[Anonymous]

My man went to the club and for the first time I Let him go because I do not trust him..but I thought I give it a try and begin to trust him but he messed up…he got back home from the club at 5am and we had sex and after an hour I went to the restroom (he was already sleeping) and I spotted his phone on the bathroom floor but he had it locked, but I was able to get in and break the code lol ha ha ha….and I found txt messages from a girl he met in the club…they were talking about were they live and he called her sexy and that they should meet and hang out..so I was furious because we are a family with children and he still wants to play that single guy role..I mean grow up. So i confronted him and he said it didn’t mean nothing he just talked to her bcuz she kept bothering him and she was ugly..that he didn’t even kiss her nor dance with her ..nothing happened so he says..I don’t know April, I don’t know if I should believe him. I think about it everyday and it hurts me because we are planning to get married and I am having second thoughts. I really love him but cant trust him and when I try to trust him he messes up its like he takes advantage of it…and he wants to go to texas to visit his best friend but now I do not think that is a good idea now..what should I do or say..he says he loves me and that it was just the liquor that made him talk to her back..and that he wants more children but I am not dumb, I know he is trying to sweet talk to me..April he is a good guy..takes me were I want to go, buys what i need, loves me at home, a good father…I don’t know if leaving him because of this is worth it. I feel if I give in and stay he might do it again..I’m so confused……thank you

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very clear that you don’t trust him, and from what you wrote it appears that he is not loyal or faithful to you. Your problem is that you’re holding onto this dream of marrying him and raising your children together as a respecting and respectful loyal couple. I think you need to wake up and smell the coffee. He’s not who you want him to be and he’s not going to give you reason to trust him in the future. If he’s cheating on you now, marriage isn’t going to change that.

I’m sorry, but I think you’d do better to move on and find someone who can give you what you want in a relationship. He can still be a good father to your children, but he can’t be a good boyfriend or husband.

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

Thanks April! I am trying to wake up..you see this happened before with my first relationship which I have a child from my previous relationship and I am realizing this is happening to me again..maybe it is me (as they say). I am so use to being attached to a guy that I am afraid to move on by myself..its scary to me…I am a grown women and I know needing a man is so childish… so at this point I am trying to detached myself.maybe it is caused by my childhood not having a father and because of that I need to be loved by a man to replace my loneliness during that time period…but its time to let it go because I have my father now but I am so use to this lifestyle that is hard to move on..I quess I have to take baby steps…just the thought of this being the 2nd time makes me just want to give up and be alone and forget men….Thanks April, even my parents say to move on…there are plenty of fish in the sea huh!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If your parents are telling you to move on and I’m telling you to move on — what are you waiting for!? 😉

I think it’s great that you’re so analytic, but it’s not that you’re looking for love and are afraid to leave a man that is the problem. The problem is that you’re allowing yourself to be treated badly. It’s great to want to be in a relationship, but I hope you’ll look for one where the man treats you well, and there is mutual trust. You can have that — you just have to behave a certain way.

Anyway, I’m glad I could help, and I hope you’ll do what you need to to find Mr. Right! 😀

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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