[logjam25]

OK first off I know this website is free, but I promise you I will give you $1,000 if you can somehow get me back with my ex! I am a man of my word and I would give anything to have her back! Let me start by getting you caught up to where we are right now. We are both 23, I graduated college in May, she graduates in December. We met in college. We both had a class together since we are both art majors. She is studying to be a teacher, she is doing her student teaching right now at an elementary school. I just graduated with a graphic design and studio art degree. She IS the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I know most guys say that but she really is. She was one of the homecoming queens in her high school at one of the biggest schools in the state and everyone always talks about how gorgeous she is. She is a beautiful blonde, I was honestly lucky to have her. So anyways, we met over 2 years ago in college, I talked to her a few times in the class but not a lot. I added her on Facebook a few months after the class was over and we talked for a little while and got to know each other. I got her number, talked to her every day for about a month on the phone. We would stay up till 4 am talking on the phone every night. I was already in love with this girl before our 1st date. Then we finally went out on the 1st date, it didn’t go very well, and she stopped talking to me. She ignored my texts, phone calls, emails, everything. Finally about a month later she told me that she just didn’t have time for a boyfriend. About a week later she started dating another guy. So I began to realize that she just didn’t want to be with me even after our long nights of talking for about a month, she just gave up on us (this is going to sound familiar a little bit later, so keep this in mind). So I gave up on her and about 3 months later after she had broke it off with that guy, I texted her. I asked her a random question about school and that was all. The next day she texts me and we started talking a little bit. I then asked her if she wanted to go out and give it another chance. She said she would and we went out on our 2nd first date. It went great and she acted a lot more into it than before. She started liking me a lot and fell for me. We had been dating about a month and she told me that she thought she loved me. She said she had never fell for anyone so quickly and that she was crazy about me. We started dating in April 2010. That summer was amazing. We lived 45 minutes apart but we found a way to see each other at least 3 times a week. Then that fall she got an apartment close to where we went to school, so I saw her every single day in the fall and stayed with her there about 2 nights a week. I lived with my parents and they didn’t like the idea of me staying there more than that. We were so in love after 6 months, everything was going great. Our sex life was the best, we had a lot of fun together, but most importantly we got along great. We shared everything together and really opened up to one another. She was the love of my life. From the first time I saw her in that classroom at school, I knew I had to be with this girl, she was the prettiest girl I had ever laid eyes on. So I got my wish and was dating my dream girl, and the first year was awesome. We celebrated our 1 year anniversary at a fancy restaurant and I got her flowers and was really sweet. I got her flowers and did sweet things all the time for her. I always took her out to nice places and tried to make her feel special. She was a very rich girl so I did my best to keep it classy. After our 1 year anniversary things started going downhill. We both had so many things going on at school, we only saw each other about once a week. She was working at Victoria’s Secret, working at a tanning bed, and going to school also. With her working 2 jobs and studying for school, it was tough. She told me that our love could get through anything, and even though we only got to see each other once a week, one day we would be with each other every day. She always talked about how we would get married, have kids, and live happily ever after pretty much. She said she had never said that to another guy. She dated a guy before me for 2 years before she fell out of love with him (this is going to sound familiar later also). So anyways, with her being so busy and me living 45 minutes away, we saw each other every Saturday evening. I would drive over to her house (she lived with her parents) and see her for about 4 hours every Saturday evening after she got off work. We both went to school every day, she worked every weeknight but 1, the 1 night she was off she was studying and doing homework, so there was really no chance for me to see her other than ever Saturday. I was okay with that. She called me every night and we would talk for about 10 minutes or so before she went to bed, she would text me every now and then also. This lasted the whole spring. Then I graduated school in May, we planned a trip to the beach in Hilton Head, about 8 hours away. It was a really nice place and we would get to have a whole week together! I loved the fact that I got to see her that whole week and have no distractions at all. We had a great time at the beach together and I will never forget it. After spending every second with each other at the beach and getting along, we came back home and only saw each other once a week again. She was working 2 jobs and taking summer classes. She was also studying for a couple big teaching exams that she had to pass before she could student teach that fall. She was under a lot of stress and pressure. We started arguing a lot more this summer (summer of 2011). The beach was a tease, getting to see her for a week and then seeing her about 3 or 4 times a month was awful. I was stressed out also. I wanted to see her and I couldn’t. I had been working for 3 years at a place while I was going to school so I had decided to relax and take the summer off before looking for a job in August. I had 3 beach trips lined up that summer and I wanted to enjoy my summer before starting to work for the rest of my life. Well, she hated it! She would criticize me every day for not working, she would explain to me how hard she was working and didn’t like that I wasn’t. So we would argue over that a lot. We never had any fights. We just always had little disagreements. We never raised our voice, just didn’t see eye to eye sometimes. It was always over little things. I was a butthole a few times to her and she would be really short to me sometimes also. Every relationship has disagreements, especially when you see each other once a week. But we were still in love. But when I would come and see her, things had changed. She would come to the door, open it, and walk away. The kissing and hugging when she first saw me for the first time in a week had ended, and I felt the passion had gone also. We didn’t have sex as much, and she never wanted to touch me. She always said that relationships change into a different stage after a while and that it wasn’t a bad thing, she just felt as though she didn’t want to have sex every time we saw each other. So even though I always wanted to, we didn’t. Sometimes we would argue about that also. Then in September we went to a football game together and it didn’t go very good. I was sick in the first place and wasn’t in the best mood. I was short with her and she was upset with me also. I didn’t like the fact that I hadn’t seen her in almost 2 weeks and the whole way there she was talking to her mom in the car and not me. We went to the game with her mom and step dad and just ignored me on the way there (4 hour trip). I got mad and told her I was upset, and of course, she ended up mad at me the whole day because I said something about it. She was always so opinionated and everything had to go her way, she was spoiled. She had been that way her whole life. That night after the game when I got back home she went to bed, I then texted her mom and asked her if she would talk to her. I knew that was the 1 person who could talk to her and smooth things over with her. Well so I thought. The next day we talked on the phone and got along, everything was fine. Then I sent her a Facebook message the day after that and told her that I couldn’t have my girlfriend acting like she didn’t want to see me. I told her that I would take a break from talking to her for a month if that would help her regain the attraction and desire for me because I had felt that she had lost it all. That night she called me and told me she did want to go on a “break” because that was the only thing left to do. I agreed and told her I respected her if that’s what she wanted. She told me that she promised we would go back out on a date in a few weeks and do it right this time. Well, that date never happened. I gave her the space she needed for the break, but we fell apart. Actually after a week she told me she was ready for our 3rd first date and she was actually talking to me about it. Then after I begged her to stop the break and to get things back to normal, she told me she wasn’t sure. Then a few days later she told me it was over. I asked her if she would go out to dinner with me and talk one last time and she agreed to it. We went out and while I was holding back tears, I asked her some questions that I needed answered. She told me she fell out of love with me pretty much the same way she did with her other ex she dated for 2 years. Her and I dated for a year and a half but she was a lot closer to me than she was him. She was in love with me a lot more than him. She told me she cared about me and that she still wanted to be friends, so I said okay. I couldn’t believe it was over though. I thought of every possible way to get her back, to convince her that she had made a mistake, it didn’t help. In the next few weeks I dropped flowers off by her house with a card that read “will you give us another chance?” she still wouldn’t. Every time I would text her and beg for her to come back, and tell her that I would change, she would say that she would think about it. She at least considered it. But every time she would say “not now”. She would tell me that if it was meant to be in the future then maybe we could try again. So I still texted her about once a week, she was really short with me though. She would respond with “yes”, “no”, “idk”, “ok” answers and wasn’t talkative at all. I even tried to make her jealous. I told her I was talking to another girl and that I would be fine if she didn’t want me back, but yet I told her that I still wanted another chance. She acted like it upset her a lot and it at least made her think about everything. But that didn’t work either. All my plans backfired. So after 2 months of us being broke up, I was texting her and I asked her if she could see me 1 more time. She said no, that she didn’t want to see me. I got mad and told her that she never cared about me and that she wasn’t a good girlfriend to just leave me like she did. She told me that I was harassing her, she even had her mom text me and tell me to stop texting her. I told her that she should have given me another chance and that I didn’t deserve being treated that way. She ended up telling me that she was going to block my number and told me to leave her alone and not talk to her anymore. She deleted me from Facebook and blocked my number. I honestly didn’t do much to deserve that, but if she felt I was harassing her then that was her choice. Looking back on things I do have regrets and I wish I could have done my part to treat her better. I wish I would have not let things get to the point that they did. I even asked her right after we broke up if I got a job and moved out of my parents house if she would get back with me, she told me that that wasn’t our only problem. I just wish I had 1 more chance with her, I’ve been dying without her! Even more so now because I don’t have a way to contact her. The only way I can contact her is through e-mail. I e-mailed her after the fight and told her that I was sorry, I told her that I understood if she didn’t want to talk to me anymore and I told her that I hope we can be friends in the future. I have been depressed lately, I’ve tried to talk to other girls but I can’t really find one that I’m interested in. I have honestly cried about every day for the past 3 months, since things started going terrible. I have developed a condition called TMJ where you grind your teeth at night and it causes jaw problems because of stress. I have a stiff neck every morning, a headache, I can’t hardly sleep at night, I dream about her every single night, and she is all I ever think about. I hang out with my friends or go do things that I should be having fun with and I still only think about her. I am miserable without her. I have been looking for a job but honestly, being this depressed makes me not even want to do anything at this point. My plan for the future is to show up where she works at, Victoria’s Secret while she is working and say hey to her, while I’m Christmas shopping with my friend. She works in the mall and I always go in Victoria’s Secret to look around, I’ll have my friend be looking at something for his wife while I try to say hello to her. Hopefully she will say hey and maybe by her seeing me it can spark something up, who knows. She graduates in 3 weeks and my plan was to send her a graduation card in the mail and just write in it that I know she has worked really hard in school and that I’m very proud of her. Then I was just going to give it about a month and see if she contacts me or anything before I try to contact her again. I haven’t talked to her now for 3 weeks and the mall idea will happen in 2 weeks, so that’s giving things over a month to calm down. I know her Facebook password and I saw that she had told one of her friends how I was harassing her, she said “just ignore him” and she said “i have been trying to for months now”. That hurt pretty bad seeing that, and maybe I shouldn’t stalk her like that, but I do like to see what’s going on in her life and what she says about me. Most of my friends tell me to just get over her and move on, or to get a job, change my life, move out, and then show up at her door with flowers and ask her back out and explain to her that I’ve changed my life and that I’ve ready and willing to treat her better. I told her so many times in the past that I would change and treat her better, she told me that she believed me, but then she just never gave it a chance. I think it was because I always messed things up with trying to make her jealous or saying something to make her mad at me. She isn’t the type of girl that plays games or anything like that. I honestly believe that if I gave it some time and asked her back out, she would at least consider it. But yet with the way things ended and her telling me to leave her alone, I’m not sure that will happen now. So my question is this….What can I do to get her back? There has to be some chance, some way possible that I can reel her in again. The only way of communication I have left is through e-mail so it’s kind of tricky. I just want to at least recover and redeem myself from our last argument. I don’t want her to look back on our relationship and not remember how great it was and only remember the way it ended. I need to at least do something to redeem myself. Please help me! Please give me some sort of plan or idea that I can try to work my magic with her. I honestly believe seeing me in person will help, and if there is any way possible that I can build the attraction back then I could have a chance. She loves when I do sweet things, she said the flowers were really sweet when I tried to get her back. I just need to do something really sweet and let her see that I’m not a crazy ex, but I’m a loving caring guy who loves her more than anything! Please help me get her back! She is the love of my life and I need her back in my life so I can be happy again! I would make her the happiest girl alive if she would give me that chance. However, right now she hates me I feel like. I know she still cares about me but I feel as though she hates me. Some other info on the situation is that during our relationship she never went out with her friends to drink, now every Saturday night (her night off), she goes out and drinks with them. She did meet a guy one night and was texting him every day for about a month I did find out. This was only a week after we broke up. I noticed a couple of weeks ago that she had deleted him off her Facebook also. I asked him about it the other day and he told me that they were texting every day and she just started ignoring her so he gave up on it. There was definitely not another guy involved while we were dating and I don’t believe she is getting involved with another guy right now either. She is currently student teaching and working 2 jobs, she is working out some evening at her local YMCA and drinking every Saturday night with her friends at bars. That’s pretty much all the info I know right now. So please help me get her back, I would love to hear what you have to say, thank you for taking the time to read this, any questions you might have just ask, and any information, advice, plan, or example you can give me will really help me. I am a mess right now and I need her back! Thank you!!! 😀

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m very sorry you’re so upset about this break up. It takes two people to make a relationship work, but only one to end it. Your ex-girlfriend decided that after a year the relationship had run it’s course, and has moved on. If you try to get her back now, without anything changing, you most likely won’t succeed. In order to make things work, you have to really understand why they didn’t work.

It sounds like, from what you’ve written, that the relationship ran it’s course. There wasn’t one big fight or one issue that drove the two of you apart. She just realized she wanted to see what else was out there for her. What that means to me is that she wasn’t ready for something more serious, and frankly, while you say you are, emotionally, it’s really time for you to get some other parts of your life in order first.

It’s wonderful that you graduated from college, but you need to get a job and you need to start your career. After you do that, you’ll have enough money to move out of your parents’ home and get your own place. These things are going to give you a lot more confidence, and make you a lot more attractive to women — and I’m guessing to your ex, as well.

I hope this helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[logjam25]

Thank you April! That helps me out a lot! In a couple months once I get a nice job and move out, I was planning on going to her house one afternoon. Get some flowers, dress up nice, tell her how my life has changed around and how I’m not immature anymore, and ask if she would give things another chance, or at least 1 more date to see what happens. Hopefully she won’t have another guy at that point and she will be willing to give it another try. Do you think this would be a good idea?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

YES! 😀

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[logjam25]

First off, let me say, you are great April, you have given me some great advice in the past…however, i’m back to this point with my ex..I tried to move on but that didn’t work…I have been broken up with my ex now for 6 months, we dated for almost 2 years, I have been stop missing her, but all the memories just keep coming back to me! She lived in a town an hour away, about 3 months ago, I was out with another girl (strictly friends) and saw my ex at a restaurant. We did not speak. I texted her about a week later, and we talked for a few hours, she seemed a little jealous over that girl. But I played it off cool like I was doing good and that I hope me and her could still be friends. I recently got a job in the town she lives in, she wanted me to get a job there for the time we were together but I couldn’t, and now ironically I have a job there now. I told her that, and told her we should get some coffee sometime, but she didn’t text me back. Now she will not talk to me and I just have no clue what to do. I wish she would just talk to me. But she’s not a girl into playing games, and seeing me with another girl probably made her more mad than jealous. I feel like maybe I could give it a few months and then try to tell her that I’m single and missing her again, and see if she would give things another try, but I really doubt it. I just feel like she hates me. Our relationship ran its course, and we have both been single since we broke up. I have grown up so much, have a good job now, moving out into the town she actually lives in, and just really bettering myself. So I do believe that I have grown up and am ready for a relationship now. Even when I was texting her that one night she said “well I guess you have grown up a little bit”. So that was a big step that she acknowledged that. But the flower idea that I tried a few months ago, she thought that was sweet of me, I left flowers at her house with a card asking her to give things another chance, but she told me she just didn’t want to, at least for now. But I feel like she’s further away than ever now. She just won’t give me a chance to talk to her or anything. Just please let me know what I can do, if anything. It’s just crazy that I work about 1 mile from her house and we are both single, I feel like she could at least go to dinner with me and see what happens, but she won’t take that chance.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Like I said before, it takes two people to make a relationship work, so if you want to continue to pursue her, you should — but don’t put all your eggs in one basket (for a couple of reasons). If you do, you’re not going to seem as attractive to her. Women want guys who are wanted by other women. They want guys who aren’t the nice guys who get trampled like a doormat. Show your interest, but let her know you’re not sitting home pining for her.

Also, if you diversify your interests, just like in a business, you’ll widen your outcome for success. I know you’re stuck on her, but it’s a smart idea for you to look elsewhere at the same time you’re trying to spark her interest. You may actually meet someone who’s fabulous and interested in you!

And lastly, while it sounds like you are investing and improving on yourself, don’t stop that work. It’s always a good idea to keep yourself interesting and improving. It’ll make you feel better about your life, and others will be interested in you if you’re constantly evolving, too. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: : . 😀

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