My husband and I have been married for a little under 7 years. In the beginning it was great. We went places together, did things together. We laughed and talked and had good times. We did fight alot but they were good fights, not mean or hurtful. After we got married nothing really changed, we were happy. We have 2 children now and the sex is still great, but other than that everything thing sucks. We fight constanlty, mean and hurtful fights.
The main thing we fight about is, my husband tells me he doesn’t like having someone to answer to. He sees all his friends spening money whenever they want, or going out with friends without having to tell there wives and he sees it as me having some sort of control over him.
I don’t see it this way. My husband and I live paycheck to paycheck with out a dime to spare half the time. There is never extra money. Not even $20 a week. If there was, I’ve told him I would gladly give it to him. They only reason I expect him to check with me is that he can’t be trusted that way. He has, just recently, spent our weekly gas allowence on pizza at work ($5 a day everyday for lunch for 2 weeks). So I told him he had to check with me because he would need to know if we have the money for these types of things.
The second reason is my husband is also unhappy about the contant fighting, about the above problem. I try to talk to him about it and he says all we ever do is fight. That it’s all we’ve every done. Which is true. But then he gets hurtful. Says he hates being married. Says all I ever do is nag. Says he thinks I need to lose wieght. It seems he says just anything and everything to hurt me. Afterwards I have to bug him to appologise to me. He will never even appologise without being prompted and that makes me think he really means all those nasty things.
But then other days he’s so sweet and so nice and so considerate I wonder why we ever fight.
Am I the one just being a total bitch, is there anything I should be doing differently. I really don’t know. I hate all this hurtful fighting and what it’s doing to me. I can’t seem to go a day without crying, and I can’t go to work without a knot in my stomach wondering if he will be there when I get home.
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