[aries]

Hi,
This is a pretty sticky situation. I don’t think i could find any like it in this forum.
So this guy and I, we discussed that we don’t want the tag of a relationship whatsoever so we started the casual dating thing and it was all good, the physical intimacy and the ‘connection’, even though he had told me that he’s the ‘boyfriend’ of a girl who lives in a different city and got on with me on the pretext that he’s trying to break up with her. I agreed. My mistake. He went to a concert in a city near to the city that girl lives in and he went to meet her and slept with her. She had also come to town the month we started dating and they slept then too. 2 lies. I got to know this after a month and a half of us dating. So fyi, his past has been full of such escapades, girls throwing themselves on him and he’s slept with so many women and i was scared of that fact but he made himself appear to be a very genuine person who wants to change and i fell for it.
I had clarified initially that i want a monogamous thing even if we are sort of casual dating and he should tell me whenever he fools around with a girl. He started telling me he loves me and i couldn’t reciprocate as i had just gotten out of a relation and wanted to be sure that he’s trustworthy but he made sure i fell for his charms.. 😳 and then bang!i started getting suspicious of certain things and i sort of spied and got to know things. I confronted him, he said that was a guilt trip and he messed up majorly. I also told that girlfriend of his what he was doing and she was unaware too she said. Now he says they’ve broken up and i did the right thing cuz he says he didnt have the guts to tell her that he wants to break up as she has suicidal tendencies.
He now wants to get back with me, been a week since he’s been calling up and sending texts which are making me weak in the knees again. He says he loves me and meant everything he said and asks me why i think he’s not asking any other girl, or his girlfriend. And then his reason for lying to the gf was that he felt guilty and also he wanted to maintain it with me and knew i would be furious so didn’t tell me either. He tells me now he can’t see me with anyone else.
My ex is coming back to town and this guy’s worried i would get back with him and be vindictive on him. I don’t want to trust him anymore but then he used to make me feel good, i also sort of want him back. He has friends who are okay with such stuff of sleeping around with multiple partners but i am not and thats the reason im scared and confused of his actions. What do you feel are his intentions?
How do i gain my trust? 😕 He’s trying really hard to make me come back and he tells me every now and then that he loves me and i am bloody confused now. Can you help me with what i have to ask him to satisfy my own suspicions and then maybe give him another chance?
I apologize for such a LONG letter but i really am desperate to know whether i should give him a second chance.. 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote] What do you feel are his intentions?
How do i gain my trust? He’s trying really hard to make me come back and he tells me every now and then that he loves me and i am bloody confused now. Can you help me with what i have to ask him to satisfy my own suspicions and then maybe give him another chance?
I apologize for such a LONG letter but i really am desperate to know whether i should give him a second chance.. [/quote]

Boy this is easy! 😉

In response to your questions: His intentions are to do what makes [i]him[/i] feel good. Not you. He’s not that into you. 😳 He never was. He’s proven to you that he lies and cheats. Over and over again. If you can’t see that, maybe he’ll take out a neon sign for you. 😕 Your suspicions should be satisfied by now that he is someone who lies and cheats. This is who he is. You know it. He knows it. I’m sure other people know it — heck, I know it! 😉

You should not give him a second chance if you’re looking for a monogamous relationship. This is definitely a guy who will lie and cheat again. Don’t waste your time. Decide what YOU want and do what YOU need to do to get it. 🙂

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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