[sheddingIan]

I started what I thought was the perfect relationship with this girl. I was scared because we had sex really early into the relationship. We started dating one month after she had gotten out of a 5 year relationship and were only together for one month before she decided to break it off because she needed time to heal and figure things out, probably to be single for a little too (im thinking of that in the most positive way I can). I was completely understanding about it and honestly thought it was the best thing to do considering I want her to be happy and not still have someone else on her mind. This is where I got confused, sad and excited all at once. She told me that she really liked me and I made her very happy and when she figures things out maybe she will still want the relationship and we can try it again. I feel like she actually meant that, what do you think.? Also Im curious about how I can keep myself “in her sights” so to speak and show her I’m the guy of her dreams but I DON’T want to interfere with anything even if she needs to go on some dates with guys who arnt me (i don’t know how the healing process works for women) I want to be there for het but I don’t want to continue to try her best friend untill were in a relationship but I don’t want to leave her alone so much she forgets or moves on. I know there is a way to do this and save this relationship from never becoming something special I just need advice on how. Any advice at this point would help though. Thank you very much for your time

[DMaribelle]

Hello there, I found your site via Google while searching for a related topic, your website came up, it looks good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks. wish you all the best

[April Masini, your AskApril]

My advice is that you do exactly what she’s doing. You should play the field, and at the same time, send her flowers, little gifts, love letters indicating you’d like to date her, and basically, compete for her attention, while not sitting home alone like a bump on a log. When men are too available they’re not attractive, and when they are dating other women, and are seen as attractive to others, they are actually more attractive!

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[sheddingIan]

That makes a lot of sense. What about her needing to heal? An excuse or truth Or does it even matter? Also how do I go about showing her I care or giving her little gifts with out seeming to clingy or coming on to strong. I’ve been texting her but with hours in between and like yesterday I started the chat but i also stopped texting first and today she started. Are there rules when texting her? I feel so out of place looking for help online I just feel like I shouldn’t let this girl get away so easy. Thank you again

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Whether she’s healing or she just said that to let you down easily — the result is the same — you’re not together now, and you want to be, so you’re trying to pursue ways to win her over. And the difference between pursuing her and acting clingy is style! 😉 Begging is clingy. Complimenting, admiring, and dolling that up with a measure of cool, is pursuit. Timing also makes a difference. Texting her several times a week is pursuit. Texting her several times a day is clingy. There’s an old saying that is true: Nice guys finish last. That’s why I recommend that while you’re pursuing her, you’re also taking care of yourself by playing the field and looking elsewhere. If she feels that you’re a man who is desired by other women, you’re going to be more attractive to her.

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[sheddingIan]

I’m having trouble finding other women that desire me now! I’m an attractive 21 year old guy but I’m out of school right now.. how/ where do I meet women to take on dates or hang out with? And everything you said makes sense its crazy haha I’m not the best at getting the ladies ha

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Read this and it will help you! [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. 😀

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[sheddingIan]

One more question I had used the apoclyps day as an excuse to hang out. I figured the fact she’s in college and its the “last day ever” it would involve a party or something but I asked her what she wanted to do and she said she wants to go Christmas shopping.. is that her like despritly trying to say she JUST wants to be friends from now on or am I thinking to much?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re over thinking things and you’re not taking my advice. 😕

Read Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], because it’s going to help you a lot with all the issues in this string of posts. 😀

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