[Anonymous]

Ok my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months and we live together, I know kind of quick but we both love each other very much. I am 27 and he is 24, before we started actually dating but were talking I made a huge mistake and slept with someone at a party when I was drunk. I didn’t tell him and know I should have. He found out about it after we had been dating about a month and a half, we argued about it then talked about it and he said he understood and was fine and forgave me. Yesterday he tells me he hasn’t gotten over it and he thinks he was tricked into our relationship. WE then talked about it and he said he didn’t want to leave me because he can’t see himself anywhere else or with anyone else. Also before I met him I made some poor choices and had 2 other one night stands with people he happens to know and this is giving him issues as well. I just don’t know what to do I love him very much but now I feel like I’m not good enough for him. He has said 2 comments about it today about a show he was watching about infidelity and said maybe it was a hint for him and that I needed to acknowledge how I made him feel for healing to begin. Well I did acknowledge how I made him feel. I really just don’t know what to do and how he and I can get through this. I love him and do not want to lose him, I used to actually be able to see us getting married but now I don’t think I deserve him.

[Ask April Masini]

Woah, there! What’s really going on here?

He’s mad because you slept with someone BEFORE you started dating him? And you’re buying into this?? 😯 There is NO infidelity here. Just an immature guy who is going to have problems with whomever he is with — you or some other woman — if he thinks that he can date a 27 year old woman who has no dating past.

That you’re buying into this dynamic is of more concern than his unrealistic expectations and behavior. It would help to know how soon after dating him you moved in together, because I think it may have been premature. This guy isn’t right for you, and your feelings and your need to write me for advice are confirming that for you. (Listen to your own instincts!)

You need a more mature man who understands that people bring life experience to the table — and that there is a lot of wisdom in life experience, not just mistakes made.

Find someone better for yourself. (It won’t be that hard! 🙂 )

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