[Celticsfan9]

So I was dating this girl and everything was extremely good in our relationship but about 2 months in she said that she might be moving in 18 months and to not worry about it until the time comes. But all I could do was worry about it because I feel that it was something that needed to be discussed. So I would try to talk to her about it but she would keep brushing it off saying she was already stressed enough with school and sports. About a week later she texted me saying “I never wanted this to happen and I never thought that it would but I also never pictured you making me feel this bad either. It’s just not working anymore.” This really pissed me off because you should never breakup with someone over text and whenever I would ask her about her possibly leaving over text because she was always so busy, she would get mad and say it’s not a conversation to have over text. The worst part is that she’s been broken up with over text before and told me that it took her years to forgive the guy for it so she knows the hurt that it causes and she still subconsciously made the decision to put me through it. So we have a really bad argument and then I get a phone call from one of her male friends (who I don’t know and never gave my number out to) and he was calling me an ***hole and threatening me and stuff without knowing my side of the story. It’s been 8 months since the breakup and she hasn’t talked to me since. If I talk to her she’ll respond but won’t actually start a conversation. I guess I was just wondering what I should do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You should move on.

The two of you only dated for two months — that’s not a long time, and what you got to know about her in those two months was not just the good, but the bad. She broke up with you over text, which is really inconsiderate, and she made it very clear that she’s not interested in engaging with you in any romantic way. Chances are, since it’s eight months since the break up, she’s moved and is probably dating someone else. You’re feeling sentimental because of the holidays and because you haven’t found someone for yourself yet, so you’re doing inventory and you thought of her and wrote to me. I think that you can do a lot better and be a lot happier by finding someone else to date. I know it’s hard to move on, but this is a great time to do so. Accept all the party invitations you get — even those you’re not excited about — and get back out there and flirt, date and look for someone great to date. 😉

[Sally]

This one still hurts because it ended in a way that didn’t match how serious it felt to you. And that text breakup? You’re right it feels cowardly when someone avoids a hard conversation after you tried to have it the right way.

But here’s the part you may not want to hear. She didn’t leave because of the move. She left because the relationship started feeling heavy to her, and instead of facing that with you, she shut down. The friend calling you was out of line, but it also shows she’d already built a version of the story where you were the problem.
Eight months later, the fact that she only responds politely and never reaches out is your answer. She’s done.

What should you do now? Stop reopening the wound. You didn’t get closure because she couldn’t give it not because you didn’t deserve it.
Let this end where it already did, and protect your peace.

[Tara]

She didn’t break up with you because of the move, the text message, or your “timing.” She broke up with you because she didn’t want to deal with you anymore, and once she decided that, she stopped respecting you.

You’re obsessing over how she ended it because it’s easier than accepting why she ended it. People who still care don’t dodge conversations, brush off concerns, or outsource confrontation to silence. She checked out mentally, then ended it in the quickest, least emotionally expensive way for herself. Text was convenient. Your feelings were not.

The hypocrisy about “never breaking up over text”? Irrelevant. When someone is done, their past values evaporate. Don’t romanticize her morals; she chose what benefited her, not what was fair.

Is the male friend calling to threaten you? That tells you everything. She painted you as the villain so she could feel justified. People don’t send attack dogs unless they’re protecting a narrative. That wasn’t an accident; that was cleanup.

And now, eight months later, you’re still circling the wreckage like there’s a hidden door you missed. There isn’t. If she only responds and never initiates, that’s not mixed signals; that’s politeness without interest. You’re background noise.

Stop contacting her. Completely. No “checking in,” no explanations, no closure speeches, no dignity-seeking conversations. You don’t get closure from people who have already decided you’re disposable.

[Member]

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