Have a sit-down, let her know what’s going on and how it’s made you feel. Than simply tell her what YOU want and what YOU need. You may lose her and that may just be what you need. You’ll meet someone else, promise.

[glam0927]

What you need to do is move on because this is clearly not your scene in this point in your life. However I think it’s appalling for you to expect this man to do anything less than be a father to those children. They’re his kids! He should be held responsible for the children he helped bring into this world. It’s unfortunate that one of the “baby mama”s has become a nuisance. There should be limits and he should absolutely put his foot down if her calls and her dropping by has become unnecessary and incessant. However.. he’s right about one thing, she’s the mother of his child so she sort of comes with the package. These are things that I can’t imagine him hiding from you in the beginning. Hopefully next time you walk if not run in the other direction next time someone you are seeing informs you he has young children.

[glam0927]

It sounds like to me you’ve really hit it off with this guy.. I don’t see what the problem is. Unless of course you are a minor! As long as that’s not the case I would continue to take it slow and see where it goes. Your older brother is friends with him so if he was a sleeze I doubt your big bro would be cool with him crushing on his little sis. As far as the age difference is concerned, I’ve always believed (and I think there’s a lot of people who can back me up on this one) that men mature much slower than women do. For a lot of women dating men 8 to 10 years older is very necessary in order to really connect on an intellectual level. It’s just one of the many differences between men and women. So like I said tread slowly and have fun while your at it.. he seems like a great guy.

Best of luck!

[glam0927]

Christine.. 8 years is a VERY long time to be with someone and not be married! Unless marriage is something two people in a relationship BOTH agree is not in the cards for them and are both happy with that decision.

However you mention marriage to be something you do want. So what exactly are you waiting for? The man can treat you like gold but if he is not ready to make a commitment after 8 years he will never make it. On the upside of things this man does not seem to treat you like gold..from the little you have told us about him. So this decision shouldnt be all that difficult for you.

Love is blind like you said but it sounds like to me you (more than likely both of you ) have gotten way too comfortable in a relationship neither of you are truly happy in.

Now it’s time to make a clean break, be honest with him.. If he really loves you maybe this is the wake up call he’s been needing. Next be honest with Christine and make a promise with yourself to never comprimise your needs for anyone again.

I hope it works out for you..sincerely.

[glam0927]

Okay I hate to be the one to break this to you but men LOVE a challenge. Like many women do as well(maybe this is why the guys got you goin’ gaga) You are not and have not given him the opportunity to “hunt” you.. and truthfully you gave it uo too soon.. I know it sucks..consider it a lesson, move on and get yourself the book “why Men Love Bitches”. Itll do you a world of good. Im not sure if April has a relationship book for women but if she does GET IT! Once you know the game youll be the one calling shots.

Hope this helps..

[glam0927]

I always find this to be an interesting topic… So I felt compelled to reply to this one. This concept- “nice guys finish last” happens to be just one of the many things that don’t always make perfect sense and for some people it feels downright backwards. You’re taught from birth to do good to others and to treat people the way you want to be treated. So why on Earth are women more attracted to men who don’t always play nice?! Well, it’s called human nature. Humans (notice I say Humans, not women… it absolutely goes both ways) get thrill from hunt and challenge. When something is given to you too easy- A) The value is diminished B) The excitement,passion if you will is just not there. Men are just as thrill thirsty as women are. In fact you can pose the same question for men.. “Why do men love Bitches?!” As complex as you would think the answer to that question might be,it’s actually very simple. Both men and women seek a partner that makes them feel alive, vibrant..passion! Nothing is more alive than a little bit of a challenge.

However I would like to clarify, when we say nice guy this does not mean that if you don’t have a criminal record of some sort or beat up on women that you just won’t cut it! To me the difference is confidence. A man who knows his self-worth, knows what he wants and how to get it. He won’t get walked on by a women because he knows what he has to offer and that he could be with a women who has the same offer.

I’d bet you look for some of the same qualites in a woman…

Just my 2cents..

[glam0927]

Well Im no April but I thought I would offer you advice anyway.. I was 18 once too and relationships at that age can be very confusing. (they’re not much less confusing now! Experience makes it a little easier to understand) Now I hate to sound… unsympathetic, but it sounds to me like your boyfriend may have some personal issues that are beyond you. In my opinion I think it’s selfish of him to make you feel inadequate or immature for not being more understanding. In life you won’t always have the answer.. whether it be your mate, your friend, or one day your child searching for the solution. Sometimes the best help you can offer is a shoulder to lean on. This speaks volumes on its own. It’s not your fault that you cannot relate to his “adult” concerns. Chances are it has nothing to do with your age either. Like I said before I think your boyfriend has personal issues that can only be dealt with on his own. If it’s serious perhaps he should consider seeing a professional. Let him know that you care about him and that you want to be there for him in his time of need.
For your own personal well-being it’s important to let him know that while you want to be there for him, it’s unfair for him to make you feel like your letting him down because you don’t have the magic bullet that will solve all of his problems.

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