[newgirl08]

okay so me and my boyfriend had a very natural and special bond. everything just worked for us. before we started dating, he told me he thought this girl liked him. nd he told me a little bit into the relationship that he used to like her the year prior. he started a new sport this year, and she is on the team. I started getting very jealous. He talked to her all the time, and one day she told him she didnt want to talk to him in class bc she had a headache and was being mean and he texted her. he didnt text me that day (at school). That same day she walked past me in the cafeteria and walked straight up to him and started talking to him. It started getting suspicious but i knew he would never cheat on me. This past wednesday he asked for a break bc of my lack of trust. He called me crying that night begging for me back, and told me how much he loved me. He always told me that he loved me and that i was unlike any girl he has ever met. Thursday, he made us a relationship page on facebook by adding pictures and stuff. then friday he told me he lost feelings and that he think it be best if we break up. He then went and followed the other girl on twitter (who posted a picture on twitter that day saying “oh youre talking to me again did you just break up with your gf). I had to see him yesterday in class and we barely talked. He has been hanging out with the same group and the girl every morning and afternoon since. He promised over and over he had no feelings for her. I dont know what to do. Do you think hes just confused? I want to believe that he is just coping with his feelings by occupying his time with his friends from his team, but i cant be sure. And i dont know how he lost all feelings in the matter of a day if he did all the sweet things the day before. Do you think all he said was a lie? Or do you feel he just needs his space. Im currently just not talking to him or messaging him or anything and just seeing what he will do. it seems that he doesnt have feelings but i really do miss him and want him back. Im hoping having his space will make him want me back. Advice? I know jealously is a turn off, but he continued to tell me how much he loved me and that he wanted me and no one else and now he is acting like he doesnt care who i am or what i do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think your ex-boyfriend has a crush on the other girl, and that had a lot to do with his breaking up with you. I’m quite sure he didn’t decide in one day to break up with you. More likely, this idea came to him over time.

What would help you to understand is that dating is competitive, and rather than act jealous or try to give him rules to follow, you should bring your A game if you want to get him back. In other words, compete for him! Not being too available, and flirting with him will both let him know you’re interested, but you’re not going to sit around waiting for him, nor are you going to dwell on him. You’re a great girl with a cool life, and if he wants you back, he’ll have to chase you to get you! But if he doesn’t, then you’ve got other options out there. 😉

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[newgirl08]

i figured he had underlying feelings, but he promised over and over and i knew that i needed to have some trust. should i keep my distance for now and see if he comes back? they have been friends but it is just suspicious and worries me

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You can keep your distance and see if he comes back, or not, but that’s not my advice. Here’s what I advise:

[quote]What would help you to understand is that dating is competitive, and rather than act jealous or try to give him rules to follow, you should bring your A game if you want to get him back. In other words, compete for him! Not being too available, and flirting with him will both let him know you’re interested, but you’re not going to sit around waiting for him, nor are you going to dwell on him. You’re a great girl with a cool life, and if he wants you back, he’ll have to chase you to get you! But if he doesn’t, then you’ve got other options out there. [/quote]

[newgirl08]

sorry im just not good with this kind of stuff. what kind of “flirting” do you suggest? i dont think texting him is the best right now considering he wont respond. small talk in class? or what? im far from a relationship master.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ll get more advice on dating, flirting and winning him over, than I can give you here, if you read Think & Date Like A Man, the book I wrote for women. Here’s the link where you can buy an automatically downloading e-book: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. 🙂

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