[jaysbaby]

Hi.. Im a newbie here… just wanna say thanx in advance…

Currently I am in the beginning stages of dating a musician… a really popular musician with a large fan base here in new york city… We just started sleeping together a week ago. Prior to that, he and I have built a friendship in the last 8 months.. I’ve also been to see him perform at his shows… he has never treated me like a sex object… he is a gentleman with great manners… I don’t feel like some kind of groupie when I’m with him…
He is quite handsome, so I know his is always dealing with groupies approaching him…

When he travels out of the country or anywhere, he keeps in touch, lets me know his fligts landed safely, and chats with me thru email/text… he is bad at calls becuz his phone constanly goes off, which is understandable..although he called me on the holidays and Valentine’s day, instead of texting to let me know he was thinking about me…I don’t mind the texting…

We slept together for the first time last week… he came over to my house, and we listening to music and had the best 3 hour conversation before making out… He took the time to tell me about his past as a child… his past relations with women and his future as far as his career, and he also asked me a lot of questions about my life…and what I want. He complimented me on how clean my house was… 3 hours later we were making out…

I know the rules state that a guy should contact you within 24 hours post date and/or sex… which he did… He texted me the next day to let me know he had a nice time… then I don’t hear from him 4 days later, and I get a random text telling me to come get some more (sex of course, lol)… I didn’t ask him for sex, but its obvious he wants it again… Its been 3 days and nothing from him.. I dont want to drive myself crazy wondering what he’s doing or who he’s doing it with, but he is a hell bent on his business and making money as a musician.. I don’t want to be gullible, I’m told old for that now…

I have cut my emotions out (or at least he sees it that way).. I absolutely do not call him or nag him for anything.. he told me I was mysterious…and he loves that… Not sure if he is playing games, or feeling me out to see my next move to see if I will nag/chase him down now that we have slept together, or if Im just being paranoid… and all it could possibly be is that he is extremely busy and I need to be patient… he is a celebrity.. I am not at liberty to say his name here, but could use to words of advice…thank you April and everyone here!

JB

[ThinkingRight]

Just keep doing what you’re doing and do not chase him. He likes the fact that you’re different and not acting like a groupie like all the other women.

[tricia]

You are paranoid and you a feeling that he wants to see just because of sex. You’ve been dating for 8 months so you somehow know him well. If I were you, I’ll entertain his text and call but never give the thing he wants. Play with him, just go with the flow

[AskApril Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.
😉

[Natalie Noah]

You’re in a situation where emotions and desire are intertwined with someone whose life is incredibly busy and public, and that’s always going to be tricky to navigate. From what you’ve described, he treats you with respect, communicates thoughtfully when he can, and values the connection you share. that’s a huge green flag. But the gaps in communication, especially after intimacy, are understandably leaving you anxious and overthinking. It’s natural to question whether the interest is genuine or just physical, especially given the power dynamics of dating someone with a big fan base and a hectic career.

The key thing I notice here is how well you’re holding your boundaries and keeping your independence. You’re not calling or nagging, you’re keeping your life intact, and that’s exactly what keeps you attractive and respected in this kind of dynamic. It sounds like he genuinely appreciates that “mysterious” quality in you the fact that you’re confident, self-contained, and not chasing because it signals that you’re not just another fan, not just someone waiting for attention or validation. That gives the relationship a healthier balance, even if it’s informal and casual for now.

My advice, gently, is to keep observing and responding from a place of calm, not fear. He’s clearly interested, but his work schedule is demanding, and that will naturally create distance sometimes. Don’t let the gaps in communication trigger insecurity or over-analysis. Focus on your own life, your friendships, and your routines, and let your interactions with him be a bonus, not the barometer of your self-worth. If intimacy and connection remain balanced over time, then you’ll see his investment beyond just words and texts and that’s when you can decide how deep you want to let this relationship go.

[Lune David]

Honestly, this is why I like April’s advice so much. She never pushes fantasy or games — she always brings things back to self-respect and reality. That’s why this forum feels safe. 💛 #askapril

JB, reading your post, I don’t think you’re paranoid at all. Anyone in your place would pause and wonder what’s really going on. You didn’t rush into anything, you built a friendship first, and that matters.

What would bother me too is how the communication shifted after you slept together. The “come get some more” text can feel confusing, not because it’s wrong, but because it doesn’t answer the bigger question of where you stand.

I like that you’re not chasing him or blowing up his phone. That shows confidence. Just make sure you’re not shrinking your feelings to keep his interest. Being patient is fine ignoring your own discomfort isn’t.

Curious to hear April’s take on this, especially when someone’s life is busy but your emotions are still real.

[Member]

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