[midnightinsomnia]

I really need to clear my head on this….any sincere input would be greatly appreciated….

I will try to be as concise as I can. I have been dating a woman for about a month, we really hit it off and everything clicked. We told each other it felt like we have known each other for such a long time even though it’s only been a month, and we told each other our darkest secrets that we have almost never told anyone else outside of our immediate families. She confessed that she is in love with me. But trouble started when her child’s father (her ex) came crawling back to her, begging her to get back with him despite the numerous times he lied and cheated. They broke up just a few months ago.

She was in a dilemma, she claimed that she loves me and not her ex, and she would be with me, however for the child’s sake, she wants to give her ex one more chance to see if he’s really changed, and she wants to see if she can fall back in love with him again.

Almost everyone in her family is against her going back with her ex as well.

My question is….in your experience, is it likely for her to make herself fall back in love for the sake of her child?

Should I wait for her, or move on……

I walked all alone outside in the snow 2 am in the morning for two hours, listening to her favorite song over and over again, and I still can’t get my head straight. Please, any advice would be appreciated.

[SomethingSomething]

Let me tell you my best friend’s story… (Let’s call her M)

So, M met G when she was 18 and he pursued her, but she simply didn’t like him. However, after a breakup with her boyfriend at the time, M and G started dating. He would fly her to the Moon and back, and they got married and had a kid. And then his true face surfaced – using drugs (cocaine), drinking, beating her up… It took her almost a year to pack up and move back with her parents.

Then, the hell broke loose. He was denying her divorce, coming over and terrorizing the entire family – even her younger sister, who was pregnant at the time. I lost count of texts from M, begging me to come with someone or police to send him away. So one night, I was hanging with my male crowd at my place, and my dear friend D and I went “to the rescue”.

One thing led to another, and M and D fell in love. He had managed to protect her against G, took care of her son, treated her like a queen (for instance, even if two of them would be hanging out at his place, he would pick her up and drop her off at her doorstep). I was so happy – in fact, the entire crowd was certain that it would be “happily ever after” thing. D is also divorced, with one kid. G got remarried and had a child with second wife, so it seemed he was out of the picture.

Then, things take 180 degree turn – M breaks up with D after 4-year relationship and starts seeing G again. G is pushing, bringing her gifts and stuff, saying that he had changed. Meanwhile, he’s still using and drinking – and denying. D was devastated – to the point that we had set up kind of a “suicide watch” for him for some 2-3 weeks. I talked to M and her parents. They hated the idea of her being back with G and begged me to do something, so I tried.

At this point, I haven’t seen or heard from M for more than a month, after some heavy duty names-calling from her. She doesn’t accept my calls, nor would talk to me if I visit her home/office. I saw her the other day from my car with black eye. I’ve talked to her mother – there’s nothing they can do. She keeps saying “He’s the father of my child and I belong with him!”

As for D, he’s good now. Great, even! Yes, there were some rough times, but he’s back to his old self now. He’s going out, having fun and meeting new ladies. He’s a bit more cautious now about opening up, but I’m sure he’ll find a lady that will be just right for him.

Yes, I saw that big guy cry like a baby, holding a heart-shaped cushion he gotten from M, with a bottle of Whiskey next to him. Me and another friend had spent 3 hours trying to make him finish a rather small sandwich – something that he wouldn’t consider even a snack otherwise. He lost some 15-20 pounds in a month and looked like a pale shadow of what he once was.

But got back in the saddle. And so will you 🙂

[kai]

I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors.

This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions.

If you want to get a response from April, please repost your question in the proper forum, the Q & A Advice Forum:
https://www.askapril.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=1

[AskApril Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Member]

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