[gough]

Hi April,

I am working with a guy (lets call him A) who is giving me signals that he is interested but I am not sure that they all add up and would love to get someone else’s take on this.

I am mid-20s and he is early 30s and have worked together for over 1 year (he is superior to me) over which time there has been intermittent periods of flirting but nothing more. He sits next to me in my office (there are several people in this office).

A new guy started work in a different office (lets call him B) and was clearly interested in me. It started with him coming in to see me in my office and giving me little (silly) presents. Guy A obviously saw this. This started one month ago and it took 2 weeks for Guy A to ask me who Guy B was (“who is your new friend” is what he said)- never been mentioned again.

So, since Guy B came, Guy A has become very friendly with me. The first 2 weeks it consisted mainly of praising my work, calling me to discuss work in the evening, saying things that make us feel like a team etc..

The last 2 weeks he has moved from work to more personal things. Randomly emailing to ask if a particular band were playing soon (he could easily check himself via the internet) then proceeding to send me links of the band, saying how much he liked them etc etc..I said they were not playing. At the weekend he text me to see if I was out (never done this before) as he made no plans and thought we could meet and see eachother. It was 9pm. I did not get the text until 1.5 hours later as I didn’t check my phone. I did not met him. When I did text back at home, we exchanged a few texts then he called just to chat..(never done this before either).

Back at work on Monday he was smiling A LOT (seems like a strange thing to mention but it was big beaming smiles all day long at me. He spoke again about the fact of him texting to see if I was out and the concerts again, even though we had clarified there was no-one playing. He behaved in a way I would deem to be what people who are more than co-workers would do, i.e sitting close during lunch and leaning over me to talk to our boss, standing arm-to-arm on a cigarette break in front of our boss and a co-worker, smiling and saying ‘hi’ randomly in the afternoon across the office, in front of co-workers, and just general flirting (I admit he is not the best flirt in the world!). However, by ourselves he appeared awkward and was quiet. Odd to behave in such a way in front of our boss and then hardly speak when I am alone with him.

His behavior was very positive and I felt like he was going to ask me out properly- just was being a bit slow about it!

Anyway, I would not be asking you what you thought just on the above info. The main reason I am posting this is because yesterday after all of the above behavior he did the exact opposite! He came in a said hello, I said hello back. He left the office for a bit in which time he had some bad news to do with work and it put him a terrible mood. He asked how I was, to which I answered and asked how he was. He didn’t answer but I kept looking at him for the answer. He didn’t look at me and just said ‘I’m ok” and practically dismissed me with hand. Why ask how are you if you don’t to be asked the question back?! About an hour later he packed up his bag and left without saying goodbye!

But he can call today from home to ask me to check something at work and act normally.

So, after all of that, does it appear he is interested in me but doesn’t deal with stress well/just had a bad day? Or he is not that into me otherwise he wouldn’t have dismissed me yesterday?

I have never experienced such a turn around of behavior in 24 hours and I do not want to waste my time on someone who is not that interested, especially as I have to work with him. But I have not experienced either, a man asking about meeting up etc to just be on a friends basis (I may be wrong) particularly 1 year after meeting the person!

Anyway, your thoughts will be appreciated!!

Thank you 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If he wants to ask you out he will. That’s how you’ll know he wants to date you. Otherwise, it’s all just flirtation in the office mixed in with work dynamics. Stop reading so much into this, and start looking for other men to date besides these guys at work.

[Member]

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