[lolhaha]

I have 2 questions for you.

1) A few months ago I (22) replied to an ad on craigslist in the casual encounters section. She (21) was looking for some “fun” but for the past few months we’ve been emailing each other now we exchanged numbers and we’re texting. I’m a virgin, and she’s very experienced in sex (so she says). When with her ex she said she had sex 2-5 times a week which is making nervous about doing it with her, even though she says it turns her on that I’m a virgin and she’ll have to teach me. Now I don’t know this girl but I know OF her thanks to facebook. I know her account is legit for sure. And looking at her profile I learned some information about her and there are some things she lied about and some things she told the truth. I know a woman will not give away all truthful information considering I’m an online guy she doesn’t know. Would she lie about her sexual experiences or is she being honest?

2) We’ve been talking about what we want and she does not want to date someone from online, but she wants to have sex with someone online. Which I feel is worse. Not sure where she’s going with this but she wants to do this cause it’s something different for her and she feels like it be fun. Now I always envisioned myself having sex with someone special while in a committed relationship, so I’m not too fund of having sex this way but I have an opportunity here. I’m 22 and realizing that I’m not going to find a woman that is looking for someone special as well and even a virgin. Should I go through with this to remove the virgin tag off me and get some experience?

Thank you so much with your help and advice.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Would she lie about her sexual experiences or is she being honest?[/quote]

You met her on craigslist, and you already figured out she lied about some things. Expect her to have lied about others, as well. I don’t know her, and neither do you, so don’t expect honesty — especially from someone you’re meeting in this way.

[quote]Should I go through with this to remove the virgin tag off me and get some experience?[/quote]

I don’t think you should go through with this because you’ve indicated you find that what she’s doing is distasteful and you’re concerned about her character since you asked me about her honesty. I know you’re worried about being a 22 year old virgin, but you’re absolutely not alone, and I think you’re trying to avoid feelings of awkwardness that are just part of life. My advice is to allow yourself to feel awkward in a relationship with someone who you meet in real life — not on the internet. Part of feeling awkward together is getting to know each other, and when you get through these awkward moments, whether it’s a first date, or the first time having sex, you gain experience that is invaluable, and creates real intimacy with someone else, and that’s the glue in relationships! 😉

There are plenty of women in their early 20s who would love to date you, and who are either virgins, themselves, or who will not care if you’re a virgin or not — and if they do, certainly not enough for that fact to be a relationship deal breaker. So, face your fears, and try dating someone so you get to know them — socially, emotionally, and yes, romantically and sexually — in spite of feelings of awkwardness. And if you need some encouragement, go watch any romantic comedy and you’ll see that the best love stories with a chuckle are all based on these awkward moments in life that lead to mutual feelings of love and intimacy. And if that doesn’t convince you, consider the fact that this woman on craigslist may be married with a very angry and jealous husband, have a sexually transmitted disease or may be some type of criminal. In other words — you don’t know anything about her because you’re considering sex without the dating process. Reconsider, and go for dating first, sex next.

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