[Del3]

I’m in a new relationship and suspect my boyfriend is gay, bi or confused because of the things he’s said and for the things the roommate has done to my boyfriend and in front of me. He said they are like married couples and actually, they are always together either shopping for food, clothes, going out together, and they cook together almost everyday. He asked, “What do you think about gay?” I said that I accept them just like everyone. I never had a roommate but I find it too much of dependency between them. I really accept and respect others especially if they are true to themselves and to others. One time, my boyfriend was in the shower and his roommate said he was going to join him but he didn’t. Another time he rubbed my boyfriend’s butt hole with his finger. My boyfriend blushed and said he was just playing. I also asked if he has a secret that I ought to know. I guess I been afraid to ask him if he is bi or gay. There are many things that made me questioned. He even once said that he missed his roommate when he was away for a week. I should have given the relationship more time to know him better. I just don’t want to accuse him of something. He was already pulling away from me. I feel that I have to be careful to question his sexuality. I thought being patient and being more as an understanding person will have him to open up but I really need to know what is the best approach? I have a strong belief that he’s been sexually active with his roommate. Thank you

[AskApril Masini]

I don’t know how old you both are, or how long you’ve been dating this guy, but given what you did write, here’s my advice, below. 🙂

I’m not sure why you feel you need to tiptoe around your boyfriend and be careful about asking him about his sexuality. 😯 I would think that that would be a deal breaker and important to know up front. You’re taking care of him — and not yourself by not finding out. 🙄 If you need to hear him talk about his sexuality in order to decide whether to continue dating him or not, then ask him about it. Definitely do not accuse him of anything because that would be wrong. But tell him what you wrote me here, and let him know that you’re concerned because this is important to you. However, based on what you’ve told me, I would advise you follow your instincts and move on.

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